


A Little Broken

by RanebowStitches



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Consensual Underage Sex, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Slow Burn, carl is seventeen, good guy Negan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 65,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RanebowStitches/pseuds/RanebowStitches
Summary: Negan is the guidance counselor at Carl’s high school. Carl is being abused by Shane and goes to Negan but is too scared to actually tell him what’s wrong. Negan, intrigued, checks up on Carl periodically and they become closer and closer.
Relationships: Carl Grimes/Negan
Comments: 36
Kudos: 116





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome!  
> This fic is actually a roleplay between me and a partner with whom I've lost contact with. Their discord name is 'Regan' and their tumblr used to be 'spnroleplayer', but unfortunately, their blog doesn't exist anymore. I asked a while back if they'd be okay with me posting this fic one day, and they said yes, so I'm finally getting around to doing that. We didn't technically finish the story together, but I will do my best to bring it the ending it deserves.
> 
> I wrote Negan and my partner wrote Carl.
> 
> Rating/warnings/tags subject to change.
> 
> Heed the tags, there's a few triggers.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy!

_ Moodboard by Ranebowstitches _

As Carl walked into school, his body aching from what Shane had done the night before, he decided enough was enough. He couldn’t deal with this anymore. While in homeroom, he got a pass to go down to the guidance counselor’s office. The whole walk there he steeled himself. Once he actually admitted what was going on (if he could, he was starting to doubt himself), he knew that there would be a load of questions and that everything would probably fall into chaos. He reached the door to the school counselor, Negan’s, office, and took a steadying breath before knocking on the door.

Negan hit a few more buttons on his keyboard before clicking print. He turned in his swivel chair and collected the pages that spat out of the printer, spinning back to his desk and placing them into the folder that was on his desk. He scooted himself to his filing cabinet and placed the file where it belonged. He was just closing the cabinet when he heard a knock on his door. 

Negan perked up and quickly rolled himself back behind his desk before standing up. He made his way to the door, opening it and giving a smile to the student on the other side. 

“Hello, hello. You’re a new face! Come on in. Take a seat anywhere,” he gestured inside his office with a sweep of his arm. A comfy loveseat couch sat in front of Negan’s desk, a large armchair sat in the corner, and off to one side was a stereotypical futon that was always seen in psychologists’ offices. He waited for the boy to take a seat before closing the door and taking a seat back in his own chair. “What can I do for you today…?” He trailed off, looking for a name from the boy. 

Carl winced slightly as he sat on the loveseat and pulled his knees to his chest. “Uh, I’m Carl. Carl Grimes,” he said softly. He absently looked around the office, trying to find a way to even begin explaining the whole mess he had found himself in.

His heart was racing in his chest and he could swear that Negan could hear it. His palms were starting to sweat, and he still had no idea where to even start.

“Nice to meet you, Carl. I’m Mr. Morgan, but most students just call me Negan,” he pointed to his nameplate on his desk. He examined Carl’s body language, unsurprised by him immediately curling in on himself. He was in a new place, a new setting, with a new person and the expectation of spilling his troubles hung over his head. It was only natural for Carl to be nervous. Negan was used to it. 

He went into his usual new kid spiel. “First, I just want to tell you that anything you say in here stays in here. There is a bubble of confidentiality around this room,” Negan circled his finger in the air. “Second, I’m already proud of you for coming to me. Seeking help is hard, but you’ve done it!” He grinned, his white teeth gleaming in the soft light cast by the lamp in the corner of the room. “So, what can I do for you, Carl?”

He nodded, seemingly lost in thought. “Uh, I just...” he trailed off, biting his lip. “Something’s kinda been, um, going on and...” Suddenly his mouth was dryer than the desert and he felt like he just couldn’t speak another word. He was honestly terrified. Shane had threatened him before, warning him that there’d be hell to pay if he so much as  _ thought _ of telling anyone.

Negan nodded slowly, lacing his fingers together on the top of his desk. Something was  _ definitely _ going on for this kid. He could see the fear suddenly flash through his one bright blue eye. The other was covered by white bandages, and Negan wondered if it was part of why he was here. He waited a moment to see if Carl would continue on his own before encouraging him. “It’s ok,” he softened his grin to a small smile. “Take all the time you need.” 

“I’m j-just really st-stressed about s-school,” he suddenly stuttered. The lie was so blatantly obvious, as was the fear on his face. He absently fiddled with his shoelaces, avoiding Negan’s eyes.

Negan didn’t need to be a trained counselor to see straight through that lie. His smile tightened a hair but he knew not to push the kid. Not yet. There was a reason Carl wasn’t telling him the truth, but he didn’t want to scare the kid away. “Oh! Well, stress is a very real concern. Is there something specific? A certain class? Bullies?” he asked, keeping up with the charade. 

Carl had never been very good at lying, and he knew it. He bit his lip, considering what he’d say next. He could go down the bullying route, considering it wouldn’t even exactly be a lie. He’d gotten a whole lot of shit from his classmates after his accident. He didn’t exactly blame them though. He knew he looked like a freak. Plus, it had died down recently, so he didn’t want to rat on them and have it start up again. Guess he’d have to say it was a class. It’d be believable enough, considering he had D’s in every class. The truth was though, he’d just stopped caring. He’d kind of stopped caring about anything.

“Nothing specifically,” he murmured. “Just, um, classes in general?”

Negan nodded. “A lot of students get overwhelmed by the workload. It’s a struggle to balance all the work for all the classes and once you fall behind a little, it seems like there’s no point in trying to get back on track,” Negan explained. He didn’t know if that’s what Carl had actually meant, but he knew this was all a lie anyway so it didn’t quite matter. He pulled a small pad of paper from inside his desk and grabbed a pen from the holder on his desk. “I am assuming your grades are not doing so hot. I can write you a pass that will require teachers to lessen your workload until your grades raise two letters,” he clicked the pen and looked at Carl, trying to lock eyes with the boy’s one. “If you think that will help?” He raised an eyebrow, double meaning playing on his tongue. 

Carl avoided his eyes, choosing instead to look just over his shoulder, out the window. He wasn’t sure Negan even believed him, but if he did, he’d know he was lying as soon as he met his gaze. But he slowly nodded, suddenly seeming eager to get out of there. “Yeah, that should help.”

Negan hummed. “Alright,” He clicked his pen twice before scribbling onto the pad like a doctor writing a prescription. He tore off the top paper. Standing, Negan made his way around to the front of his desk, leaning against it right in front of Carl. He held the note out to him. “I would like to see you again in a couple weeks, or even sooner, to see how you’re doing. If that’s alright with you?” Negan’s curiosity was piqued. He wanted to know what was actually going on with Carl, but he couldn’t do that if Carl didn’t see him or talk to him truthfully. 

Shit, Negan knew he was lying. He’d probably be facing a full-blown interrogation if he came back. The mere thought made Carl feel panicky and he suddenly struggled to breathe. Who knew what Shane would do to him if Carl were to tell. “Y-yeah that’s f-fine.” He stood up and quickly grabbed the note, stuffing it in his pocket. “I should, uh, should g-get back to cl-class,” he said, clenching his fists to keep his hands from shaking. He shouldn’t have come, it was stupid of him. Shane was going to find out, he just knew it.

Oh, there was something wrong indeed. Negan couldn’t have this student leaving and having a panic attack. He moved slowly, not touching Carl but hovering his hands next to the boy's shoulders. “Carl,” Negan stated, hard but with care, still trying to get eye contact. “Take a few deep breaths for me. Breath in for seven, out for five. In seven, out five. Can you do that for me before you leave?” 

Despite the fact that Negan hadn’t actually touched him, Carl flinched and stumbled back a step. He stared hard at the ground, trying to force himself to calm down. It wasn’t exactly working. He felt his throat close up and tears prick his eye. Oh no, no, no. He couldn’t start crying. Not here.

Negan flinched back at Carl’s reaction. Fuck. He knew that had been a risky move and he regretted it. “Carl, it’s ok. Just breathe.” Negan was waiting for the tears to start. He was used to seeing them, but they still always shook them. There was something about children and teens crying that really ate at him. “Please, Carl. You don’t have to say anything. Just sit and breathe.”

“N-no, I gotta g-go,” he choked out, turning and practically sprinting from the room. He didn’t stop running until he stumbled into the boy’s bathroom, which was thankfully empty. He leaned against the sink, struggling to breathe as he started to cry and found he couldn’t stop.

It took a while for Carl to calm down, but eventually, he did. He took a shuddering breath and glanced in the mirror, taking in his appearance. It was obvious he’d been crying, his face and eye red. He couldn’t go back to class looking like this. There was no way. His teachers would know something was wrong and they’d probably send him right back to Negan. He momentarily panicked, trying to figure out what the hell he should do.

God, he shouldn’t have gone to the counselor. How  _ stupid.  _ Sighing, he splashed some water on his face and rubbed it away with his sleeve, looking at himself again. He looked a little better, but not much.

_ Fuck _ .

…

Negan watched the boy run from his room and sighed. “Fuck…” That was not how that was supposed to happen. He debated about following him but decided against it. The last thing Carl needed was Negan hounding him. If he wanted Negan’s help, he knew where to find him. 

Instead, Negan moved to his computer and opened up the student file of one Carl Grimes. He hummed at his grades and at the photo on file. Carl had two eyes in it. That wound must be relatively new… or he refused to get another photo taken. 

With a few clicks, Negan had Carl’s pages printed out and was placing them within a new folder which went into his filing cabinet.

All he could do now was wait.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl has a few more sessions with Negan.

It was a week later when Negan found himself with a chunk of time in between appointments. He was filing the last student back into their place in his cabinet when the name “Grimes, Carl” caught his eye. Letting his thumb run over the tab on the folder, he hummed. Usually, he allowed the students full control to come to him when they needed, but there was something definitely going on in Carl’s life, and it wasn’t stress from school. The folder landed with a soft plop on his desk as he turned to his computer and sent an email to Carl’s next period teacher, asking for her to please send him down.

…

As soon as Carl walked into his next class, history, the teacher gave him a pass, telling him that he had been called down to the guidance office. He couldn’t help the panic that made his heart race even as he silently took the pass and started walking to Negan’s office. Shane had been suspicious enough when he somehow found out that Carl had gone to the guidance counselor’s office a week ago, and then skipped school the rest of the day. He bit his lip, willing himself to calm down. He’d just make things worse if he showed up in the office while in the middle of a panic attack. He sighed softly and knocked when he reached Negan’s door.

…

Negan started getting his room ready after he sent the email. He closed the blinds on his windows about halfway, letting in a faint amount of the afternoon light, and turned on the warm lamp in the corner of the room. It was just enough light to feel cozy and safe. He threw a few pillows onto the futon and the couch. He was debating about making a pot of coffee simply so that the smell would radiate in the room, but there was a knock on his door before he had the chance. He took a deep breath and cracked his neck. Alright. Here goes nothing. 

“Hello, hello. Nice to see you again. Please, take a seat anywhere,” Negan said, opening the door and waving Carl in. “How are you today?”

Carl hesitantly walked in, clearly on edge. “I’m f-fine. How, um.” He cleared his throat nervously. “How are you?” He sat on the couch again, but instead of curling in on himself like before, he sat at the very edge of his seat, tensed and seeming ready to jump up and runoff. His hands were folded tightly in his lap to try and hide that they were shaking.

Negan noticed the waves of anxiety rolling off Carl immediately. He shut the door softly behind him and walked around behind his desk. Instead of sitting down, he pulled his chair out and over, positioning it next to the couch, so that when he sat he was next to Carl and not behind a big imposing desk. “I’m doing alright,” Negan answered, as he settled into his chair, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. “How have your classes been? Still stressed?” He quirked an eyebrow up in question.

Carl relaxed a tiny bit as Negan asked about classes. Maybe he did believe him, then. He was just following up. He absently scratched his collarbone, which made the collar of his shirt shift just enough to reveal a dark purple mark that stood out on his pale skin. “They’re okay,” he murmured. “Having less work is helping, I guess.”

Negan nodded, his eyes following Carl’s movement and zeroing in on the bruise that he accidentally revealed. Negan mentally marked that down and looked back at Carl’s face. “Well, I’m glad to hear it! I noticed that you went up from a D to a C- in geometry. That’s a great start,” Negan licked his bottom lip and leaned back. He needed to crack this kid open, but he needed to be delicate. “So, Carl, tell me a bit about yourself!” Negan said with a grin. “What’s your favorite subject? What do you like to do in your free time?”

Carl frowned slightly, staring at Negan with a bit of curiosity. He wanted to know why the hell Negan cared to even talk to him. Most people didn’t. Hell, even his parents rarely talked to him, though that probably had to do with the fact that his father had been promoted to sheriff, and therefore had a whole town to look after and his mom had his baby sister to take care of. Even when they had free time, though, they didn’t seem all too interested in what he did. 

“I like English, I guess,” he said quietly, shifting uncomfortably. “I like to read, and write.”

Negan nodded, smiling. Alright, this was good. Communication. Negan could roll with this. “I like English too, though it was never my best subject,” Negan said, shaking his head. “I like to read, mainly sci-fi stuff. What genre do you like to read? What kinda things do you write?” He leaned minutely closer to Carl, giving him his full attention and making sure Carl knew he was listening to him. The boy still hadn’t really relaxed, but he was much calmer than when he first entered and Negan chalked that up as a win for him.

Carl shrugged slightly, still wondering exactly what Negan was playing at. He had to have some kind of ulterior motive. Everyone did. “I just kinda write short stories. And I like sci-fi too,” he murmured.

“Oh!” Negan grinned. “Perhaps I could read one one day, hm?” He had a feeling this kid was really interesting if only he’d open up. He still cared about what was the actual problem in his life, but Negan found himself wanting to know about him just from a friendly perspective. “And, if you ever need a new book to read, you can borrow one of mine.” Negan pointed to the wall behind where the futon sat. A bookshelf sat into the wall, filled to the brink. “You just have to promise to give it back,” He winked at Carl.

Carl didn’t think before getting up and walking over to the bookshelf. He silently read over some of the titles, lightly trailing his fingers over the spines of the books. “You have good taste,” he admitted quietly. He noticed that one of his favorite books was there and he gently pulled it from the shelf. “Is this really a first edition?” he asked, a small bit of excitement in his expression.

Negan sat up straight in his chair but didn’t follow Carl, wanting to give him his space. A fond smile crossed his face, happy that Carl was interacting. He chuckled at Carl’s comment and nodded at his question. “It sure is. I had to fight a man for that book,” He mimed a couple of punches in the air before focusing back on Carl. “You should open it. Look on the inside cover.” Negan smirked, excited to see his reaction to the personalized message and signature from the author that was scrawled in the book.

Carl did as told, unable to hold back the small grin that appeared on his face as he read the message and traced a finger over the signature. “This is actually really cool,” he said softly, glancing at Negan but not maintaining eye contact.

Negan couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped his lips. The smile on Carl’s face warmed Negan’s heart. Slowly, he would open up. “Isn’t it though? That’s one of my favorite possessions.” 

Suddenly, Negan’s phone began vibrating on his desk. He wheeled himself back and around and picked it up, stopping the alarm. “Oh! I’m sorry, Carl, but my next appointment will be here soon,” He really didn’t want to rush Carl out, but it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids if he didn’t. Standing, he walked around to the front of his desk, leaning against it. “Would you like to come back and see me again? We can schedule something during your lunch or study hall so you don’t have to miss class,” He shrugged, trying to come off as nonchalant. 

Carl put the book back, then looked over at him with a frown. “Why do you want me to come back?” he questioned, his guard up again. He didn’t trust this guy, hell he didn’t really trust anyone. Not anymore. Why did Negan keep wanting to talk to him? What did he want from Carl? “Why’d you even call me down here today?”

Negan frowned right back at him. Shit. “Carl, you came to me first,” he stated, voice level. “It’s my job to follow up and see how you’re doing. I just want to help in any way I can.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not forcing you to come back and talk to me. It’s  _ your _ choice.” Sighing, he dropped his arms. “Frankly, you seem like a nice kid and I would like to get to know you more, but if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” He cocked his head at Carl and licked his bottom lip.

Negan wanted to get to know him? But why? Carl was just the one-eyed freak kid who had no friends. Wait, that was probably exactly why Negan wanted to see him again. Carl was some type of pity project to make Negan feel better about himself. His face hardened and he glared at Negan. “Well, I don’t need your help,” he snarled, turning and starting to walk out. “And I certainly don’t need your pity.”

Negan’s brows furrowed at Carl’s words. Pity? Where had that come from? He watched Carl leave without giving him another word. Would he ever leave his office in a good mood? Negan sighed. Things had been going so well too. He sat down at his desk and made a few notes in Carl’s file, making sure to mark down where he had seen the bruise on Carl’s collarbone area. It didn’t look self-inflicted, so then the question was who. He clicked his pen a few times, looking down at Carl’s file, lost in thought. He could only hope Carl would come back to him on his own. He hoped he’d come back before he got more hurt.

…

It had been weeks since Carl had last seen Negan, and things had only gotten worse. The door to his office was open, so Carl just walked in, wincing with each step. He looked a bit thinner, his clothes hanging on him a bit weird, and he had bags under his eyes. He didn’t say a word, just plopped onto the couch, biting his lip to hold back a pained whimper.

Negan was typing up an email when Carl shuffled into his room. He could tell immediately that the boy was in physical pain and Negan felt his heart bleed. God, he looked so different. What had happened? Negan felt the need to be petty rise up into him, his mind telling him to ignore the boy and finish his email, but Negan knew that wouldn’t help at all. He also knew he couldn’t coddle him. So, he turned to face the boy, looking at him over his desk. “Hello, hello. It’s been a while. How are you? Classes going alright?” He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at him.

Carl nodded silently, biting his lip as he silently fought with himself. He felt like he was at his breaking point, like he couldn’t take much more of what Shane was doing to him. But he was also terrified of what Shane would do to him if he told anyone. “You said anything I say in here is confidential, right?” he asked quietly, glancing up at Negan then quickly glancing away.

Negan frowned. He didn’t like that at all. “Yes, only with your written permission will information be released to anyone outside of this room,” Negan explained. He tapped his fingers on his desk softly, glancing up at his door that was wide open.

“There are of course legal exceptions to this,” he stood, talking as he walked over and closed the door. “If there is a clear danger to you or someone else by you or someone else,” he made his way slowly to the couch and sat next to Carl, as far away as he could. His voice lowered in volume, as he finished, “Or if there’s reasonable suspicion of abuse.” He looked the boy over, 99% sure he was being abused in some way. He was afraid that by telling Carl that he wouldn’t open up to him, but it was the law and he was required to inform him of it. “But, just because I can report that, doesn’t mean I  _ have _ to. I know there are situations that can be made worse if the word gets out.” Negan knew this was violating his code, that he  _ was _ required to report those things, but there was something about this boy that made him want to toss all of that out the window just so he could hear him speak.

Carl tensed up at the word abuse, staying silent as he considered his options. He didn’t have many. He could just leave, pretend this never happened, and let Shane get away with what he was doing. He could tell his dad, who might not even believe him, and if he did believe him, he’d probably confront Shane, who would find a way to get out of any consequences. He briefly considered telling Negan. Would Negan even believe him? After all, Shane was a cop. And what if Negan was lying, and he reported it anyway?

Carl clamming up just confirmed Negan’s suspicions. Carl was being abused and he didn’t want to tell him about it. There was probably a form of blackmail or threat that was keeping him from reporting it. Negan sat with Carl, giving him time to think and respond. When he didn’t, Negan knew he needed to pull something out of his hat.

“Hey, that’s alright. You don’t have to talk if you don’t want,” Negan shoved his hand in his pocket and pulled out a quarter showing it to Carl. “Do you wanna see a magic trick?” It was one of the more juvenile ways he knew to try and open students up, but hey, it could just work.

He gave him a weird look but shrugged, happy for the change in subject. Part of him felt like Negan was trustworthy, but he didn’t even really know him. And what if he ended up turning on him like Shane did? “Sure,” he said softly.

“Alright, now, watch this. The quarter is here in my left-hand right?” Negan held the quarter in his left palm so Carl could see it before curling his fingers over it and holding it in his fist. He brought up his right fist next to it to match. “But when I do a little shake,” He shook both his hands like he was shaking a pair of maracas. “The quarter is now in my right hand,” He held his right fist up but didn’t open it. “And when I do another little shake,” He shook his hands again before opening his right hand, hitting it against his chest right over the breast pocket on his shirt. “The quarter has moved to this pocket, but one more shake and…” He shook his hands again before opening up his left fist, to show the quarter sitting right in the middle of his palm. “The quarter is back in my left hand where it started.” He chuckled softly and smiled at Carl. “How about that?”

Carl huffed a little laugh, the corners of his mouth tugging up just slightly. “That was kinda stupid,” he murmured, not in a mean way. He was quiet for another few minutes. “Let’s say that I...I have a friend, right? And...and someone’s h-hurting them. What, um...” He trailed off, licking his lips. “W-what should I t-tell them to d-do about it?”

Negan was happy his trick got a good reaction out of Carl. Some kids hated it and he could never tell who it would work on. He hummed at Carl’s question, putting his quarter back into his pocket. “Well, you should tell them to tell a trusted adult. A parent, a teacher, a police officer. It can be hard to tell sometimes, but those people are there to help. They can help get your friend away from the person hurting them,” he said softly.

Carl sighed, looking frustrated. “But Sh-“ He quickly cut himself off, looking terrified as he realized he almost said his name. “Um, I mean, th-the person hurting them has… power. Th-they could easily m-make it seem like I, uh, my friend is lying,” he said, his voice shaking.

“Ah, I see,” Negan said, putting his hand over his mouth and looking down at the ground in thought. Someone with power. The abuser could  _ be _ a parent, or teacher, or police officer in that case. Negan understood now why it took Carl this long to seek help, but he was glad he did. He racked his brain for a solution. “I mean, they should really still tell someone, or at least work to get away from the person as much as possible. Hang out with friends, join an after school activity, move in with other relatives.” He sighed and looked at the frail boy. “Unfortunately, abusers usually won’t stop unless they are confronted with their crimes.”

Carl pulled his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on his knee as he fell silent. His heart was racing, this was the closest he’d ever come to telling anyone about what was going on, and it scared him. It would be so easy to just give Shane’s name, but he knew he’d get out of any trouble he’d get in. He was a police officer, after all.

Negan frowned as the boy fell silent and curled up. He debated what to do, trying to decide if he should push Carl to tell him his abuser’s name. Nothing good usually came from pushing kids that were being literally pushed around. Negan sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. “Carl, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want, and you’re free to stay here or come here whenever I’m free,” he assured him. If he could do anything, he could give Carl a safe space. “I want to help you, but I need to know how you want me to do that. What do you want me to do for you? You don’t have to answer right now, just… think about it.”

Carl nodded silently, still thinking, “Do you ever stay after school?” he asked softly. Usually, Shane came over to his house after school, since his parents were always gone then, and they seemed to think he still needed a babysitter. Carl never had any reason not to go straight home after school, as he had nowhere else to go.

Negan smiled and sighed. “Yes, I stay a couple of hours after school every day doing paperwork and such. You are free to spend your time here if you want.” Yes! Negan mentally cheered. This would be good. Carl could come after school and do his homework and hopefully stay away from whoever was hurting him. Negan would get to keep his eye on the boy as well and make sure he was doing ok, see if he was improving or not. Negan couldn’t lie, he was excited.

The bell signaling the end of the first period rang and Carl jumped up, surprised. “I have to get to class,” he said softly, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “So, you’re staying after school today then, right?” he asked quietly, double-checking.

Negan nodded and stood, gesturing for Carl to stand as well and walked him to the door. “Yes, I sure am. Just come on down anytime after the final bell.” Negan gave Carl a smile. “I’ll be here.”

Carl nodded, flashing a tiny smile in return. He still wasn’t sure he’d come, he’d have to tell Shane first (though he’d tell him it was just tutoring), and then Shane might tell him that he has to come home. But hopefully, he’d be able to come back. It was certainly better than the alternative. He left, heading to class.

Negan watched Carl leave, blending into the crowd of students in the hall. He waved to a few of them before going back into his office and getting out Carl’s file, quickly writing down everything he had learned from that small session. Once done he sat back and took a deep breath. Alright, this was good. This was progress. He put Carl’s file away and checked his appointments for that day, getting the room ready for the first student he had.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl goes home with Negan to avoid Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are enjoying! I actually haven't read over this in a couple of years, so it's like I'm reading it for the first time as I edit it haha~

As the final bell rang, Negan rubbed at his eyes, looking away from his computer. He went to his side table by the large armchair in the corner of the room and got a pot of coffee brewing. He collapsed in the armchair next to it, sighing. Some days really emotionally drained him. He loved working with these students and helping them, but part of him wished his job wasn’t needed. He watched the coffee drip into the pot as he tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. He wondered if Carl would show.

…

Carl had completely forgotten that he was planning on going to Negan’s office after school. He only remembered once he was at his locker and packing up. He spent so long debating whether or not he should go that he missed the bus, kind of leaving him no choice. He made sure he had all his homework before locking his locker and heading to Negan’s office. He knocked on the door, hoping he was still there.

Negan was pouring his mug of coffee when he heard the knock. Fuck, yes! He set the pot down and walked over, opening it. “Hello, hello. Make yourself at home. I just made coffee if you want some. Mugs are in the drawer of the side table,” Negan pointed to it as he spoke, moving around to behind his desk. “I’ve just got a few things I need to do here, but if you wanna talk, we can talk, but if you just wanna do homework, you can do that too.” He shrugged. He was tired but that was what coffee was for. He took a long drink from his mug.

Carl walked in, dropping his bag on the couch and sitting beside it. “I think I’ll just do my homework,” he said softly, opening his backpack and pulling out his books. He shut his phone down so that it wouldn’t distract him while he was working, forgetting that he had yet to tell Shane where he was.

Negan nodded. “Alright, sounds good.” He turned to his computer, typing up a few emails to parents and teachers, keeping an eye on Carl the entire time. He hoped that this time was good for him and kept him away from his abuser for as much as it could. Perhaps his grades would improve too. He casted his glance over to him again. He had such the urge to buy this kid a pizza, or an entire buffet. Poor thing was so much skinnier than when he first met him. He frowned and went back to his computer.

Carl did his best to focus on his homework, but his mind kept wandering to his earlier conversation with Negan. Had he heard him almost say Shane’s name? Was he planning on reporting what he had been told? Carl briefly wondered if maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for Shane to get reported. But there were other factors that came into play, things that made Carl feel like the whole thing with Shane was his fault. That was part of the reason he hadn’t told anybody anything. 

After fifteen minutes of trying and failing to focus on his homework, Carl sighed softly and put his stuff to the side, rubbing his eye and yawning. He hadn’t slept well the night before and was exhausted now.

Negan perked up at the sound of Carl yawning and looked over to him. Kid looked dog-tired. “You can sleep on the futon if you want. I do sometimes,” he chuckled. “It’s pretty comfy. Pillows and blankets are in that trunk over there.” Negan pointed to the trunk at the foot of the futon. “Want me to wake you at any specific time or just when I’m about to leave? Also, I suppose I should have asked earlier, but are you going home on the after school activity bus or is someone picking you up?” It had completely slipped Negan’s mind to check on that. He was just excited that Carl had even shown up.

Carl got up, wincing in pain as he shifted a certain way. Shit. He hoped Negan didn’t notice that. “Um, the bus,” he said softly. “Could you wake me up like ten minutes before it leaves? And are you sure it’s okay that I sleep in here?” He didn’t know if Negan would get in any kind of trouble or anything, and he didn’t want that to happen.

“Yes, it’s fine. That’s what that futon is for,” Negan chuckled and set an alarm on his phone so he’d know when to wake Carl up. He noticed Carl wince, but he wasn’t sure why. He licked his bottom lip and jotted it down on Carl’s open file that was on his desk. “Sleep now. I’ll wake you.” He smiled fondly at Carl, hoping he could tell that Negan really did care about him and his well being and wasn’t ‘pitying’ him as he had spat at him weeks ago. He hummed and went back to his computer.

Carl nodded silently and shyly returned the smile with a small one of his own before grabbing a blanket and pillow from the trunk Negan had pointed out before. He kicked his shoes off and curled up on the futon, unable to hold back the pained whimper that escaped when he laid the wrong way and hurt his bruised chest.

Negan heard the pained noise come from Carl, but he didn’t mention it. Writing it down on his file, Negan started adding some more notes to it while he was at it. He wouldn’t tell Carl, but he was trying to figure out who his abuser was based on what Carl had told him, on purpose or not. So far he had that the abuser was a figure with power, obviously an adult, he wasn’t sure on gender yet though. Carl had let slip a “Sh-” at one point, and Negan didn’t know if that was part of “she” or part of a name. In most cases like this, the abuser was male but there’s always that one case that’s different.

He pondered over it, chewing the end of his pen and watching Carl sleep. After about ten minutes he realized that was kinda creepy and quickly looked away, going back to his computer.

An hour and a half later, Negan’s phone buzzed and he drank the last dregs of his coffee. He clicked the off button and looked over at the sleeping boy. Oh, how was he gonna wake him up. He didn’t want to touch him, that was a no no. “Psst, Carl. Carl, up and attem!” he called out, hoping it was enough to stir the boy.

Carl groaned as he woke up, slowly opening his eye and sitting up. He glanced at the clock before pulling his shoes on. He put the blanket and pillow away and gathered all his things together. Since he still had a few minutes before he had to get to the bus, he got out his phone and turned it back on. Immediately, he was flooded with notifications, all from texts, voicemails, and missed calls from Shane. As he read over the texts, pure panic filled him and his hands started to shake. Who knew what he’d be facing when he got home. Oh God, Shane seemed so pissed. Suddenly, Carl felt like he couldn’t breathe and he felt tears prick his eye.

Negan watched Carl put away the blanket and pillow, noting what good manners he had. Most kids that he let’s sleep in his office just leave the stuff there for him to clean up later. Negan started packing up his own stuff, not needing to stay any longer. When he looked up from putting his laptop in his bag, he saw Carl staring at his phone in shock. What had happened? He was fine two seconds ago. Negan stood slowly and came around his desk to stand about a foot away from Carl. “Carl? What’s wrong?” He didn’t reach out this time, afraid Carl would react like he had before, but god he just wanted to pull the boy into a hug.

Carl didn’t seem to hear him as he struggled to breathe, feeling like he was going to pass out or throw up at any moment. All he could think about was the last time he had pissed Shane off. Hell, he still had the marks. He sucked in huge breaths, feeling like he couldn’t get enough air and not even noticing he was crying.

Oh god, he was crying. “Carl, please listen to me. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Deep breaths. Carl, please,” Negan felt helpless not being able to physically help Carl. Panic attacks were the worst things he had to deal with in his job. “Carl, please, sit down, breathe.” He took a few steps closer, afraid that he was going to pass out and would need to be caught. The only thing Negan could guess that would set this off would be the abuser. Carl must have received some kind of message. Fuck, if Carl got in trouble because he stayed after with Negan, Negan was going to feel like a dick. 

“Oh God, he’s so mad. Oh God,” he sobbed, not even seeming to realize he was speaking. He was trembling violently, his phone having fallen from his grasp and now laying on the floor. He curled in on himself, sobs still wracking his body.

Negan wanted so badly to look at Carl’s phone that had dropped to the ground, but that was a breach in confidentiality and he couldn’t do it. Instead he kicked the phone lightly away, out of Carl’s eyesight (if he could still see through the tears anyway). “Carl, it’s okay. Whatever it is, let me help. I can fix this.” He didn’t know if Carl was ignoring him or just not hearing him, but all he had was his words at his disposal. “Carl, shh.” Fuck it. Negan kneeled down infront of Carl. “Carl, may I touch you?” He opened his arms, not hovering around Carl, but inviting the boy in if he so wished, if he could even hear him.

Carl scrambled back, putting as much distance between them as possible, though he didn’t seem to register that it was Negan in front of him. All he could think about was last time Shane got mad, and it was like he was reliving it. He closed his eye, practically hyperventilating as he flinched like he was being hit.

Fuck, Carl wasn’t hearing him at all. Negan watched the scene play out in front of him, waiting for the boy to tire himself out or pass out from lack of air. He felt like he was watching something he shouldn’t be and it was terrifying. No person, especially not a child or teen, should have to go through what Carl obviously had and still does. Negan sighed, sitting back on his heels. “Carl, please. I want to help. Carl, it’s Negan. Kid, calm down!”

Slowly, Carl started to calm down. He stopped crying and shaking, and tried to slow his breathing as he slowly opened his eye, looking a bit disoriented. His gaze landed on Negan. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Negan had seen him freak out. Fuck, Negan had probably seen his phone, probably knew who the texts were from, and was probably going to report it or something. He struggled to keep himself calm as a fresh wave of panic washed over him.

“Oh, thank Christ,” Negan whispered as Carl started to calm. He held his hands up, palms open in a ‘I surrender’ stance. “Hey, are you back with me? Can you hear me, Carl?” His eyebrows furrowed in concern and he cocked his head to the side. 

He nodded silently, still breathing hard as he tried to stay calm. Freaking out again wasn’t going to help anything. He clenched his fist, his nails biting into his palm, the slight pain giving him something to focus on. “I’m fine,” he murmured.

Negan snorted. “Carl, you are not fine,” he lowered his hands slowly, resting them on his knees. What a fantastic lie that was. He needed Carl to fully come back to himself before he could even think about questioning him though. “Are you gonna listen to me now? I’d like you to breathe in through your nose, take a deep breath and hold it, and then let out slowly through your mouth. Can you do that for me?” Negan did the breathing technique himself to show as an example. “In and out…”

Carl frowned but did as told, sucking in a breath before holding it and then slowly blowing it out. He repeated this a few times, until he felt he could breathe properly again, and his heart stopped racing. “I missed the bus,” he muttered absently.

Negan smiled when Carl listened to him and got his breathing back under control. It was amazing how such a little thing could affect so much. He snorted a small laugh when Carl spoke and nodded his head. “Yeah, ya did,” he ran his hand through his hair.

“Is there anyone you can call to come get you? Is there anyone you want  _ me _ to call?” Negan asked, but remembered that Carl’s phone was what started this whole ordeal. He looked over to where he had kicked it, reaching to pick it up. With the screen facing down, he held it out to Carl. “I did not look at this, by the way. Whatever you receive on here is your private information and I’m not at liberty to snoop through your phone.”

Carl gave Negan a long look, trying to figure out if he was lying. Eventually he sighed, deciding to trust that he was telling the truth. He took his phone back, resisting the urge to look at the screen, as he knew it’d just send him into a panic again, and slipped it into his pocket. He didn’t want to go home, not with an angry Shane waiting for him there. “Do I have to go home?” he asked quietly. He felt bad, like he was inconveniencing Negan, but he was just so scared.

Negan sighed and rubbed at his face, feeling the bristles of his short beard on his fingers. God, he didn’t want Carl to have to go home. Not after that. But it’s not like he could just take him to his home, right? That was very much against the rules… right?

“Do you have a friend you could stay the night with? A grandparent?” He bit at his bottom lip. Fuck it. If it was under the intent of helping a student, he could at least argue his case. “Do… do you want to come to my house?” 

Carl was silent, thinking, deciding if he could trust Negan. He supposed he could, Negan had been nothing but nice to him. Hesitantly, he nodded. “I just...” He shook his head. “I can’t go back. Not now,” he mumbled.

“It’s alright, Carl. You’ve done nothing wrong,” Negan felt his shoulders relax at Carl’s nod. He needed him to verbally confirm that he wanted to go with Negan though, or Negan would be so paranoid. “I just want to be clear, you are saying yes to coming to my house, right? I’m gonna need a spoken answer here. It’s not necessarily an... encouraged thing for staff to take students home with them, as you could guess, so I need to know it’s your decision.” 

“Y-yeah, I’ll go to your house,” he said softly, swallowing hard as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He met Negan’s gaze for a moment before quickly glancing away. He slowly stood up, grabbing his bag.

“Alright,” Negan nodded and stood. He collected his own bag, quickly filing away a few folders, and shoved his phone into his pocket. He could feel his own hands start to shake. What was he doing? He was going to get caught and lose his job. No one would ever trust him again. As he grabbed his leather jacket off the back of his chair and slipped it on, he took a deep breath in and held it. It was fine. He was helping a student. This was fine.

“Okay, ready? Got everything? Follow me,” he held the door open for Carl, turning off the light and locking it once they both left. Luckily, there really wasn’t anyone left in the building. Any students had left on the after school activity bus, and if a teacher was here they were in their room. Janitors moved silently through the hallways, not paying any mind to the duo.

“I’m parked in the faculty lot on the other side of the school,” Negan explained to Carl as they walked, trying to fill the air. “It’s close to every other office except mine. It’s like they want me to get exercise or something.” He chuckled nervously. 

Carl smiled weakly, lost in thought. What if Negan got in trouble for this? He should just have Shane come pick him, but just the thought of it made him scared. His phone buzzed again and he quickly turned it off, trying to keep away the panic-filled thoughts that threatened to consume him.

Walking out of the school had been easy enough, Negan’s paranoia calming once they were in the parking lot. There were only a handful of cars left so it was easy to spot his. “I’m over here,” he pointed at a shiny black Impala in the middle of the lot. It was a nice car, obviously well taken care of.

When they reached it, Negan unlocked the doors and climbed in first, swiftly clearing away some books and papers and gas station coffee cups that were in the passenger seat, chucking it all to the back. 

Carl settled into the passenger seat, gently setting his bag on the floor at his feet. “I like your car,” he complimented quietly, folding his hands in his lap and glancing out the window. “I’m sorry for freaking out in your office. I just...”

Negan smiled as he started the car. “Thanks, and don’t worry about it,” he clicked his seatbelt on. “You’re not the first and won’t be the last.” He shrugged. It came with the job. “Seatbelt, please,” Negan nodded towards Carl while he fiddled with the radio. Once he found a station he liked, he let it play at a volume loud enough to hear over the purr of the car but not too loud that he wouldn’t be able to hear Carl talk. He looked over at the boy. “If at any point you want to go home, tell me, okay? Don’t feel like you  _ have _ to stay with me.”

Carl buckled himself in and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell you,” he murmured. “You won’t get in trouble, will you? Maybe it’d be a better idea for me to just go home,” he said softly, voicing his thoughts.

Negan shook his head and said more confidently than he felt, “No, I won’t get in trouble.” No one had seen them and Carl didn’t seem the type to gossip to other kids, so there was no worry there. 

Once Carl was buckled, Negan backed out and headed towards his house. “I don’t live that far. About ten minutes. Why don’t you just take a breather there and we’ll figure out where to go after that,” he said, tapping his fingers on the wheel to the beat of the song playing. He glanced at Carl, hoping he didn’t sound too forceful. Negan just really didn’t want Carl to have to deal with his home life if it was bad enough to send him into such a huge panic attack. 

The roads were mainly empty, everyone already home from work or on the highways. The sun was working its way below the horizon, casting orange light and long shadows. The clock on the dash read 5:26PM. Negan hummed along to the radio. 

Carl sighed softly and nodded, looking out the window to watch everything fly by. His parents should be home by eight, and Shane wouldn’t dare do anything while his parents are there. Would he? Would Negan even let him stay that long? He nervously tapped his fingers on his thigh, focusing on the music to quiet his mind. He had to admit that Negan had good music taste.

Negan let the radio fill the car instead of him during the drive. He wanted to talk to Carl, but he frankly didn’t know what to say.

Pulling into his driveway not ten minutes later, Negan parked and shut the car off. “Here we are!” His house was a simple one story ranch style. Nothing was special about it. Clean cut lawn, a small flower garden out front, just the usual middle class house. Negan got out of the car, locking it when Carl did too, and started fiddling with his keys till he found the right one. He waved Carl to follow him as he made his way to the front door.

“Oh!” He stopped, key in the lock but not turned. “I hope you’re not allergic to cats. I’ve only got one but she’s very friendly.” He gave a ‘oops’ kind of a smile before turning the key and opening the door. “Well, make yourself at home.”

Carl tentatively walked in, glancing around curiously. He smiled slightly as Negan’s cat approached, and knelt down to pet her. She nuzzled his hand, purring contentedly. He seemed to relax a bit more as he interacted with the cat. After a moment, he stood back up and walked into the living room, sitting on the edge of the couch and putting his bag at his feet.

Negan set his bag down by the door and hung his jacket in the closet, smiling at Carl petting his cat. Negan scooped her up, her jet black fur soft and shiny, and followed Carl into the living room. “This is Lucille,” he said, nuzzling his bearded cheek on the top of her head. She purred and nuzzled back. “She is awesome.” He grinned, placing her down next to Carl on the couch and then sitting down himself on the other side. 

“You’re welcome here as long as you like, Carl,” he said. “But is there anyone you want me to call? Hell, I’m sure someone is going to be worried when you don't come home?” Negan didn’t even realize he was slipping out of his school speech mode and moving into more casual. He rubbed at Lucille’s ears as he looked at the boy.

Carl curled up, pulling his legs to his chest. “My parents won’t be home until eight, so they won’t even know I was gone.” He avoided mentioning the fact that Shane was waiting for him. He didn’t want to think about it. His stomach suddenly growled and he frowned, glancing away, hoping Negan hadn’t noticed.

Negan noticed. “Alright then.” He had a feeling  _ someone _ had noticed Carl’s absence. Wasn’t a parent though.

Hmm.

“Well, I don’t know about you, kid, but I could use some dinner. You like spaghetti? I know a great sauce recipe!” He stood and made his way to the doorway that separated the living room from the kitchen. “I’ve got a pretty good biscuit recipe too, if you wanna help me make ‘em?” He shrugged. “Up to you.”

Carl yawned as he stood up, ready to follow him into the kitchen. “I’ll help you, but I’m not really hungry,” he lied, shrugging his shoulders. He might’ve physically felt hungry, but he didn’t really  _ want _ to eat, especially after his meltdown in Negan’s office. He pulled off his hoodie and dropped it on the couch, not thinking about the bruise on his left bicep that looked just a bit like a hand.

The bruise contrasted against Carl’s pale skin which drew Negan’s eyes right towards it. He quickly averted his gaze and tightened his smile, instead motioning for Carl to follow him into the kitchen. “Oh, you say that now, but just wait. Your mouth will be watterin’ as soon as you smell it.”

Negan toed his shoes off, putting them by the door leading from the kitchen to the back yard, before reaching into a cabinet and pulling out a recipe binder. He licked his finger and started flipping through the pages. “Have you ever baked before? Know how to follow a recipe? You're gonna be in charge of makin’ these biscuits from scratch,” he stopped on the biscuit page, opening the rings and pulling it from the binder. Placing the binder down, he held out the recipe to Carl, eyes flicking to the bruise for two seconds before back up to his face. “You got this?”

Carl didn’t seem to notice Negan glancing at the bruise, busy looking over the recipe that he had taken from him. “Yeah, it doesn’t look too hard,” he said with a shrug. “You’re gonna have to tell me where everything is, though.” He absently tucked his hair behind his ear as some of it fell in his face. He glanced up at Negan expectantly, waiting for him to tell him where everything was.

“Of course,” Negan nodded, finding his eyes following Carl’s fingers as they tucked his hair. It was so… cute. He mentally shook himself and turned around, reaching up to open one of the cabinets on the wall. “Mixing bowls and such are in here.” Negan pointed to the pantry across the room. “All the dry ingredients you need should be in there. Wet stuff is in the fridge of course, and here…” He opened a drawer on the counter. “You’ll find measuring tools. You can use the table to work. I’m gonna use up a bit of counter space for a bit.” 

Negan walked over to the dining room table that was at one end of the kitchen and quickly moved some piles of paper and books off to one side. As he did so, Lucile jumped up on the table and meowed at him. “Hey now, psst, you know better,” Negan snapped his fingers at her and she jumped into a chair that was at the table, her eyes peeking over. Negan rolled her eyes, turning back to Carl. “I’m gonna get started on the pasta,” he grinned. 

“Alright,” Carl hummed, looking the recipe over for another minute before starting to get out everything he needed. It didn’t take long for him to get lost in the task, he even started to hum quietly as he worked. He seemed to always be tense, but now he seemed relaxed, happy to have something to focus his energy on. Usually he tried to lose himself in schoolwork, escaping his thoughts for a little while, but that never held his focus as well as a physical, hands on activity did.

Negan got to work dicing tomatoes and mincing garlic, throwing everything into a large pot on medium heat. He’d made this sauce so many times, he barely had to think about it, which allowed him to half watch Carl as he worked. He seemed to be enjoying himself which made Negan happy. He wasn’t sure that the kid was actually going to help him make food or not, but he was glad he agreed to it.

Distracted by listening to Carl hum, Negan didn’t realize the sauce he’d been stirring had started to bubble up as much as it had and he flinched when he felt a spark of heat on his hand. “Ah, fuck…” he whispered harshly, turning the heat down on the stove. The sleeve of his shirt and a bit near his hip was covered in sauce splatters and he sighed. “I’ll be right back, Carl. Two shakes,” he said before moving to his bed room down the hall. 

Carl nodded absently, focusing on what he was doing. Soon enough, he was ready to put the biscuits in the oven, which he had already preheated. He didn’t think to grab oven mitts, instead just sliding the tray inside. He was still a bit distracted, absently trying to remember the lyrics to a song, and so he wasn’t paying much attention to where his hands were. A burning pain on the back of his hand shocked him out of his thoughts and he yelped loudly in surprise and pain as he yanked his hand back and stepped back from the oven, quickly shutting it.

Negan had changed his button up shirt with a regular black cotton t-shirt, and his nice slacks for a pair of soft jeans. He figured he might get more sauce on himself by accident, might as well wear black. He was adjusting the bandage on his left forearm when he heard a shout from Carl and the  _ thud _ of the oven shutting. “What the-?” Negan rushed back to the kitchen, assessing the scene before him. “What happened?” he asked, coming closer to Carl.

Carl was running his hand under cold water, but there was already a welt there, and it hurt badly. “I burnt myself putting the biscuits in the oven,” he explained, glancing over at him. He silently decided that Negan looked better in casual clothes, it was just more...him.

Negan frowned and moved closer to look at Carl’s hand and examine the burn. It was bad but not too bad. Probably hurt like hell. “I’ve got some burn gel in a first aid kit back in the bathroom. Follow me, let me wrap it up.” He motioned for Carl to follow him, moving down the hall to the bathroom, not even looking to see if Carl was following. He was on a ‘I-need-to-heal-this-boy’ autopilot.

Carl followed him to the bathroom and sat down on top of the toilet while he waited for Negan to find the first aid kit. 

Negan shifted through his medicine cabinet, humming when he couldn’t find the first aid box. He dropped down and looked in the cabinet under the sink. “Aha!” He placed it on the sink and began looking for the burn gel.

“Are you married?” Carl suddenly asked, curiosity obvious in his tone. He would’ve thought that Negan’s wife or maybe girlfriend or hell, even boyfriend, Carl wasn’t gonna judge, would be home by now.

Negan paused in his search through the box at the question. He glanced over to Carl and then back into the box, picking up a large band aid and setting it to the side. “I was,” he said softly.  Carl frowned slightly, looking at him curiously. He wondered what happened, but knew it’d be rude to pry.

Shifting a few more things in the box, Negan finally found the burn gel. He turned and knelt down in front of Carl, putting his hand out to ask for Carl’s. “May I?” he asked, not sure if Carl was going to let him touch him or not.

Carl hesitated for a moment, then held his hand out, lightly setting it in Negan’s palm and waited for him to bandage the burn up.

Negan had fireworks going off in his head as Carl placed his hand in his. He felt like he had finally jumped a trust hurdle that he’d been trying to get over for weeks. He popped the cap off the gel with his teeth and held the bottle over Carl’s hand. “This is gonna sting a little at first, but then it’s gonna cool it down. Trust me.” He waited a beat to give Carl the chance to brace himself before squirting a sizeable dab onto Carl’s burn. He set the bottle down, and ever so softly spread the gel over the burn with his pointer finger.

He knew he had given Carl a short answer earlier. He could feel the curiosity rolling off of the boy. He supposed he could explain a bit more. Carl had opened up to him, the most Negan could do was return the favor. So, as he spread the gel he said, “She died. My wife. Cancer.”

Carl winced at first from the gel, then settled, distracted by what Negan said. “Really? I’m sorry, that must’ve been terrible,” he murmured. He was curious about this now dead wife, but he wasn’t going to ask anything else, it was probably painful for Negan to talk about. “How long ago?” Okay,  _ now _ he wasn’t gonna ask anything else.

Negan shrugged, trying to pull off nonchalant, but he knew he couldn’t hide the pain swimming in his eyes. So he avoided eye contact, focused on Carl’s hand. “A couple of years,” he said, swallowing back the emotions he tried so hard to keep a lid on.

Satisfied with the coverage of the gel, Negan reached up and grabbed the large band aid off the counter. He held one side with one hand and pulled the other side with his teeth, not wanting to drop Carl’s hand. Luckily it was one of those bandages that didn’t have those little wax paper tabs on it so as soon as it was open, it was sticky. Negan stuck his tongue out as he focused on placing the bandage in a way that it covered as much of the burn as possible, finally sticking it on. He sandwiched Carl’s hand between the both of his, softly pressing down, before releasing it. He cleared his throat, still a bit on edge from talking about his wife. “There ya go, kid. Try to be more careful, yeah?”

Carl nodded. “Thank you for telling me about your wife,” he said softly. He could tell it was something Negan didn’t really talk about much. He found himself wanting to know more about Negan, since he seemed like an interesting person. He looked at him curiously for a moment, allowing his thoughts to wander, before he shook his head, coming back to himself. 

Negan stood and rearranged the stuff in the kit so it’d close again. He nodded and flicked a glance to Carl. “Thank you for listening,” he said quietly. The urge to reach out and playfully ruffle Carl’s hair in order to lighten the mood raced through Negan, but he held back. Putting the kit away, he gestured towards the kitchen. “Come on, let’s go check the biscuits.”

Carl sighed and stood up from the toilet, leading the way back to the kitchen. Negan grabbed the oven mitts and gestured for Carl to stand back. He had a snarky remark about how ‘oven mitts are what people use to protect their hands’ on the tip of his tongue, but he swallowed it. Negan didn’t think the kid was open enough to understand his brand of humor just yet.

The whole ordeal only took about ten minutes, but biscuits cook fast. Negan popped the oven open and slid the tray out, the smell of warm biscuits filling the air. The tops weren’t quite golden brown yet and the middles looked a bit raw, so Negan put them back in, setting a timer for 5 minutes. “They’re looking good. You did a great job,” he said with a smile. “Will you get me that box of spaghetti in the pantry?” Negan pointed towards the box as he began filling a pot of water and setting it next to his sauce pot on the stove.

Carl smiled softly at the praise. “Yeah, I’ll grab it.” He walked over to the pantry and reached up, having to go on his tiptoes. He wasn’t exactly short, but he still had to stretch to get it. Once he had grabbed it he came back over and set it on the counter in front of Negan. Lucille had managed to hop up onto the counter, and she meowed at Carl, purring contentedly as he started to pet her. He gently scooped her up and stepped out of Negan’s way. He settled on the floor, his legs crossed with the cat in his lap.

“Thank you,” Negan said opening the box but not pouring it in yet as the water wasn’t boiling. He stirred the sauce a bit, turning the heat back up. The smell of tomatoes and garlic wafted through the air. Negan lifted the spoon to his lips and tasted a bit. “Oh damn, that is good!” He praised himself throwing a grin back at Carl. When Negan found him on the floor playing with Lucille, his heart melted. God, that was cute.

Carl watched Negan as he cooked, still absently petting the cat, but getting distracted by the man. While they were at school, Negan seemed like a different person. He liked him better when he was here, relaxed. He seemed more himself. 

The timer went off for the biscuits as Negan was pouring the spaghetti into the water. Negan was going to ask Carl if he wanted to try to get them but as he had a cat in his lap and a burn on his hand, Negan figured he’d just get them. Sliding the tray out with oven mitted hands, he set it down over top the sink to cool. The biscuits were perfectly fluffy and golden brown on top. “These are perfect, Carl. Fantastic.”

Carl looked up at him when he spoke of the biscuits and smiled widely, seeming to be more relaxed than Negan had ever seen him. “They do smell good,” he agreed, his stomach growling again. “Sorry I burned myself before. I should’ve been paying attention.”

Lucille purred away as Carl pet her, bumping his chin with her head to show affection. Negan moved back over to stir the noodles. “You’re fine. Shit happens. Lord knows I’ve burnt myself cooking more times than I care to remember,” he chuckled. “Accidents happen.” His gaze flickered to the bandage wrapped around his own left forearm.

“Is that what happened to your arm? You burned it?” Carl questioned, his eyes on the bandage on Negan’s forearm.

Negan shook his head, running his fingers over the bandage. "No," he said softly. "That was a... different kind of accident." He jerked his hand away from his arm. Wow, he was just in a sharing mood that day. Granted, he didn't really have people over much, so this was the first time anyone had really asked him questions. Usually, it was the other way around.

Carl frowned slightly but decided not to press. He hadn’t been completely honest either, so he couldn’t expect Negan to just pour out his heart and soul. 

Turning off the heat of the sauce, Negan opened the cabinet above him and pulled down two plates and two cups. He set them on the counter next to the stove. “Alright, spaghetti is almost done. Will you grab some forks from that drawer there and put the biscuits in the bowl that’s in that cabinet there?” Negan asked, pointing. “Also, what would you like to drink? I’ve got water, milk, or lemonade.”

Carl got up, gently removing Lucille from his lap and walking over to the drawer, grabbing two forks and placing one on each plate. Then he grabbed the bowl and transferred the warm biscuits from the tray to the bowl. “Um, just water please,” he answered softly.

Negan nodded and filled one cup with water and the other with lemonade, setting the lemonade down at the head of the table and the water to the seat to the left. Then he moved back to the noodles, stirring them before scooping one up and popping it into his mouth. Done! “Alright, go have a seat, take the biscuits with ya. I’ll get you your plate,” he said, putting a colander into the sink and dumping the noodles out into it.

Carl did as he was told and settled into the seat to the left, absently fiddling with his fork, his eyes focused on his plate.

Dumping the noodles back into the empty pot, Negan added a pat of butter and mixed it in as it melted. He grabbed two trivets and placed them each on the table before going back two more times to get the pot of noodles and the pot of sauce separately. He placed the pots on the trivets. “Now, careful. The pots are still hot. Don’t burn yourself,” he said while scooping out noodles onto Carl’s plate. He made sure to fill the whole plate. Smirking, he shot a wink at the kid, hoping his joke went okay. He scooped some noodles onto his own plate before ladeling a healthy amount of sauce on top. “I’ll let you get your own sauce. I know some people don’t care for a lot, so get whatever you want.”

Carl flashed a weak smile, then glanced at his plate with a slight frown. He wasn’t sure he could eat all that. He ladled a bit of sauce on his noodles, slowly mixing it in. At first, he didn’t eat at all, just shoving his food around his plate.

Eventually, though, the smell got to him and he brought a small forkful of noodles to his mouth and chewed slowly, seeming to savor the taste. He hadn’t really acknowledged it before, but he was beyond hungry since he hadn’t eaten anything yet that day. He never had time for breakfast, and he just hadn’t bothered with lunch. He suddenly dug in, though he was still making sure to eat neatly and not get sauce all over his face.

Negan didn’t comment as Carl pushed his food around. He knew the effects of stress and abuse could curb even the most starving appetite. He was just happy to let Carl know that he would provide him with food if he wanted it. When Carl started eating though, he felt a layer of stress slip away. Oh, thank god.

He reached for a biscuit, breaking it in half and dipping it into his sauce-covered noodles. Taking a bite, he groaned in pleasure. “Kid, I don’t know how you did it, but I think you make these better than I do.” He laughed. “I’m gonna have to hire you to make me biscuits every time I have spaghetti.”

Carl ganced up at him and smiled, a quiet chuckle leaving his lips at the joke. He decided to see for himself, grabbing a biscuit and taking a bite. “They are pretty good,” he admitted quietly. “So is the spaghetti, by the way.” He continued to eat, forcing himself to eat slower so he wouldn’t overstuff himself and get sick.

Negan smiled at Carl. “Thanks. I try.” He was such a sweet and polite kid. The fact that someone couldn’t see that, or abused that fact, made Negan sick to his stomach. If he ever learned who it was that was treating Carl badly, Negan would need to be held back from beating the man himself.

Carl’s plate still had food on it, even once he felt full. He frowned slightly, not wanting to waste food. “What should I do with this?” he asked softly, gesturing to his plate.

Negan was snapped out of his thoughts when Carl spoke again. “Oh,” he stood and retrieved a Tupperware container and lid from a cabinet, setting it next to Carl as he sat back down. “Here, go ahead and pack it up, any extra you want too. Take it home with you.”

Carl nodded. “Thank you,” he murmured as he grabbed it. He scooped up the remaining spaghetti and placed it in the container before closing it. He drank his water and stood, plate and fork in one hand and his cup in the other.

While turning to walk to the sink, he accidentally tripped over the leg of his chair. The plate flew from his loose grip, landing on the ground and breaking. He glanced at Negan with a scared look, quickly apologizing.

As the plate crashed, Lucille yowled in surprise from her place under the table and Negan flinched. The look of fear that was on Carl’s face broke his heart much more than the plate. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Careful now, I don’t want you to step on any sharp bits.” Negan rose from his spot, crouching down by the broken plate, using his own now empty plate to place the bigger pieces onto. He dumped those pieces into the trash and stepped gingerly over the rest of the plate to place his in the sink. He pulled a broom out from next to the fridge and began sweeping up the smaller pieces. “These things happen. It’s fine. You’re not hurt at all are you?”

Carl silently shook his head, standing by the table while Negan cleaned up. He had seemed to lock up again, the tension back and he was clearly on edge. “I’m sorry,” he repeated softly.

Negan frowned, his eyebrows cinching. Whether it was the noise or the act, something had triggered the boy. He swiftly swept the rest of the plate into the dustpan and emptied it into the trash, setting the broom back where it went before approaching Carl slowly. “Carl, it’s okay. I’m not angry.” He knelt down on one knee in front of him to be more his eye level, or even a little under it. “Carl, look at my face. I’m not mad.” God, Negan hoped he was hearing him and wasn’t canceling him out like he had earlier.

Carl nodded, meeting his gaze for a moment before glancing away. “I should be getting home,” he murmured, absently fiddling with the hem of his shirt. “My parents are probably back by now, they’ll be wondering where I am.”

Negan glanced at the clock. It wasn’t eight yet, but it was close. He studied the boy for a minute more before nodding and standing. “Of course,” he sighed. At least Carl hadn’t gone into a full panic attack like earlier. God, when Negan got back home he needed a beer. “Let me grab my shoes and keys. Don’t forget your leftovers.” He pointed to the Tupperware on the table. Lucille mewed as she crawled out from under the table, now that the commotion had died down, and rubbed along Carl’s legs, purring. Negan smiled at the sight, glad that she had taken to him so well.

Carl nodded again, gently scooping the cat up once more the pet her. He only held her for a moment though, since he had to get his things together. Once he put her down, he went and slipped his hoodie back on before slinging his bag over his shoulder.

Negan silently picked up the leftovers Carl had not grabbed on the way out, handing them to him when he got in the car. He gave him a small smile. “I need to know where you live,” he said, starting the car.

Carl gently took the container, smiling slightly in return. He gave him his address and stared out the window as he started to drive, absently tapping his fingers against his thigh, hugging his bag to his chest.

The only sounds in the car were the radio softly playing classic rock tunes and Negan’s GPS on his phone telling him where to turn. Carl didn’t live particularly far, on the school bus route for sure, but it was still in a neighborhood Negan had never been to.  _ Well, the evening could have gone better _ , Negan thought,  _ but it wasn’t a total disaster _ . He hoped that the time Carl spent with him helped him stay away from his abuser for at least a couple hours. Letting Carl into his space was really the least he could do for him.

His GPS chimed as they reached the house.

Carl tensed up, not seeing his mom or dad’s car in the driveway. He wanted to ask if maybe they could just drive around or something until they got home, but he felt like he’d been enough of a burden already. “Um, th-thanks for t-today,” he said softly, getting out of the car. “I’m s-sorry again.”

Negan knew something wasn’t right. There were no cars and no lights on, and suddenly Carl was jittery. He wondered if he had given him the right address. “Hey, no problem. Thank  _ you _ for making some great biscuits. But, um, Carl… Do you want me to walk you to the door?” He licked at his bottom lip in nervousness.

Carl quickly shook his head, eyes wide and scared. “No, no. J-just go,” he said, not meaning to be rude. “I’m f-fine, you can just g-go.” He walked up to his porch but paused and looked back at Negan, clearly waiting for him to drive off.

Negan didn’t like that one bit, but there wasn’t much else he could do. He waited to see if Carl would go inside with him sitting there, but it was obvious he wouldn’t. So, Negan waved and drove away slowly, watching the boy in the rearview mirror until he disappeared from sight. He shook his head. He definitely needed a beer.

Carl watched him pull off, then grabbed the extra key that was hidden in a flowerpot. He slowly opened the door, flicking the light on. He was still tensed, but the fact that there were no lights on him made him think that hopefully, Shane had gone home. That small bit of relief didn’t last long, as Shane got up from the couch and walked over to him, looking pissed. He backed up, his back pressed against the door. “W-won’t Dad be h-home soon?” he asked, trying to appeal to Shane’s sense of reason, knowing he didn’t want to get caught. Carl had just remembered that his mom was working an overnight shift, but his Dad wasn’t.

“Nope. He picked up an extra shift. Now, you wanna tell me where the fuck you were?” he growled, pressing himself against Carl, effectively pinning him to the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl spends the night at Negan's and learns a secret about his counselor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

It had been a few days since Carl had seen Negan, but once school had ended on Friday, he came and knocked on his door.

Negan looked up from where he was pouring himself a cup of coffee. Who could that be? He didn’t have any after school appointments that he could think of. Walking to the door, he opened it and gasped. “Oh, Carl! Hello, hello. Please come in, make yourself at home. How have you been?” He gestured for Carl to come in with the hand holding his mug of coffee. “I just made coffee. It’s over there if you want some. Mugs in the drawer underneath it.” Had he told him this before? Negan wasn’t sure, he was just excited to see Carl.

Carl sat in his usual spot on the couch, immediately pulling out his phone and texting Shane, telling him he had tutoring again today. Then he shut his phone off and slipped it back into his backpack. "I've been fine," he answered quietly, keeping his gaze focused on the ground. "Though I was out of school sick the other day." That was a complete lie, he had been out of school because of how much Shane had hurt him, and he had just faked sick so his parents would let him stay home in bed. He only mentioned it to Negan because he knew that Negan could access his attendance record, and he figured if he just said something now, Negan wouldn't get suspicious and ask him about it later.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I hope you’re feeling better now,” Out sick his ass. Negan had heard every form of that lie during his time as a counselor, but he let it slide for now taking a sip of his coffee and closing his door. He made his way back to the chair behind his desk.

"I don't really like coffee," Carl said with a shrug, in response to Negan's offer. "How are you?" he asked politely.

“I’m doing alright. I was worried about you though.” He set down his coffee and leaned forwards. “When I dropped you off the other evening, it really didn’t look like anyone was home and I didn’t like that…” he paused but continued before Carl could have the chance to speak. “But, I’m glad to see you’re alright!” He smiled at Carl. “Have you brought homework to do today, or did you want to talk? Or sleep? Anything is fine with me!”

Carl reached up and idly adjusted his bandages. “Um, I guess I’ll just do homework,” he murmured with a slight shrug, biting his lip to hold back a pained noise. His ribs were aching terribly, and moving even a little bit caused pain to shoot through his body. When he bent slightly to dig through his backpack for a pencil, he let out a pained gasp, tears springing into his eye.

Negan looked up at the gasp, his cup of coffee held halfway to his mouth. That didn’t sound good at all. He set the mug down gently, cocking his head to the side. “Are you alright, Carl?” he asked, leaning forward trying to see the boy better over his desk. 

“I-I’m f-fine,” he got out, though the whimper that left him when he sat up again said otherwise. He scrambled to find an excuse, but nothing came to him. He glanced up at Negan and took a shaky breath as he tried not to move. Even when he sat still, there was an ache in his ribs.

Negan frowned and stood up, walking around his desk to sit next to Carl on the couch. “Carl, please, it’s obvious you’re not fine,” he stated straightforwardly. He wanted to help him so badly but there was such a fine line between helping and scaring him off. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but…” Negan took in a deep breath. He could see the way Carl was holding himself and the obvious moment causing him discomfort. “Can you show me?”

Carl looked at him for a moment, searching his face. Eventually, he stood, his fingers nervously fiddling with the hem of his shirt for a second before he slowly pulled it up, groaning softly in pain. Dark bruises littered his chest, which Carl looked down at before glancing at Negan and just as quickly looking away again.

Negan’s hand flew to cover his mouth. Oh god. It was so much worse than he had imagined. How anyone could do something like this to another person was so beyond him, and yet the rage he felt at whoever did this was enough for him to want to beat the abuser’s face in.

Carl dropped his shirt quickly at the look on Negan’s face. He stared at the ground, his face red with shame. Whenever he got hurt like this, it made him feel ridiculously weak, like he doesn’t do enough to fight against Shane. He worried that Negan thought he was weak too. 

Negan could feel his eyes grow hazy with tears as he examined Carl’s body. He quickly sniffed and blinked them away, dropping his hand and nodding. “Thank you,” he said, voice thick. He cleared his throat. “Does- does anyone else know about this?” he asked while getting up and moving around to the back of his desk. He opened his lunchbox that he had brought that day and pulled out the still cold ice-pack. Coming back around to his spot on the couch, he held it out to Carl. 

Carl glanced up at Negan’s words. “Um, n-no one, w-why?” He gently took the ice pack, lightly pressing it against the spot on his chest that hurt the most, sighing softly.

Negan nodded and smiled tightly. He felt honored that Carl trusted him with this information, but he was unsure what to do with it now. His training told him to call the parents, but from what Carl told him about the abuser, it might make things worse. “I’m just… I’m glad you showed me. Thank you. Please, let me know if there is anything I can do to help.” He looked at Carl’s face, trying to maintain any kind of eye contact with him. “You know Carl, you are very brave. Some kids in your position would not make it this far, sadly. But,  _ you’re _ strong, I can tell, and so very brave.”

Carl let out a soft groan as he got more comfortable on the couch. “If I was strong he wouldn’t be able to hurt me,” he muttered, not meaning for Negan to hear.

Negan’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s bullshit,” he scoffed. “Strength comes in many forms, and it’s most definitely not always brute force. Carl, people like  _ him _ are the weakest people in our world. Why else would they choose  _ children _ to push around?” Negan huffed. He was getting too heated about this right now.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking up at Carl. “Just because you can’t push back doesn’t mean you’re not strong. You chose to come here and talk to me. That takes strength a lot of kids don’t have. Carl, you’ve taken a lot of hard shit that life has thrown at you,” he gestured to Carl’s chest and then to his eye. “And you’re still breathing. You still wake up every day and go through the motions.  _ That _ is real strength.”

Carl gave him a disbelieving look, maintaining eye contact for a second, then looking away again. “Whatever,” he muttered, grabbing his homework and silently starting to work on it.

…

Time flew by, and soon enough, it was time for Carl to hop on the late bus and head home. He stood as carefully as he could, though pain still flashed across his face, and handed Negan the now melted ice pack before grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

Negan wasn’t personally happy with the silent treatment he got from Carl for the rest of the time, but he understood. He just hoped his words sunk in and had some kind of impact. He took the ice pack from Carl and kneaded it in his hands. He didn’t rise from behind his desk as Carl got ready to leave. “You got everything? You know which bus to take?”

Carl nodded and opened his mouth, seeming like he was about to say something. He wanted to ask to go with Negan again. Maybe it was just because it was a place Shane had never been before and couldn’t find him at, but Carl had felt more relaxed at Negan’s than he had in a while.

Negan noticed Carl’s hesitation. Was he going to ask something? Negan’s eyes flicked to the clock on the wall. “If you don’t hurry you’ll miss... the bus.” Oh. Maybe that was it. Negan couldn’t help the small smirk that graced his face. He tapped his fingers against his empty mug. “You know, I was thinking about ordering pizza for dinner,” he said, nonchalantly. “What’s your favorite pizza topping?”

A small, shy smile appeared on Carl’s lips. “Are you sure?” he asked softly. He hadn’t wanted to bother Negan, fearing he already had. But, since Negan was offering… well, he wasn’t about to refuse.

Negan grinned and shut his laptop. He kept telling himself it was just to keep Carl from getting more hurt, which it was, but he knew he also just loved spending time with him. “As long as it’s alright with you, it’s alright with me,” he said, standing and packing up his laptop. He shouldered his bag and went to put some loose files away, asking Carl over his shoulder, “Do you need to inform anyone that you’ll be home later?”

Carl frowned slightly and nodded, digging his phone out of his bag. He turned it on and quickly texted Shane, telling him that he was going over to a friend’s house to work on a project, which was a total lie. Then he stuffed his phone in his pocket again and looked up at Negan. “I’m ready to go,” he murmured.

Negan got his leather jacket from behind his chair, slipping it on, before leading the way out of the room, locking the door behind them. He was parked in the same place as he always was, so he gestured for Carl to follow and made their way towards the parking lot. “So, pizza toppings? Your favorite?” He bounced his eyebrows at Carl. “I like mushrooms myself.”

Carl hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I actually haven’t had pizza in a while… but I like pepperoni,” he said with a soft smile. “How long have you had this car?” he asked as they reached Negan’s car. “It really is beautiful.”

“Thanks!” Negan patted the hood of his car before unlocking it and getting in. “I’ve had her for about ten years now. She’s a great car,” he moved his bag to the back and then clicked his seat belt on, waiting for Carl to put his on as well. He started the car and adjusted the radio station. “You got your driver's license yet?” he asked. 

Carl shook his head as he buckled himself, not offering any further information. Shane was supposed to be teaching him how to drive, but… that’s not usually what he did when they were alone. In fact, he’d only had one actual lesson, so yeah, it’s safe to say he probably wouldn’t get his license for a while.

Negan nodded, backing out of his parking space and heading towards his house. “Well, that’s alright. I didn’t get my license till I was 20 and going to college.” He shrugged. “If you promise not to crash her, maybe I’ll let you drive my car, hm?” He winked at Carl, tapping his fingers on the wheel to the song playing over the radio. 

Carl couldn’t help the small grin that appeared on his face. “Really? That’d be awesome,” he said softly. He’d only been in the car twice, but he already loved it. He liked the purr of the engine, and, if he were honest with himself, he liked looking at Negan while he drove. He liked looking at Negan in general, though he had yet to admit that to himself.

“Sure, kid,” Negan said with a smile. Negan felt like he’d do anything to see that grin on Carl’s face. Even if that meant putting his precious baby into the hands of a teenager.

They pulled into his driveway not too long after. Negan got out, grabbing his bag, and made his way to the front door, unlocking it and holding the door open for Carl. “Make yourself at home!”

Carl walked in, plopping on the couch and wincing. Lucille jumped into his lap almost immediately, clearly seeking attention as she butted her head against his hand. He smiled and pet her contentedly, his smile widening as she settled and curled up in his lap. “Ya know, it seems like your cat likes me a whole lot more than she likes you,” he joked softly, glancing up at Negan with a grin.

Negan snorted a laugh watching the scene before him with fondness. “She always did have good taste,” he said with a sad smile. He walked to the duo and rubbed at one of Lucille’s ears before walking back towards the entryway to the main hall. “Hey, I’m gonna change clothes real fast and then order the pizza, cool?”

Carl nodded absently, thinking about what that sad smile meant. Oh. It probably had to do with his wife. Maybe the cat had been hers or at least been close to her. He sighed softly and continued to pet her, waiting for Negan to come back.

Negan quickly changed in his room, shedding his nice work clothes for a more casual white T-shirt and jeans. He just hated how confined he felt in the dress shirts and slacks. Once done, he made his way to the kitchen, shooting a finger gun at Carl as he passed through the living room. “Pepperoni, right?” he called out, looking for the number of the pizza place on his list of takeout he had on the fridge. He found it with an “A ha!” and pulled his phone out of his pocket to dial. 

Carl nodded and glanced around the living room. He gently pushed Lucille off his lap and walked over to the bookshelf, reading over the titles. Some of them didn’t seem like stuff Negan would read if he was going off of the books in his office. Bored, he headed into the kitchen. “Negan? How long have you lived here?” he asked softly.

Negan nodded as he spoke into the phone, holding up a finger to Carl when he spoke to him. “Yes, that’s correct. Mmhm. Great. Thank you!” He hung up and slipped his phone back in his pocket. “Got a large half mushroom half pepperoni,” he said with a thumbs up. Carl’s question registered in his mind and he hummed, putting his hands in his pockets and leaning his upper body back as he thought. “Um, about a decade give or take some change. Why?”

Carl shrugged, wincing slightly at the movement. “Dunno, just curious I guess.” He sighed softly as he leaned back against the counter. “Is there anything I can do around here? Like, I could clean something.” He shrugged again. He didn’t like just sitting around, it allowed his mind to wander to things he didn’t like thinking about.

Negan noticed that Carl was in almost constant pain every time he moved. He wondered if there were more bruises in places that Carl didn’t show him. He shook his head. “No, no, you’re my guest. I wouldn’t have you clean my house for me,” he chuckled, rubbing his arm. “You should really probably not do anything strenuous so as to not further your injuries,” he said with a small shrug. “Do you want another ice pack? We can just watch a movie and you can… chill!” He grinned at his slight pun. 

Carl rolled his eyes but grinned at the joke. “Uh yeah, I’ll guess I take an ice pack. Could I have some water, too?” Once Negan had given him both a cup of water and an ice pack, he went back to the living room. He placed the water on the end table and curled up on the couch, holding the ice pack against his ribs.

Negan followed Carl into the living room but went to the TV instead of the couch. Next to the TV stood a tall DVD stand that was overflowing with movies of every genre. If one looked close enough, they would see that they were in alphabetical order. “So, what kinda movies are you into? Horror, comedy, sci-fi?” He bounced his eyebrows at Carl after saying the last one. “Whatever you want to watch, I’ve probably got it.”

Carl glanced over at him, humming thoughtfully. “Surprise me,” he eventually said with a slight shrug.

Negan chuckled. “Alright. You asked for it.” He looked down the rows of DVDs, running his finger over them as he went. Should he do a horror? That might not be good. Negan didn’t know Carl’s triggers. They both liked sci-fi, so maybe just stick with that? Or maybe a classic would be good? His finger landed on a movie and suddenly he was decided. He removed it from the stand, popped it out of the case, and got the TV set up and going. He grabbed the remote and sat down next to Carl on the couch, leaving a friendly amount of space between them. “You ever see ‘Back to the Future’? ‘Cause that’s what we’re watching.” He grinned toothily at Carl, pressing play on the remote.

Carl grinned excitedly. “I love ‘Back to the Future’! I haven’t seen it in forever.” He shifted a bit to get more comfortable, accidentally letting a small whimper escape him. “Could I maybe have a blanket?” he asked, biting his lip and glancing over at him.

Negan smiled fondly at him and nodded. “Of course.” He got up and went to a trunk that was at the end of the couch, opening it and retrieving one of those fleece blankets with the ties all around the edges. He opened it up, revealing black cats on one side and black and red stripes on the other, and came back over to Carl. Negan draped the blanket over the boy, tucking it in around his legs softly, before taking his place next to him again. Lucille mewed from the floor before jumping up and kneading into the soft fabric and purring up a storm.

Carl laughed softly at the cat’s behavior, reaching out from under the blanket to lightly pet her. He curled back up and focused on the TV as the movie started, quickly getting lost in it.

About twenty minutes into the movie, the doorbell rang. Negan got up, leaving the movie playing, and retrieved the pizza. He took it to the kitchen and dished out two pieces of their respective favorite onto two plates and grabbed himself a glass of lemonade. He carried everything, balancing the plates together on one hand, back into the living room. He set down his lemonade on the end table before handing Carl his plate. “Eat up. Don’t be afraid to get more either,” he said, smiling and settling back in next to him, taking a bite of his pizza and groaning in pleasure.

Carl took the plate and smiled in thanks. He sat up a little and took a bite of pizza, still focused on the movie. He hummed happily, and the pizza was soon gone. He placed his plate on the end table and curled up again. Though he didn’t mean to, he soon fell asleep, snoring softly.

Negan realized Carl was asleep about halfway through the movie when he laughed at something on-screen and turned to see if Carl laughed too only to be met by his sleeping face. His heart melted. Carl looked so cute curled up on his couch with Lucille curled next to him. He let the boy sleep.

When the movie ended, Negan collected their plates and started cleaning up, putting the extra pizza in the fridge. He was washing off the plates in the sink debating if he should wake Carl up or not. It was almost eight o’clock, which is when Carl had told him his parents got home, but based on what happened last time Negan dropped him off, Negan wasn’t so sure about that.

He walked back to the entryway of the living room, leaning against the wall and watching the boy sleep. He looked so peaceful. No panic, no pain. Just sleep. Negan bit at his bottom lip as he debated if he should wake him up or not. The thought that Carl would get in trouble if he didn’t arrive home flashed through his mind, and that settled it. He made his way over to the boy, kneeling in front of the couch. “Psst, Carl. Hey.” He didn’t touch the boy, still unsure about that.

Carl snored softly, clearly not stirring. This was the deepest sleep he had gotten in a while, no dreams to make him wake up scared. Even when he had slept in Negan’s office he hadn’t been this relaxed.

Negan sighed. He really didn’t want to wake Carl, who seemed to be completely out cold. The kid needed the sleep. He needed to heal. With that, Negan made up his mind. He grabbed some extra pillows from the hall closet and placed them gently next to Carl, also placing another blanket on the other side just in case. Lucille watched him from her spot curled next to the boy. Once Negan deemed it a comfy enough bed for the boy, he turned out the light, grabbed his laptop bag, and headed to his room. 

…

Carl slept for hours, waking up at one in the morning to a pounding headache and aching chest. He panicked for a moment, scrambling up from the couch as he tried to figure out where the hell he was. Finally, he remembered and calmed down. He got his phone out, only to find that it was dead. He sighed and dug his charger out of his bag, quickly plugging it in. He drank some of his water and went to the bathroom while waiting for it to charge a little.

Negan had fallen asleep sitting up in bed in his boxers and t-shirt, laptop on his lap, snoring away. His screensaver flashed at him in the dark. The noise of the bathroom pipes echoed throughout the house, startling Negan awake. “What the-” His laptop slid off his leg onto the bed. He looked around in the dark, rubbing at his face. Shit, he did it again. He sighed and closed his laptop, placing it on his bedside table. He was about to crawl back into bed, under the covers this time, when he realized he could hear someone moving around in the house. Who- OH. RIGHT. How could he forget?

Getting out of bed, Negan made his way towards the living room, flicking on the hall light in an attempt to not startle the boy. “Carl?” he whispered.

Once his phone turned back on, Carl found dozens of missed calls and texts from his mom, dad, and Shane. He quickly sent them all a text saying, ‘ _ Hey, I’m really sorry, but I fell asleep at my friend Mike’s house while we were watching a movie. His dad will drive me over in the morning. Sorry again _ .’

Carl glanced up when he heard Negan, sitting up on the couch and putting his phone down on the end table and letting it continue to charge. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asked softly, voice rough from sleep.

Negan ran his fingers through his hair, leaning against the doorway. “Yeah, but no, it’s okay. I’m not used to the noises of another person in the house… anymore.” Negan looked down at the floor for a second before shaking himself out of it. “Um, I tried to wake you earlier, but you were so asleep, and I really think you needed the sleep, kid. I hope no one was too worried about ya? I can talk to anyone you need me to.” He shrugged.

Carl frowned slightly, feeling bad for the man. It was clear he still missed his wife. “Yeah, I haven’t been sleeping well,” he admitted quietly with a slight shrug. “And I just texted my parents, they won’t get it ‘til morning, but it should make them chill out. I told them I fell asleep at a friend’s house, I doubt they’ll get mad at me. They’ll just be happy to hear that I actually have friends,” he said with a soft awkward laugh.

Negan smiled a little sadly at him. He didn’t want to pity him, but the only thought in his mind was ‘poor kid’. High school was hard enough, but without friends to support you it was so much tougher. And he thought he wasn’t strong. Tcch. “Well, I’m glad I can act as a friend for you,” Negan said, huffing a slight laugh. He ran his fingers through his hair again and leaned back. “Um, well, I guess I’ll be heading back to bed then. I’m the last door on the left. If you need anything don’t hesitate to wake me up.”

Carl nodded and laid down, curling up again. Negan was almost out of the room when he said quietly, “Thank you, Negan. For everything.” He closed his eyes and yawned softly.

Negan stopped at Carl’s words. He turned back to him and felt his heart melt. “It’s my pleasure, Carl,” he replied before heading back to his own bed. Slipping under the blankets, Negan rested his head down on his pillow and sighed. He looked over at the empty space next to him, moving his hand out to run along the cold mattress. He brought it back into his chest and hugged it close. Turning over to face the side, Negan closed his eyes and fell asleep.

…

Carl tried his best to fall asleep but found he couldn’t. Every time he felt close, the house would creak, or the cat would hit something and make some kind of noise and he’d jolt awake again his heart racing. After about an hour of this, he hesitantly walked to Negan’s room, knocking lightly on the door.

Negan awoke to the soft noise, still not used to the foreign noise in the night. Lucille usually played in the living room at night so he never had to deal with her pitter-patter. He sat up and looked towards his door. Had that been a knock? He got up and shuffled to it, opening it to find Carl. “Oh, what’s up?” he asked, rubbing one of his eyes. 

“Sorry I woke you up, but I can’t sleep,” Carl murmured, looking down. “I tried but I just can’t,” he sighed softly.

“Oh, that’s okay. Do you want to take my bed? It might help. I’ll sleep on the couch, no worries,” Negan offered, stepping aside to invite Carl into his room. He could fall asleep anywhere so it really wasn’t a problem for him, but he wanted to make sure Carl was comfortable. 

Carl quickly shook his head. “I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed, Negan. The couch wasn’t uncomfortable, I just...” He shrugged helplessly. “I feel really jumpy,” he admitted. “And the slightest noise wakes me up again, and sometimes I’ve only imagined the noise and I just can’t fall asleep,” he sighed.

Negan nodded. “Understandable. You’re in a new environment and you’re not used to it,” he ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back. “Well, uh, do you want to watch another movie? I could.. read a book to you? I’m not sure what to do to help, kid, I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure if Carl wanted to try and go back to sleep somehow or if he was giving up on it all in all. Negan’s sleep fogged brain was not coming up with any good solutions. 

Carl sighed softly, sitting at the end of the bed and gently pulling his legs to his chest. “I don’t know. Sorry, I bothered you, I just...” He yawned. “Sorry,” he murmured again.

Negan sat next to him on the bed and lightly bumped him. “You’re fine, Carl. You don’t need to apologize,” Negan copied Carl’s yawn and rubbed at his face. He looked between Carl and his bed and back again. In the daytime, when Negan had an adequate amount of sleep and coffee, he would balk at the idea that just flashed through his brain. He would yell about how inappropriate it was and how he was already pushing limits and breaking rules. But, as it was, Negan was tired and still half asleep, so when he turned to Carl, pointed to his bed, and suggested, “Would you like to sleep with me?” he had no qualms about it.

Carl hesitated, but then slowly nodded. He didn’t really feel like getting up to walk back to the living room anyway. He crawled up the bed and laid down beside where Negan had been laying. He curled up, pulling the blanket over himself and let out a sigh. He hesitated before saying quietly, “Are you sure about this? I don’t wanna wake you up if I have a nightmare.”

Negan moved to his side of the bed, getting under the blankets, and turned to face Carl. Having a body next to him in bed stopped his breath for a second. He gave Carl a small smile that he hoped he could see in the dark. “Yeah, kid. It’s okay. I’ve dealt with my fair share of nightmares,” he yawned. “If you have any, you just send them my way. I’ll take care of them.” He wanted to reach out and tuck Carl’s hair behind his ear, but he stayed his hand. 

He smiled softly at that, staring at Negan for a second. He was surprised to find how curious he was about the man. He wanted to know more about him, he wanted to know as much as he could about him. He had a feeling Negan had some pretty interesting stories to tell. “Hey, Negan? What is that bandage on your arm from?” he asked quietly. He had been wondering about it since he first saw it.

Negan tensed and drew his bandaged covered forearm into his chest, holding it safe and close. He looked away from Carl and drew in a sharp breath. “Just an… accident,” he whispered. He could feel his stomach knotting at the memory. All the blood. The pain. He sniffed, feeling the tears rise at the back of his eyes. Oh god, he had no walls up when he was tired. This was not a side of himself that he wanted Carl to see. He rubbed at his nose. “Not something you wanna hear about..”

Carl frowned slightly, wanting to reach out and touch the man, but forcing himself to stay still. “Kinda sounds like you need to talk ‘bout it, though,” he murmured, watching him.

Negan snorted a soft laugh. “Hey, I’m the guidance counselor here. I’m pretty sure that’s my line,” he said, relaxing a little bit. Picking at the bandage with his other hand, he sighed. He understood now what it felt like to be on the other side of his desk. Biting his lip, a moment passed, before he spoke again. “I-I was low. Emotionally. I wanted the pain inside to stop.” His eyes flicked up to where he knew Carl’s face was. He could feel the hot tears running down his face.

Carl smiled at the joke and huffed a little laugh. Then his face fell. He hadn’t thought, even for a moment, that that was what it was from. Negan seemed so strong. It had been hard, before, to think about him ever feeling bad enough to hurt himself. This time, he didn’t hold himself back, hugging him tightly. It was a little awkward because they were both lying down, but he made it work.

Negan gasped as he felt Carl hug him. Oh god, all his walls were being shattered by a teenager. Negan sniffled and buried his face into the top of Carl’s head, wrapping an arm around the smaller body. He was careful not to hug back too tight, due to Carl’s bruises, but he returned the hug as best he could. It felt so good. Negan couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually been shown physical affection. Not since her passing. He sniffled again and chuckled slightly. “Thanks, Carl.”

Carl didn’t say anything, burying his face in Negan’s neck. “Thanks for telling me, Negan,” he murmured. He pulled away slightly but was still pressed against him. He didn’t seem to have any plans to move, either, as he got more comfortable and pulled the blanket over him. “You’ll never do that again though, right?” He wanted to make sure. He was a bit surprised to find that he actually cared about Negan, more than he thought he would.

Negan hummed, relishing in the feel of Carl pressed against him. He reached up and tucked some of his hair behind his ear, trailing his fingers along his soft cheek. “I don’t plan on it,” he said. “It caused more problems than it fixed.” He let his arm fall back around Carl’s waist, relaxing into the mattress. He was suddenly much more tired than he had been. Opening up was hard work. He had a much new respect for every student that came through his door.

Carl nodded, relieved, and relaxed under the touch, yawning softly. “G’night, Negan,” he murmured, closing his eye. He shifted around for a moment, getting comfortable before he settled against him. He drifted off to sleep easily.

Negan didn’t have time to say good night himself before he fell asleep, more content than he’d been in years.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Negan spend the day together and fall into something risky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad people are liking this story! This chapter starts revving some things up so get excited!

The rest of the night passed. The sun rose. Golden light filtered into Negan’s room through the shades on his window, washing over the duo in the bed. Negan snored softly, still with an arm wrapped around Carl, face buried in his soft hair. 

Carl was still half asleep when he slowly opened his eye. He had moved in his sleep so that his back was against Negan. For a moment, he panicked, not remembering that it was Negan he had fallen asleep next to. He scrambled away from him, heart racing as he got out of the bed and looked back at him. He took a shuddering breath as he realized it was just Negan, and leaned against the bed, trying to calm his heart rate.

Negan mumbled in his sleep, Carl’s absence causing a wash of cold air to rush over him. He drew his arm that had been around the boy towards his own chest and went back to snoring softly. A morning person Negan was not. 

Carl glanced over, happy that he hadn’t woken Negan up. Once he calmed himself down, he crawled back into bed, curling up beside Negan again. He wasn’t really tired anymore, but the bed was so comfy, he didn’t want to get up. He couldn’t help but stare at Negan. Anyone who looked at him would have to admit that Negan was attractive.

At the feel of Carl’s body heat come back, Negan curled closer. It had been so long since there was another warm body in his bed. He was beginning to wake up but still had yet to.

In the hallway, Lucille meowed loudly. She was hungry and there was no food to be found. She made her way into Negan’s room, determined to wake him up, but when she jumped on the bed and found not only Negan but also Carl, she mewed in delight.

Carl glanced away from Negan and smiled slightly at Lucille, automatically reaching out to pet her. He sighed softly, feeling more at ease than he had in a year, at least. Lucille pulled away from Carl’s hand, instead climbing on top of Negan and sitting on him, lightly hitting his face with her paw to wake him.

Negan groaned as he was brought out of his slumber by the furry paw. He had been so relaxed and so warm. Sometimes he regretted getting the cat. He reached up and blindly pushed at her face. "Lucille..." he mumbled. Lucille mewed loudly and he winced, pushing at her more. Lucille suddenly wrapped her paws around his hand and started licking at it. Negan made a face and went to roll over in order to throw her off when he realized there was something... someone in the way. His eyes flew open and focused on Carl in front of him. "Oh!" he breathed, blinking at the boy. A small smile curved over his face. "Good morning."

“Good morning,” Carl said with a small smile. “Sleep well?” As he spoke, he sat up, absently running a hand through his hair. “Want me to go feed her?” he offered, gesturing to Lucille.

“Quite well, actually.” Negan reached up and grabbed Lucille, holding her up while he rolled over to lay on his back. He’s got her dangling in the air above his face, which she doesn’t seem to appreciate but she isn’t really fighting him, obviously used to this treatment. He lowers her and kisses her dangling back paw. “Aw, are you hungry? Is that why you woke us up? So we can feed you?” he coos at her sarcastically. She looks at him, unamused. He chuckles and passes her to Carl. “Let me go to the bathroom real fast, but you can take her to the kitchen. Her food is under the sink, bowl by the kitchen door,” he says, throwing back the blanket and getting up.

Carl smiled softly at how Negan acted with Lucille. He nodded and got up, holding the cat carefully as he headed to the kitchen and quickly got her food together for her. He left her eating as he grabbed his phone and checked the notifications.

Negan finished his business and walked into the kitchen, noticing Carl in the living room checking his phone. He smiled seeing Lucille eating happily. Grabbing a bag of coffee, Negan began getting his maker up and running, craving that caffeine. “Hey, I know you said you don’t like coffee, do you want any water or milk? I can make pancakes?” he called out from the kitchen to Carl.

Carl glanced over as he unplugged his phone. “Um, I’m not really hungry, but could I have a cup of milk?” he asked, slipping his charger back into his bag and his phone back in his pocket.

“Sure, sure,” Negan answered, grabbing the carton of milk from the fridge and filling a glass. He set it on the table as the coffee finished brewing, filling the air with the wonderful smell. He took a deep breath and sighed. Yum. Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he added a scoop of sugar and some milk before picking up the glass of milk and making his way into the living room and handing Carl the milk. He settled down on the couch taking a sip of his still hot drink. “Did your parents get your message? I feel kinda bad keeping you here without their knowledge,” he said, nodding towards Carl’s phone in his pocket.

Carl took a long sip of his milk and placed it back in the end table before plopping down beside Negan. “Yeah, they got it. They told me never to ignore their calls again, but then just told me to have fun,” he said with a slight laugh. “Thanks for letting me sleep here last night,” he murmured as an afterthought.

Negan nodded. They sounded like good parents, worried about their kid but wanting him to make friends. Negan guessed they didn’t know about whoever was hurting their child. He took another sip of his coffee and smiled at Carl. “Of course. It’s no problem. I wouldn’t just kick you out.” He chuckled a bit and ran his hand through his hair, pushing it back, looking down at his coffee. “And I enjoy your company. I don’t have a lot of people over very much, so it’s… nice.”

Carl hummed and nodded in understanding. He pulled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He really didn’t want to go home, but he couldn’t abuse Negan’s hospitality. Sure, he said he liked his company, but he was probably just being nice.

Negan tapped his fingers on his mug, looking around. He was conflicted. He wanted Carl to stay for his own selfish reason of wanting the company, but also to keep him safe. Negan felt like he’d adopt Carl on the spot if it meant that he never had to be in the presence of his abuser ever again. But, Negan also knew that Carl’s parents would start to worry if he didn’t come home. Sure, they thought he was at a friend’s house, but he had already spent the night, and certainly, kids didn’t hang out  _ all _ weekend… did they? The adult in him told him everything that had happened so far could get him into so much trouble. Some might call it a little creepy. Negan suddenly wondered how old Carl was, unsure if he was eighteen yet or not. He’d have to look at his file later. But… he hadn’t done anything Carl hadn’t wanted. He wasn’t forcing him to do anything. Carl  _ wanted _ to be there with him.

He took a drink of his coffee. Hazelnut.

“You… wanna watch a movie?” He shrugged. 

“Yeah, sure,” Carl said, flashing him a smile. “You mind if we rewatch ‘Back to the Future’?” he asked hopefully. “We should watch the whole series!” If they ended up watching the whole series, he’d end up getting a few more hours at Negan’s. He wanted to ask to stay, but he also didn’t want to overstay his welcome or anything.

Negan laughed at that, setting his coffee down. “If you really want to, I don’t mind, but I’d like you to ask your parents first. I don’t want them worrying about you, kid,” he said, getting up and getting the TV ready. The movie was still in the player from last night, so he didn’t have to do much there, grabbing the remote as he made his way back to the couch. “A lazy movie day sounds pretty great though.” He flashed a toothy smile at Carl, winking.

Carl ignored the slight flutter in his stomach as Negan winked at him and nodded. “I can call my mom real fast, my dad’s probably at work already.” He stood, pulling his phone out. “I’ll be right back.” He left the room and called her. He was back within a couple of minutes. “She said it’s fine.” He’s quiet for a moment as he sat down. “She also said that it’d be fine if I were to sleep over again,” he said shyly, looking away.

Negan was about to press play on the remote when Carl’s words hit him. Oh. He looked at him and cocked his head. “You-you wanna stay over again?” Negan asked, not mad, but straight up shocked. He was sure Carl would get sick of him, especially after watching three movies in a row. But… Carl wanted to spend time with him... and sleepover again. Negan felt his stomach flip at the thought of Carl potentially sharing his bed once again. “I mean...” He laughed, a bit incredulous. “That’s perfectly fine. I don’t mind. I just... assumed you’d wanna go home at some point.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m glad you like staying with me though.”

Carl shrugged, his face flushing. “I like being here. I… I like being around you,” he murmured, looking at the floor. He cleared his throat. “So, we gonna start watching the movie, or...?”

Negan felt himself heat a little at Carl’s words. He smiled and laughed and said, “Yeah, yeah. Here we go!” and pressed play on the remote. Negan settled back into the couch, throwing his arms up over the back of it. They could have the leftover pizza for lunch, but he wondered about what to have for dinner as the familiar theme song played on the TV. No matter the case, he was just happy Carl was happy and was here to stay. At least for one day more.

Carl hesitated but then moved closer, pressing lightly against Negan’s side and curling up. He pulled the blanket he had left on the couch over them and settled, focusing on the movie.

Negan let his arm fall gently around Carl’s shoulder and squeezed him a bit closer, all without looking away from the movie. He loved the feeling of the boy against him probably more than he should admit.

Carl couldn’t help but smile as Negan hugged him a bit closer, and snuggled up to him, completely at ease. He didn’t move until the movie ended, and once it did he only moved to let Negan get up to put in the next one.

As Negan went to change out the movies he asked, “Are you hungry? We’ve got leftover pizza in the fridge. I can heat it up for us.” He pointed towards the kitchen as he skipped the previews on the DVD screen going straight to the movie and then pausing it at the beginning.

“I’m not all that hungry, but I’ll wait if you wanna go and grab yourself something to eat,” Carl said softly. He got up and grabbed his milk, downing the rest of it before going and putting it in the sink. He winced slightly as he sat back down and curled up again.

“You sure?” Negan questioned as he went to pull the pizza out of the fridge. He really wanted Carl to eat something. He went ahead and heated up two pieces for him and two pieces for Carl, bringing the plates out with him. He held out Carl’s to him. “Please. For me?” He waved the plate in front of him, waiting for him to take it before he would sit back down.

Carl reluctantly took the plate and stared at the food with a slight frown. “Do I have too?” He looked over at Negan as he sat beside him. “I’m really not hungry.” As if to prove his lie, his stomach growled, making him frown more.

Negan nudged him softly with his elbow. “It would make me feel better if you did,” he admitted. Negan pressed play on the movie but kept his eyes on Carl to see if he’d eat.

Carl frowned, not touching the pizza at first, just leaving the plate on his lap. Eventually, though, he took a few bites, to make Negan happy. Then he decided to just eat, even if he’d hate himself for it later like he always did. It didn’t take long for him to finish both pieces, and then he put the plate on the coffee table and cuddled up to Negan.

Negan wrapped his arm around Carl, rubbing his shoulder softly. “Thank you,” he said. It really did make him feel better to know Carl was eating. He had dropped so much weight from the first time he’d seen him. It scared Negan.

As the movie played, Negan laughed at his favorite jokes and pointed out random trivia. “I’ve seen this too many times,” he commented at one point, chuckling.

Carl grinned. “Well, it is a good movie,” he hummed, resting his head on Negan’s shoulder. He loved the little trivia Negan would point out, and how much he seemed to genuinely enjoy the movie.

“It’s an  _ excellent _ movie!” he said, tilting his own head over to rest his cheek on Carl’s head. “And I do enjoy the third one, but I feel like Clara’s character is really unneeded. Doc doesn’t need a random lady for a love interest. He’s got Marty!” he scoffed, gesturing towards the TV.

Carl laughed. “Doc and Marty, huh?” he asked, giggling as he looked up at Negan with a grin. “Please, do elaborate on that.”

Negan stuttered for a second. Shit. He hadn’t meant to reveal that. He felt the blush on his neck as he gestured to the screen. “I-I mean… just look at them!” He scoffed. “They’re always together and Marty just walks into Doc’s house no problem. He knows where the spare key to the garage is! At the end of the first movie, when Doc is leaving, that  _ look _ Marty gives him. When Marty  _ leans _ on Doc during that scene in the garage in the 50s!”

Negan got less embarrassed and more passionate about his opinion as he went on, constantly just pointing at the screen. “In the third one, when Doc is looking all lovey-dovey at Clara, Marty just like, coughs in the background!” He’s sitting all the way up, having detached himself from Carl in order to yell at the TV. “The damn theme song to the  _ trilogy _ is ‘Power of Love’! Coincidence?!” He turned to look at Carl, hands still up and pointing at the movie. “I think not!” Negan didn’t realize just how many feelings he had about this until he had someone to yell about it at. He hoped he didn’t just really freak out the teen though.

Carl couldn’t help but laugh at Negan’s enthusiasm, falling back so he was laying on the couch as he giggled. He looked up at him with a bright smile as he considered his words. “I mean, I see your point,” he conceded once he calmed down. “I’ve honestly never thought of that before though,” he hummed, glancing at the TV before looking back up at Negan.

Negan grinned at Carl’s laughter. It was the first time he had heard him really truly laugh and it was an amazing sound. He found himself chuckling along with the boy, dropping his hands and leaning back into the couch. Everything about Carl at that moment was beautiful. 

“No, I suppose most people wouldn’t,” he said, letting out a small snort of a laugh and rubbing his neck. He was so glad he hadn’t just scared the boy off with his passionate yelling about what is seen as a very controversial relationship. He leaned back into the couch farther, back to where he was before, raising his arm in an offer for Carl to come closer. “Sorry about that though. I had a lot more feelings about that than I thought!”

Negan let his fingers trail up and down Carl’s arm absentmindedly as they watched the movie. He would randomly point to the screen when particular scenes that supported his Marty and Doc Carl didn’t hesitate to move closer, getting comfortable against him again. “It’s fine. I like listening to you talk,” he admitted, glancing up at him with a shy smile. He looked back at the TV, getting lost in the movie once more, though he was hyper-aware of each point of contact between Negan and himself.

headcanon played, and still spouted off his random trivia. When the second movie ended, he stretched his arms over his head, popping his back, before excusing himself to use the bathroom before starting the third one. As he left the living room, he glanced at the time. It was only about one o’clock. He wondered if he had any popcorn.

Carl was smiling softly when the movie ended, happy with Negan’s touch and how into the movie he got. When Negan went to the bathroom, Carl decided to switch the movie for him. He settled back on the couch with the remote and didn’t bother skipping through the previews, since he didn’t feel like just staring at a paused screen. Once Negan came back, though, he skipped ahead and pressed play.

“Aww, hey, thanks,” Negan said when he noticed Carl got the third movie ready to go. He took his seat on the couch again, wearing a nice groove into the cushion. “As much as this one annoys me,” he said, automatically wrapping his arm around Carl’s shoulder. “I like seeing them in the old west. I think if I could go back in time, that’s where’d I go.” He looked at Carl. “What about you? If you could go back, when would you go?”

Carl nodded and pressed against him easily again. He hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “I don’t think I’d want to go back, actually. I think I’d want to go into the future, see how my life is, ya know?” he said. “By the way, I’ve decided that I agree with your whole Doc and Marty thing.”

“I don’t think I could handle the future. Wouldn’t wanna ruin any surprises,” he chuckled before grinning at Carl’s words. “Yes! I’m so happy someone else agrees with me! I knew I wasn’t crazy!” He threw his fist in the air in celebration, laughing. He shook Carl gently in excitement. “You’re great kid. Thank you.”

Carl laughed. “Well, you might be a little crazy,” he joked, unable to stop himself from flinching and tensing as Negan threw a fist in the air. He fell silent, a small but forced smile on his face as he looked back at the TV.

Negan snorted as he settled down. “Just a little,” he agreed, looking at Carl with mild concern. He had felt the boy flinch in his arms, but didn’t know what set it off. He backed off from him a bit, looking back at the movie.

“See you in the future,” Doc said.

“You mean the past,” Marty replied, Negan speaking along with him. A fond smile fell over his face. He really did love these movies.

Carl frowned slightly, wanting to cuddle back up to Negan. But Negan had backed off, and he didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. So he just curled up, leaning against the back of the couch and pulling the blanket back over himself. He grinned as Negan spoke along with the movie, unable to tear his eyes from him.

Negan could feel Carl’s gaze on him. He tried to focus on the movie, but after a few minutes looked over to the boy. He tilted his head at him. “What?” he asked, a small smile on his face.

“Oh, it’s just cute how into the movie you get,” he answered without thought. As he realized what he said, his face flushed darkly and he glanced away.

Negan felt himself blush at Carl’s words and chuckled nervously. When was the last time he’d ever been called  _ cute _ ? Carl was the one who was cute. Especially when he was embarrassed. Negan regarded the flushed boy for a moment before opening his arms and beckoning him closer. “C’mere, kid,” Negan said softly.

Carl hesitated, looking over at Negan, considering him for a moment before moving closer. He settled against him, practically sitting in his lap.

Negan hummed. An armful of Carl was a wonderful thing. He adjusted the blanket over both of them and rested his head atop Carl’s. Perfect movie viewing spot. He trailed his fingers up and down Carl’s arm as he had earlier.

Carl hummed happily. He felt completely at ease when he sat with Negan like this, just surrounded by him. It made him feel safe. He shifted to get more comfortable, ending up completely in Negan’s lap. Goosebumps popped up on his arm as Negan’s fingers trailed up and down.

Negan laughed quietly as Carl shifted. Now, he had a lapful of Carl. This was even better than an armful. He let the arm that wasn’t wrapped around Carl’s back fall into their now shared laps, his hand resting against the outside of Carl’s thigh. 

Carl tensed up in surprise, glancing down at Negan’s hand. He hesitated, glancing up at the man for a second before grabbing his hand, twining his fingers with his and looking back at the TV. His heart pounding, not knowing how Negan would react.

Negan smiled. He could feel Carl’s erratic heartbeat against his own chest. The kid was so nervous. Negan couldn’t lie, he was too, but he held onto himself better. He didn’t know where this was going. Wasn’t sure he knew where he wanted it to go. But, it felt good, and they were both enjoying it. At least, he assumed so by Carl’s continued actions.

Accepting the handhold from Carl, Negan moved his thumb along Carl’s softly. He nuzzled his nose into Carl’s hair before resting his cheek against Carl’s head. He sighed, content.

Carl relaxed against him, sighing softly. He felt so calm right now, he hadn’t felt like this in a while. He just genuinely liked being around Negan. He couldn’t exactly figure out his feelings yet, but he knew it was probably not at all appropriate, considering their ages and the fact that Negan was his guidance counselor.

Warm and happy, Negan couldn’t help but drift off about halfway through the movie. He squeezed Carl minutely closer to him before his muscles relaxed. The last time Negan felt like this, his wife was still alive, and he still had dreams for the future. It was nice.

Carl, though he wasn’t tired, didn’t bother to move. Even once the movie ended, he stayed still, letting Negan sleep. He occupied himself by playing on his phone until Negan woke up.

It was about four o’clock when Negan started mumbling in his sleep. At first, just nonsense words and sounds, nothing discernible. But then, “Lucille...” came out clear as day. The cat with the same name perked up from her spot on the windowsill but laid back down when she realized she wasn’t being called. “Sorry…” came next. “I’m so sorry…” A frown fixed itself on Negan’s face and tears slid from beneath his closed eyes. His arms tightened gently around Carl. 

Carl turned in his arms to face him, frowning as he saw the tears. "Negan?" He gently tapped his cheek, not exactly sure how to wake him.

Negan flinched at the touch, his eyes flying open. He gasped and instinctively hugged Carl to him as he sat up straight. He panted for a moment, tears still wetting his cheeks before he realized where he was and what he was doing. “O-oh, sorry.” He released the squeezing hold on Carl but didn’t fully drop his arms. He sniffled and rubbed his cheek against his shoulder. “What, uh, what happened?”

Carl turned so he was straddling him and facing him completely. “You were having a nightmare, I think. You okay?” he asked softly, clearly concerned. He lightly brushed the tears away.

Negan nodded, taking in some deep breaths. He felt his face heat up where Carl touched it. “I- I think I was dreaming about… my wife,” he sighed. He let his hands fall to his side, landing on Carl’s thighs that were now on either side of him. Huh. That was nice. “It happens sometimes. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“No, it’s fine, I get it,” he murmured, still looking at him with concern. He shifted slightly in his lap. “You wanna talk about it?”

Negan smiled and looked down at his hands on Carl’s legs. If he spread his fingers out, his hands were the entire width of his thighs or more. He tapped his fingers against them. He was determined to get Carl to eat more. “You gonna be the counselor again?” he asked, looking up at him with a smirk.

Carl huffed a little laugh. “Sure, why not, if that’s something you’re into,” he joked with a smirk. He seemed to realize exactly what he said and his face flushed. “Ah, I mean, uh..” He laughed awkwardly.

Negan swallowed the lump in his throat, his own blush creeping up his neck. Oh, god. The way Carl had said that, that smirk on his face, the way he was sitting on him… Negan was in trouble. Oh, he was in big-time trouble. He looked down at his hands again. They shook slightly where they rested on Carl’s thighs. He took in a deep breath and slid them up to rest softly on Carl’s waist. He looked back up at Carl, wanting to know if that was okay. “Is it something  _ you’re _ into?” he asked softly. Negan was betting his all right here right now, so afraid of how Carl was going to react.

Carl sucked in a breath, looking at him in surprise. Did he really just? He did. Huh. The teen cleared his throat. "Maybe," he murmured, meeting Negan's gaze even as his heart raced. He chewed lightly on his bottom lip, his mind going a million miles an hour.

Negan let out a huff of a laugh. He was so afraid Carl was going to push him away and run out of his house, but that one word released so much tension in him. He reached up with one hand and cupped Carl’s cheek in it, running his thumb softly over the skin under his beautiful blue eye. “Just maybe?” he asked, almost a whisper.

Carl leaned into the touch, lightly pressing his palms against Negan's chest. His gaze flicked from Negan's eyes to his lips, then quickly back up again. He wanted to kiss him. He really wanted to kiss him.

Negan melted under Carl’s touch. Getting only good vibes from the teen encouraged him to press on. Negan pulled the hand on Carl’s cheek back towards him, encouraging the boy forward, and leaned up to meet him. He froze as their noses touched. He couldn’t make the first move. He needed Carl to express his consent or he’d feel like he was taking advantage. God, he still didn’t even know how old Carl was. Negan looked into that single blue eye and swallowed. “Carl,” he said softly. “Is this okay? Is this what you want?”

Carl closed his eye and let out a soft breath as he nodded. "Please?"

That was all Negan needed to close the space between them. A shiver ran through his body as his lips met Carl’s, and he closed his eyes, sinking into the boy. He raised his other hand to Carl’s other cheek and held his face as he kissed his soft lips. Negan was in  _ heaven _ . 

Carl melted against him, kissing him softly. He wrapped his arms around Negan's neck, savoring the feeling of his lips on Negan's. He didn't think just kissing someone could feel this good.

Negan pressed closer, as close as he could. God, he hadn’t felt this good in ages. He was so happy at that moment. Carl’s lips on his were soft and warm and they fit his perfectly. Sparks were shooting through his mind.

Breaking the kiss from Carl’s lips, Negan took a breath and started trailing kisses up Carl’s cheeks, and to his nose, and to his forehead. He laughed softly as he came back down and landed another quick kiss to Carl’s lips before leaving an inch between them and just looking at Carl. He tucked Carl’s long brown hair behind his ear. Negan just couldn’t stop smiling.

Carl kept his eye closed through Negan's assault of kisses, then suddenly opened it with a grin. He couldn't help but lean in and kiss Negan again, his fingers tangling lightly in Negan's hair.

Negan let out a soft noise of pleasure as he felt fingers in his hair. He kissed back, tilting his head to help slot their mouths together better. He could just eat this boy up. He let his hands fall from Carl’s face and run down his neck, to his chest, to his back, hugging Carl closer to him. 

Carl pressed against him eagerly. He lightly nipped at his lower lip. He just couldn’t get enough of Negan. He loved being completely surrounded by him like this.

“Ah!” Negan gasped at the nip. He let his mouth stay open and trailed his tongue lightly on Carl’s lips, silently asking for entrance. He vaguely wondered how on earth they got here. How inviting a student over for pizza led to this.

Not that he was complaining.

He tried pulling Carl closer despite their chests already bumping, his hands running up and down Carl’s back. 

Carl parted his lips, eagerly deepening the kiss. He pulled away after a few minutes to catch his breath. He looked up at Negan with a wide eye, not knowing what he was going to do.

Negan panted lightly as Carl pulled back. Good god. Negan raised a hand slowly to Carl’s cheek, cupping it and running his thumb along the boy’s bottom lip. It was nice and red from the kisses. Negan’s kisses. He looked up into Carl’s eye, clearing his throat. “Um…” he laughed. He had no idea what to say in this situation. “Well, uh… hi.”

Carl huffed a little laugh, his face flushed as he bit his lip and looked down at Negan. “Hey,” he murmured, absently messing with Negan’s hair. He didn’t know what to do, what to say. It wasn’t like he made out with his guidance counselor all the time, it was an entirely new situation.

Negan practically purred as Carl messed with his hair, leaning into the touch. He didn’t know what to do now, but he felt as the adult, he probably should think of something. Resting his hands on Carl’s hips again, he said, “So, was that okay? I mean, you seemed into it. You’re not running away from me now.” He chuckled nervously. “I-I don’t really know… how or why…” He sighed, his words jumbled. God, how did he get in this situation? “You’re a good kid, Carl, and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Carl frowned. “I’m not a kid,” he muttered. “And you’re not gonna hurt me. I’m not some fragile little doll,” he said, clearly annoyed.

Fuck. Negan gave Carl an apologetic smile. “I know you’re not. I know how strong you are. I just mean…” he bit his lip. He didn’t really know he meant. That he didn’t want to hurt Carl emotionally? Negan was conflicted. He’d love to get to know Carl more in this new way, but the taboo of it was scary. It was one thing to see it in a movie, but now that it was happening to him, he was… scared.

He reached up and tucked Carl’s hair behind his ear, letting his fingers graze along Carl's jawline as they fell. This boy was beautiful. Negan didn’t even know why a boy like this would want a man like him. He could do so much better. Sighing, he said, “What do  _ you _ want, Carl?”

Carl shrugged slightly, looking away. “How the hell am I supposed to know. It’s not like kissing my guidance counselor is something I do every weekend,” he sighed. “So yeah, I don’t know what I want. What do  _ you _ want?”

“Well, I don't kiss my students on the regular either!” Negan huffed but couldn’t help a small giggle. This was such an absurd situation. Yet, Negan knew he had to make up his mind because they would get nowhere like this. “Carl, I want you to be happy. I want you to be comfortable. I want you to be safe.” He leaned forward, brushing Carl’s cheek with his, and said softly into his ear, “I want to be the guidance counselor you kiss every weekend.” He leaned back enough to look into Carl’s eye, his own gleaming, a wolfish smile on his face. 

Carl couldn't help but laugh, still running his fingers through Negan's hair. "I...I still don't really know what I want," he admitted quietly. "What should I want? This is kinda weird." He laughed awkwardly.

Negan hummed, relishing the feeling of the fingers in his hair. God, that was good. He shrugged. “You’re allowed to want whatever you want, Carl,” he said. “I’ll respect your decision whatever it is. If you want to continue this,” he tapped Carl’s nose with his, “we can. If you want me to never touch you again, I won’t.” He leaned back slightly. 

Carl bit his lip, thinking. He wanted to let this thing, whatever it was, with Negan continue, but he knew that Negan could get in a whole lot of trouble. “You could get fired, Negan. Go to jail, even,” he murmured. “I like this,” he gestured between the two of them, “but I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Negan tilted his head in question. “Carl… how old are you?”  _ Please say eighteen. Please say eighteen. _ Negan knew he probably wasn’t. He had never looked over his file for that info, just focused on his grades and teacher comments. Negan couldn’t even remember what grade he was in. High school kids all blurred together after a while and it was hard for him to tell who was a freshman and who was a senior any more. 

“Seventeen,” Carl admitted quietly, gently pulling his fingers from Negan’s hair and setting his hands in his lap. Even if he wasn’t a student at the school where Negan worked, they’d still be illegal since Carl had only just turned seventeen in the past few months.

Negan looked at him long and hard for a moment before sighing. Fuck. Looking down, Negan took Carl’s hands in his. He felt like he had been brought up so high, and then suddenly the cord was cut and he was back at rock bottom. He rubbed his thumbs along the backs of Carl’s hands. “Well…” Negan cleared his throat. “We really shouldn’t do anything more until you're eighteen if you still want to be with me by then.” He chuckled nervously. Negan wanted nothing more than to be with Carl, but the threat of the law was real and he didn’t want to think about what would happen to him or Carl if that happened.

Carl frowned but didn’t say anything, silently slipping out of his lap. He awkwardly cleared his throat as he sat beside him and curled up, pulling his legs to his chest. “So uh, what movie are we gonna watch now?” he asked, changing the subject.

Negan felt his heartbreak, and he shivered as he lost Carl’s body heat against him. Oh, he felt like throwing up. Instead, his stomach growled. “We can watch whatever you want, but we should also get some dinner,” he said, pushing himself up off the couch. “I’m not really in the mood to cook. Do you like Chinese?” He moved towards the kitchen, going to grab the menu, but stopping in the entryway and looking back at Carl.

“Um, I’m not really hungry,” he muttered with a shrug. But, knowing Negan probably wouldn’t accept that answer, he said, “But yeah I like Chinese.” He stood from the couch, looking over Negan’s movies again.

Negan nodded and went to grab the menu from where it was stuck on the fridge. “Alright, well what do you like?” he asked, walking back into the living room to look for his phone. He knew Carl would fight him on eating, but he was determined to have food to offer him and get him to eat some of it. He didn’t know why Carl seemed so hesitant to eat, and he was concerned.

Carl sighed. “I don’t know. Like I said, I’m not really hungry.” He picked out a movie, the first ‘Ghostbusters’, and put it in, starting it but pausing it to wait for Negan.

Negan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, I’ll just… get a variety of things.” He grabbed his phone and headed back to the kitchen to call it in. “You can start the movie without me.” He stated over his shoulder.

Carl frowned, hating that he felt like he was annoying Negan. He curled up on the couch and pulled the blanket over himself, pressing play and starting the movie.

Negan ordered the food and then took a seat at the dining room table. He set his elbows on it and then flopped his face into his hands. Groaning, Negan took a moment. God, had he fucked up? He didn’t know what to do. He felt like a teenager with a crush that got dumped before prom, but he was also worried about Carl. The teen was going through so much and then this happened. He sighed, rubbing his temples.

Carl glanced in the direction of the dining room as he heard Negan groan. He wanted to go see if he was okay, but he also was still worried that he was annoying Negan, so he tried to focus back on his movie.

Negan knew he needed to get up. Knew he needed to go back to Carl. But he just couldn't. His face in his hands, he could feel the tears at the back of his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He refused to let this dumb crush on a minor reduce him to tears.

Biting his lip, Carl fidgetted as he waited. When a few more minutes had passed, he couldn’t stay still anymore. He got up and walked into the dining room, looking at Negan with a frown of concern. “Negan? You okay?” he asked softly, sitting in the seat beside him.

Negan jumped a little at Carl’s words, not hearing him walk in, but quickly relaxed. He sighed and rubbed at his temples again. “Yeah, kid, I’m fine… I’m just… debating my morals and having an existential crisis.” He laughed softly. He turned to look at Carl, just taking him in for a moment. He smiled sadly at him. “When’s your birthday anyway?”

“Like seven months away,” he sighed. He propped his chin upon his hand and looked at him with a slight frown. “M’ sorry we kissed,” he murmured, feeling bad. He didn’t like the thought that maybe he had made Negan upset.

Negan shook his head. “Don’t be sorry for things that made you happy,” he said. “At least, I assume it made you happy. It made me happy.” He shrugged, a light blush dusting his face. 

“Yeah,” Carl said softly, nodding. “I really liked kissing you,” he admitted quietly, his face flushing as he looked away.

Negan grinned. “Well, I’m glad it was good for you. I haven’t kissed anyone for a long time.” He had a flirt on the top of his tongue.  _ I still feel a bit rusty. Could use some more practice. _ It pained him not to say it. He wanted to flirt with Carl. He wanted to see his reactions. Wanted that blush to be a permanent feature on his beautiful face. He reached out slowly and grazed the tips of his fingers against Carl’s cheek. 

Groaning, he pulled back and pinched the bridge of his nose. “God, kid, Carl, what are we doing?” he asked, feeling exhausted. “I-I want to say fuck it. If you want this, want me, I don’t care. It’s not even- seven months isn’t even a year! You’re close enough. It’s just a number! You’re more mature than half the kids your age. We won’t tell anyone. Who’s gonna know? We just keep it in here. I just-,” Negan stuttered off. He was rambling and needed to calm down. “I just want to get to know you better and maybe kiss you. Is that too much to ask for? Is that so wrong?”

Carl was silent for a moment, thinking. He really wanted to be with Negan, wanted to see where things could go. The fear of getting Negan in trouble still lingered, though. That could screw up Negan's whole life, and he didn't want to do that to him. "Do you really think we could keep it secret?" he asked quietly, looking up at him. "I really don't want to get you in trouble or anything, Negan."

Negan turned in his chair to face Carl, taking the teen’s hands softly in his. “I’m not going to tell anyone. You’re not going to tell anyone. As long as we don’t do anything in public, who’s gonna find out?” Negan shrugged, a small hopeful smile on his face. 

Carl nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re right,” he murmured as he stood and stepped closer. He kissed him tentatively, pressing lightly against him.

Negan hummed and kissed back, wrapping his arms around Carl’s waist softly. The euphoria from earlier returned. All of Negan’s fears disappeared under the press of Carl’s lips on his. This felt too good to be wrong. 

Carl relaxed against him, pressing closer and parting his lips, deepening the kiss. Kissing Negan was intoxicating, and he felt like he’d never tire of it. He tangled his fingers in his hair again.

Negan huffed softly as Carl’s fingers found their way into his hair. God, that was good. He copied Carl and deepened the kiss, tilting his head to get closer. His hands trailed up and down Carl’s spine. 

Carl was forced to pull away moments later for air, breathing heavily as he looked at Negan with a bright grin and flushed cheeks.

Negan chuckled at Carl’s grin, panting softly himself. He raised a hand to the teens cheek, caressing it gently. Carl’s lips were kiss stained red and still wet. Negan's eyes roamed Carl’s face and drank it all in. “God, you’re beautiful,” Negan whispered without really realizing it. 

Carl blushed darkly, looking away. “Wanna go watch the movie?” he asked softly, gently grabbing Negan’s hand and twining their fingers together.

Negan’s heart leapt and he grinned wide at the blush on Carl. It was just as cute as he thought it’d be. Negan leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Sure.” He squeezed Carl’s hand in his and stood, leading them into the living room. 

He took his seat on the couch and pulled Carl down next to him, tugging him close, and wrapping him in his arms. “So, what are we watching?”

Carl settled against him happily, grabbing the remote and pressing play. “Ghostbusters,” he hummed. “I love these movies.”

“Fuck yeah! Great choice!” Good movie and good company. Negan was happier than he’d been in a long while. He placed a soft kiss on the top of Carl’s head.

About half an hour into the movie, the doorbell rang. “Oh!” Negan gently removed himself from Carl and made his way to the door to retrieve food. As he was carrying it into the kitchen he looked at Carl pointedly and said, “Come get what you want. I got a little bit of everything.”

Carl glanced over with a slight frown. “Negan, I’m really not hungry,” he sighed, glancing at the movie that he had paused when the doorbell had rung.

Negan set the food down on the table before poking his head back into the living room. “It’s been hours since you’ve last eaten,” he argued. “Can you at least try? For me?” Negan was growing more and more concerned about this food issue. Would Carl starve himself if he didn’t force him to eat?

“Negan, please,” he whined. “Don’t make me. I really am not hungry,” he insisted. He’d already eaten too much, and he hated himself for it.

“That’s crap, Carl. God, when I was your age I couldn’t stop eating,” he sighed, shaking his head. He walked back over to the couch, kneeling on the floor in front of Carl. Negan placed a hand on Carl's knee and ran his thumb back and forth over it. “What’s wrong, Carl?” he asked softly, tilting his head in question.

Carl frowned, crossing his arms over his chest petulantly. “Nothing’s wrong,” he muttered unconvincingly. He was silent for a few minutes before he huffed. “I just don’t want to eat, okay? Why’re you making such a big deal about it?”

Negan scoffed, frowning. “Maybe because your body needs food to, I don’t know,  _ live _ .  _ Survive _ ,” he explained. “Maybe because I  _ care _ about you.” He looked up at Carl with pleading eyes. Negan had seen so many kids with eating disorders in his line of work. He hated to see another one that was so close to him. 

“Oh my God, it’s not that big of a deal,” Carl huffed, annoyed. He stood up and walked past him. “You’re acting like I don’t eat at all. I just ate two slices of pizza today, so clearly I  _ do _ eat. Don’t be so dramatic,” he muttered, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door hard behind him.

Negan flinched at the sound of the door shutting, and he had the immediate fear that Carl was going to try and make himself throw up. He couldn’t bring himself to go stand by the door and listen though. One, creepy. Two, if he did hear Carl attempt it, Negan didn’t think he’d be able to hold it together.

Instead, he stood and went back to the kitchen. He put together two plates of food and two glasses of water and brought them back to the living room, setting one in Carl’s spot. He nibbled on a crab rangoon as he waited, his own appetite lost. 

Carl sat on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning back against the wall. He didn’t feel like going back out there. Negan would probably just get mad at him again about not eating. He played on his phone for a while, frowning as his stomach growled at the scent of the Chinese food.

After a bit, Negan got tired of staring at the frozen image of Bill Murray on the TV and too worried about Carl. Setting his half-eaten food down, he got up and made his way to the bathroom. Knocking lightly, he asked, “Carl? Are you okay? I’m sorry for… prying. I’m just concerned and… with my job it’s kinda a natural reaction.” He rubbed the back of his neck in slight embarrassment. Maybe he had been reading too far into it. “Will you come finish the movie? Please?”

Carl sighed and stood up, wincing and absently stomping his left foot, which had fallen asleep. He opened the door as he slipped his phone in his pocket and eyed Negan warily. “Will you leave me alone about eating?”

Negan bit at his bottom lip and rubbed at the bandage on his arm. “Yeah, I promise,” he nodded. He held out his hand and wiggled his fingers, silently asking Carl to take it. 

Carl stared at him for a moment, then took his hand with a sigh, leading the way back to the couch. He curled up next to Negan and grabbed the remote, completely ignoring the food set out for him as he pressed play on the movie.

Negan wrapped an arm around Carl and nuzzled his chin into his hair. He placed a soft kiss atop it before just settling in and watching the movie. His own stomach flipped the longer Carl didn’t eat, but he wouldn’t push him. Not right now. He just wanted to enjoy his time with him now. 

Carl got lost in the movie but ended up falling asleep about ten minutes before it ended. He slept soundly for a while, but then started to fidget and shift in his sleep.

Negan realized Carl was asleep when the movie ended and he didn’t move. He let the boy sleep and flipped through the special features on the DVD. When Carl started shifting, Negan frowned. “Shh,” he hushed, rubbing a hand in small circles on Carl’s back. 

Carl flinched at the touch, breathing hard as he whimpered softly. “Please no,” he murmured, trembling, still asleep. “Stop.”

Negan’s heart broke at the whimper. Shit. A nightmare. “Carl, it’s me. It’s Negan.” He shook Carl’s shoulder softly, trying to wake him up without jarring him awake. 

Carl scrambled away from him, falling off the couch and wincing in pain as his eye flew open. He looked panicked and he was shaking like a leaf.

Negan gasped but didn’t move. He didn’t want to startle Carl any more than he had. “Carl? Are you okay? Can you hear me?”

Carl stared at him, wide-eyed. It took a moment, but slowly the panic disappeared and he shakily got to his feet. “I’m fine,” he murmured, his voice shaking.

Negan leaned forwards slowly and opened his arms, motioning for Carl to come into them. “C’mere, babe,” he said gently. He knew a thing or two about nightmares, and he knew not to push Carl on it. 

Carl hesitated but walked over and pressed close to him, burying his face in his chest as he tried to calm himself. He wrapped his arms around Negan, absently fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

Negan shushed him as he wrapped his arms around Carl, engulfing him in a hug. He rubbed his back and pulled him close. “It’s alright. I’m here.” He rubbed his cheek against Carl’s head. “It’s alright.”

Carl shook his head. “It’s not alright,” he murmured. “Without me there, he might hurt Judith. What if he starts to hurt Judith? I can’t let him do that to her,” he babbled, trying hard not to cry.

Negan ran his fingers through Carl’s hair and kissed the top of his head. “Who’s Judith, Carl?” he asked softly, avoiding the other obvious question for now. 

“My baby sister,” he muttered. “She’s not even one yet, but what if he does to her what he does to me when she’s older?” He looked up at him with a helpless look, blinking back tears.

Negan cupped both of Carl’s cheeks in his hands and looked into his eye. Oh god. What could he say? He couldn’t promise anything. “Carl, I want to promise you that he won’t, but I can’t. The only way to stop an abuser is to get them removed from the situation.” He bit at his bottom lip. “I know it’s scary, but this man needs to be reported.”

Carl fell silent and looked away from Negan, seeming to think for a moment. “But what if no one believes me? He’s a cop,” he sighed softly, looking up at him with a frown.

_ Christ _ . Negan felt his stomach plummet. “They just let anyone be cops these days, don’t they?” He sighed. This might be harder than he thought. “I can always file a report through the school,” Negan said. “It gives your case a little more to work with. No one is going to think you’re making it up, Carl. Cop or not, the evidence and your testimony should put him behind bars. You’re… covered in proof.” He gestured towards Carl’s chest where he'd seen the bruises earlier. He felt a flash of anger surge through him at the memory. “God, and if it doesn’t, I will personally find this fucker and shut his shit down so hard, he’s going to wish he never laid his eyes on you.” 

Carl took a step back as he noticed the anger in Negan’s voice, taking his arms from around Negan and instead awkwardly stuffing his hands in his pockets. “H-how would we go about reporting him?” he asked quietly.

Negan looked at Carl quizzically. Why had he pulled back? Was it Negan’s threat of violence? He sighed and rubbed at his face with his hands. “We’d have to wait till I got back to school. My forms are there. I would need to fill out an abuse form with all your information and descriptions of physical evidence. You’d be able to submit a statement in your own words also.” He looked up at Carl. “I’d give it to the school officer and he’d take it to whichever detective wanted your case and it’d proceed from there.”

Negan had only had to file the abuse form twice over his years at the school. Both times the abuser had been caught and put away, but they’d never been a cop. Negan didn’t know what kind of strings this guy would be able to pull.

He dropped his voice down a level and said, “You’d have to tell me his name.”

Carl nodded, biting his lip. “Would doing all that really keep him away? What if he’s able to get out of it somehow or something?” He’s quiet for another moment before he murmured, “His name’s Shane. Shane Walsh. He’s my dad’s best friend.”

Negan sucked in a breath at Carl’s admittance of his abusers name. He really trusted Negan that much. “All eyes will be on you. If he gets out, no one will let him get to you, and he’ll be so ostracized by the community, he’ll probably skip town.” Negan held his hands out to Carl, palms up, wanting to hold Carl’s hands and draw him close but not wanting to touch him if he didn’t want it. “I’m sure once your dad knows, he won’t be his friend anymore. No matter what, I won’t stop until you and your sister are safe.”

Carl let out a shaky breath, ignoring Negan’s hands and instead hugging him tightly, burying his face in his chest again. He’s silent for a while, then suddenly spoke. “He didn’t just hit me, or whatever. He did… other stuff,” he admitted quietly, seeming ashamed to even say it.

Negan held Carl close, arms wrapped around him, one hand running through his hair. He shushed him softly, tears springing to his eyes. Negan had suspected that there was more than just the bruises, but he didn’t want to believe it. He sniffled and pulled Carl closer. “I-I suspected. You don’t have to tell me about it now. It’s okay.”

Carl sniffled, only now noticing that he was crying. He pulled away from the hug after a few minutes, wiping at his face with a frown. He hated crying, it made him feel weak.

Negan reached up and brushed some of Carl’s hair away from his face, trailing his fingers down and wiping away a tear. Negan’s own eyes were leaking a few. “Carl, you are so strong, and I’m so proud of you.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Carl’s forehead. 

He sighed, looking up at him. “Can we watch another movie or something? I don’t want to think about it anymore,” he murmured. The more he thought about actually reporting Shane and the whole process, the more anxious he got.

“Of course. Go pick out what you want,” Negan said, patting Carl’s cheek before letting him go. As Carl looked at the movies, Negan silently cleaned up his half-eaten plate of food and Carl’s untouched one. He put all the leftovers in the fridge, and refilled his cup of water, drinking it down and then refilling it again. Lucille mewed at him from his feet. He leaned down and scratched behind her ear. “You hungry girl?” Grabbing the cat food from under the sink, Negan refilled her bowl before heading back to the living room. 

Carl looked through the movies but just settled on the second ‘Ghostbusters’. He switched the movies out and started it. He waited for Negan to sit before tentatively settling into his lap, looking at him to make sure it was okay.

Negan immediately relaxed when Carl climbed onto him, wrapping his arms around him. He would keep him here forever if he could. He chuckled when the movie started. “Just moving down the Ghostbusters line, huh? I’ve got the newest one too.” He told him, grabbing the blanket from next to them and covering them both.

Carl glanced up at him and grinned. “Really? Nice,” he hummed, relaxing against him as the movie started.

Negan could feel himself nodding off about half way through the movie. It was dark outside and he had a warm body in his lap, who could blame him? He needed a distraction. Lifting a hand, Negan started carding his fingers through Carl’s hair. It was so soft and it smelled so good. Smelled like Carl. He nuzzled his nose into it, moving down to run the tip of his nose over the shell of Carl’s ear. Negan moved Carl’s hair back, and placed a kiss behind his ear.

Carl shivered, humming softly as he pressed back against him. “Mm, feels good,” he murmured absently.

Negan huffed a laugh, warm air spilling over Carl. He placed another kiss behind his ear before moving down and placing one at the edge of his jaw. He nudged Carl with his nose, asking him to tilt his head so he could continue the kisses to Carl’s neck.

Carl tilted his head back, resting it on Negan’s shoulder with a soft sigh. He grabbed one of Negan’s hands, playing with his fingers as he continued to watch the movie.

Negan hummed and trailed his mouth down Carl’s neck to his shoulder and back up again, leaving a multitude of kisses in his wake. He loved the feeling of Carl under his lips. He could eat him up like candy. He let his hand stay slack so Carl could do what he wanted with it, enjoying the feeling of Carl touching him. Negan didn’t realize how touch starved he had become until now. Back up at Carl’s jaw, he nipped the skin there lightly and then licked it to soothe it.

Carl made a soft noise that was half surprise, half pleasure. He closed his eye, biting his lip as he twined his fingers with Negan’s. He loved having his lips on him, he loved being surrounded by him like this.

Negan squeezed Carl’s hand in his, shivering at the sound that came from the boy in his lap. Mm, that was good. He noticed Carl had closed his eye and chuckled. Speaking softly into Carl’s ear, Negan quipped, “Do not let me distract you, young man.” He smirked, waiting a moment before diving in and nibbling at the skin right at the junction of Carl’s neck and shoulder.

Carl couldn’t hold back a quiet moan, shifting in Negan’s lap. He opened his eye, his cheeks flushing darkly in embarrassment at his own reaction.

Negan grinned into Carl’s neck, chuffed at the reactions he was getting. He sat up and planted a kiss right on Carl’s reddened cheek. “You’re too cute, babe,” he told him, hugging him closer.

Carl turned in his arms as his blush darkened. He kissed him softly, relaxing completely against him as he wrapped his arms around his neck.

Negan moaned softly into the kiss and pressed into Carl, hand coming up to cup under his jaw. Negan encouraged Carl to tilt his head as he did his, deepening the kiss before he nibbled on Carl’s lower lip. 

Carl made a soft noise, parting his lips as he pressed against him. One of his hands absently slipped down Negan’s chest, tracing along the muscles he could feel through his shirt. His free hand ran through Negan’s hair, his fingers tangling in the dark strands.

Negan groaned into the kiss. Carl’s hands on him felt like lines of sweet fire wherever they touched. Negan let his tongue slip out and venture into Carl’s mouth tentatively, tasting even more of the boy. He let his hands slip down Carl’s neck and chest, not liking that he could practically feel each of his ribs through his shirt, but he wouldn’t mention it. Not right now.

Carl continued to kiss him eagerly as he tentatively slipped a hand under his shirt and pressed his palm to Negan’s skin, humming appreciatively.

Negan shivered and he gasped into Carl’s mouth as he felt his hand on his skin. Oh, lord. Negan broke the kiss to suck in some fresh air before trailing kisses from Carl’s jaw down his neck on the opposite side than before. He nipped at the sensitive skin near his shoulder blade, careful to not bite too hard. The kid didn’t need any bruises in any visible places.

Carl groaned softly, lightly scratching his nails down his chest. He panted quietly, shifting in Negan’s lap.  Negan hummed into Carl’s neck before he trailed back up, capturing Carl’s mouth in another quick kiss before pulling back and looking him in the eye. He panted, reeling from the feeling of Carl’s hands on him and the weight of him in his lap. That of which was only covered by the thin boxer shorts he had worn to bed the previous night. They were gonna have a little problem if they kept this up. “Carl, you’re going to undo me,” he said with a breathy laugh. He swallowed, resting his hands on Carl’s hips. “We-we gotta slow down before you get me too excited.” His face heated as he spoke.

Carl pouted but didn’t say anything. He was honestly getting a bit excited himself, and how embarrassing would it be for him to pop a boner just from making out? He kissed him one last time before he situated himself in his lap so he could look at the TV again.

Negan wrapped his arms around Carl and rested his chin on Carl’s shoulder, watching the movie from there. “Oh, this is my favorite part!” Negan commented. He continued to point things out during the movie, calling out bloopers and spewing fun facts. He realized at some point that he knew a lot about 80s movies and maybe needed a new hobby.

Carl grinned, finding Negan’s enthusiasm endearing. “You really like movies, huh?” he hummed neared the end of the movie, turning his head so he could glance at him.

Negan shrugged. “Not much else to do but watch movies these days.” He smiled sadly. He was a man with a cat. It wasn’t like he was having intellectual conversations every night.

The credits soon rolled and Negan sat up to stretch his arms over his head, yawning. “I think I’m going to hit the hay. I don’t think I could make it through another movie,” he said, running his fingers down Carl’s arm. “You can stay up if you want, or… you can join me?”

Carl bit his lip and nodded, getting up with a yawn. He turned the TV off and made sure his phone was plugged in before grabbing Negan’s hand and letting him lead the way to his room.

Negan smiled, pulling Carl along. When they got to his room, Negan realized that Carl had just slept in his day clothes the night before. The sleeping over had been unplanned, so it wasn’t like he had packed. “Do you want some pajamas? I’ve got a few t-shirts and shorts that are too small for me that I just haven’t thrown out yet.” He looked Carl up and down. “They’ll still be big on you, but at least you don’t have to sleep in your clothes again?”

Carl looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah, thanks.” He plopped onto Negan’s bed while he waited for him to get the clothes. Once he got them, he got up and walked to the bathroom, and quickly changed before coming back to the room. He was practically swimming in Negan’s clothes.

Negan got settled into bed while he waited for Carl, pulling the blankets back so Carl would be able to just climb in next to him. When the boy came back, Negan snorted a laugh at the sight of him drowning in his clothes. “Well, it’s better than nothing,” he said, “and you look cute. C’mere.” Negan patted the empty bed space next to him.

Carl huffed but grinned, his face flushing slightly as he got into bed beside Negan. He curled up, wrapping his arms around him with a soft sigh as he got comfortable.

Negan pulled the covers up over them both before surrounding Carl with his arms and pulling him close. Carl fit perfectly against him. Negan kissed the top of his head before relaxing into the soft mattress. “Good night, Carl.”

“Night, Negan,” he murmured, looking up and kissing him softly before burying his face in his neck and relaxing with a sigh. He fell asleep easily and slept soundly.

Negan fell asleep soon after he felt Carl’s breathing even out. Having a warm body next to him after so long of only cold air was fantastic. No nightmares visited him that night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl and Negan have a nice outing, but then Carl is finally called home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad to see how many people are enjoying this story! Thank you for all your kudos and comments <3

As the morning sun rose, soft beams of light filtered in through Negan’s window, washing over the duo. Lucille had made her way into the room during the night and was now curled up asleep at the foot of the bed. Negan was still holding onto Carl, snoring softly into the boy’s hair.  Carl didn’t wake until late morning. He yawned softly as he blinked his eye open, squinting slightly at the sunlight that shone in his eye through the curtains. He looked up at Negan, unable to stop the small smile that appeared on his face. He really liked Negan, a whole lot more than he knew he should.

Negan hadn’t slept so well in years. It was nice, but it was throwing his internal clock off. His mind said  _ wake up! _ but his body said  _ sleep! _ Alas, he did wake up, but he didn’t open his eyes, not ready to fully accept it. Instead, he pulled Carl closer and curled into the boy, humming softly. He never wanted to leave this moment.

Carl’s smile grew as Negan pulled him closer. “Good morning,” he murmured, looking up and pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. “Sleep well?”

Negan mumbled and cracked one eye open to look at Carl. The morning light smoothed his edges and made him glow. Negan smiled, leaning his head down to press their foreheads together. “Thanks to you,” he said, rubbing his nose against Carl’s softly.

Carl tilted his head and kissed him sleepily, not completely awake yet but almost. “Can we just lay here all day?” he asked with a quiet yawn as he pulled away. “This bed is too comfortable, it makes me wanna never get up.”

Negan chuckled and leaned in to give him a kiss of his own. “Sounds good to me,” he mumbled. He wondered when Carl would need to be taken home. Surely his parents must be wondering where he is, who this new ‘friend’ is he has that he’s just had a double sleepover with. And it was Sunday, which meant school tomorrow. He put these thoughts away, for now, just enjoying the feeling of Carl next to him. He let a hand slide down Carl’s side lightly, resting on his hip.

Carl closed his eye and hummed softly, his mind blissfully blank as he kissed Negan softly again. What he had said before was true, he never wanted to get up. He loved being here, in a soft, warm bed that smelled of Negan, with Negan pressed against him and his arms around him. He felt safe.

Negan kissed Carl lazily, a slow press of lips on lips. Just savoring the feeling. Memorizing the taste. They had nowhere to be. They could afford to go slow. Negan let his hand run up and down Carl’s side, tracing nonsense shapes.  Carl shivered slightly at the light touch, smiling softly against Negan’s lips. He lazily draped an arm around Negan, tracing circles on the small of his back.

“Mmm,” Negan hummed, leaning into Carl’s touch. He let his own hand run down Carl’s side, over his hip, landing on his thigh. Pulling softly, Negan encouraged Carl to lift that leg and hook it over Negan’s waist. He left his hand on Carl’s thigh, right at the edge of where his shorts met skin.  Carl hummed softly as he hooked his leg over Negan’s waist, pressing closer. He parted his lips, deepening the kiss.

Negan let his mouth fall open with Carl’s, smiling into the kiss. He wondered how far he should push this. He let his hand on Carl’s thigh slide down till it passed the edge of his shorts, and then he let it slide back up under them. Carl’s skin was so soft under Negan’s fingertips, he couldn’t help but squeeze his thigh lightly. 

Carl sighed contentedly moments later as he pulled away to catch his breath. He looked up at Negan with a soft smile.  Negan smiled back, leaning his forehead against Carl’s. “Well, good morning to you too,” he said, voice soft and slightly out of breath. His fingers ran back and forth on Carl’s thigh.

Carl huffed a small laugh, trailing tentative kisses along Negan’s jaw. “Ugh, I don’t wanna have to leave later,” he murmured as he pulled away a bit, pouting up at Negan.

Negan smiled into the kisses, looking down at Carl when he spoke. He kissed the pout on his lips before answering, “I don’t want you to either, but I’m sure your parents are wondering where you are. And it’s a school night, so no sleepovers allowed,” he winked at Carl. “Do you need to call them at all? Tell them when you’ll be home?” 

“Nah, I’ll call them later,” Carl hummed, kissing Negan softly again.

“Alright,” Negan said into the kiss, unconvinced but not going to push the issue. Teens would do as teens did, and maybe he should be the voice of reason as the adult in this situation, but damn… Carl felt too good to let go. He let his lips trail down Carl’s jaw and to his neck, nipping and licking as he went. The hand on Carl’s thigh moved higher ever so slowly.  Carl moaned softly, his face flushing in embarrassment at the noise. He pressed closer to him, tangling his fingers in Negan’s hair.

Negan grinned at the noise Carl made. Beautiful. He made his way back up to Carl’s mouth, placing a few open-mouthed kisses there before he pulled back, panting, and tried to catch Carl’s eye contact. “Carl,” he said, his voice thick. “Where do you want this to go? What do you want?” He let his hand slide back down Carl’s thigh and rest near his knee that was settled on Negan’s waist.

Carl bit his lip. “I-I’m not sure,” he said, looking up at him as he shrugged a little. “I just want you to kiss me,” he murmured, pressing forward and kissing him eagerly.

Negan chuckled into the kiss. Alright. He could do that. He pressed closer to Carl, bringing his hand up to thread it through Carl's long hair. He'd kiss Carl for eternity if he could.

Carl smiled softly against his lips, threading his fingers through Negan’s hair. He pulled away after a few moments as Lucille meowed loudly from the foot of the bed. “I think she’s hungry,” he said with a slight laugh.

Negan snorted. “She’s always hungry.” Lucille made her way up the bed, climbing onto Carl and walking along his body, making her way to Negan’s face. She reached out and smacked him with her paw. She wanted to be fed, human. “Hey, now!” Negan snapped at her and batted her paw away. She meowed again and looked down at Carl, stepping a paw on his face. If her first human wouldn’t feed her, maybe this new one would.

Carl wrinkled his nose, laughing as he lightly brushed her paw away. He sat up, picking her up gently. “I can go feed her if you want.”

Negan almost whined at the loss of Carl in his arms. He sighed and sat up too. “If you would, that’d be great.” Negan actually needed to use the bathroom and his body was screaming for a cup of coffee. So much for staying in bed all day. “We should get some lunch too. Maybe we can go out somewhere?” he suggested, throwing the blanket back and moving out of the bed.

Carl hummed as he got out of bed, gently holding Lucille close to his chest. “I’m not all that hungry, but yeah we can go out somewhere if you want,” he said with a shrug. He turned and left the room, heading down to the kitchen.

_ He’s never hungry _ , Negan thought with a frown. He knew he promised Carl he wouldn’t press him about eating, but it was seriously concerning him. He did his business and then made his way to the kitchen, starting up a pot of coffee. He leaned against the counter and sighed.

Once he had filled her bowl and Lucille started eating, Carl walked into the living room and grabbed his phone, walking back into the kitchen as he absently looked through his notifications.

Negan watched Lucille eat, his arms loosely crossed over his stomach. He was deep in thought, trying to figure out a way to get Carl to eat without knowing that’s what he was doing. He looked at the boy as he walked back into the kitchen. He opened his arms and gestured for Carl to come into them. “Hey, c’mere,” he said softly.

Carl glanced up, tucking his phone into his pocket before doing as told, pressing close to Negan in a hug and sighing softly. “What’s up?” he asked quietly, looking up at him.

Negan hugged him back, focusing and feeling just how skinny he was. It scared him, quite frankly. Negan nuzzled his cheek into the top of Carl’s head and sighed. “Nothing…” He tugged Carl closer and kissed his head, just holding him. His coffee pot beeped as it finished, but he ignored it.

Carl hummed contentedly, resting his head against his chest and closing his eyes. “I don’t wanna have to leave later,” he sighed.

Negan sniffed a little, not realizing that tears had started to build up behind his eyes. His mind was on autopilot, thinking about worst-case scenarios, one of which was Carl collapsing from malnutrition. “I know, babe,” Negan said. “But we’ll see each other at school, and maybe you can set something up with your parents about needing a weekend tutor or something. I can write some convincing notes home.” He tried to speak at a level tone, but there was a tremor in his voice. Oh, he needed to get a hold of himself. This kid had managed to shatter all of the walls he had built up around his heart.

Carl opened his eye and looked up at him with a small frown. “Negan? What’s wrong?” he asked, forehead creased with worry.

Negan shook his head, rubbing at his eyes. “I promised I wouldn’t bug you about it, so I’m not. It’s fine. I’m fine.” Negan pet Carl’s hair, smoothing it down with a shaking hand.

“You’re clearly not fine. What’s wrong?” Carl repeated, taking a small step back and looking at Negan with a frown. “Is this about me eating? I told you, I’m fine,” he sighed.

Negan scoffed. “Oh, so you get to be fine, but I don’t?” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the ground. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. “Carl, it scares me,” he said softly. “It scares me so much that you don’t eat regular meals and that you’ve lost so much weight since when I first met you. It’s not healthy, it’s concerning, and I’m so sorry I keep bringing it up, but,” he sniffed, and swiped at his eyes. “It’s frightening.”

Carl rolled his eyes and sighed. “It’s really not that big of a deal, Negan. I’m fine, really,” he insisted. “I mean, it’s not like I never eat. I’m sorry for worrying or scaring you. I just don’t want to eat, and I can’t help it,” he murmured.

Negan sighed and covered his face with a hand, shaking his head. He’d seen so many kids with eating disorders over the course of his job. So. Many. They were some of the worst things he ever had to deal with. They were slowly killing themselves, growing smaller and smaller until their bodies gave out. It was horrible, but Negan knew it required more help than just telling them to eat. More help than he could give.

“What do you mean you can’t help it, Carl? Why do you ignore the hunger signs your body gives you?” Negan asked, remembering the boy’s stomach growling multiple times even though he ‘wasn’t hungry’.

Carl sighed and shrugged uncomfortably. He didn’t want to talk about this. “I just… I don’t know. I just don’t like eating, I feel gross after I do,” he mumbled, looking down and not meeting Negan’s eyes.

“Feel gross? How? Like sick or like...?” Negan couldn’t figure this out. Was this a body image thing? He wondered if it was related to Shane’s abuse, mentally or physically. “Carl, when did you start feeling this way?” Negan said, his voice soft.

Carl frowned and shrugged. “I don’t know, a little while after the whole thing with Shane started,” he admitted quietly. “Do we have to talk about this?”

Negan knelt down on one knee in front of Carl, trying to look him in the eye. “I just want to know if you’ve been to the doctor at all after it started? I’m afraid you might be physically injured internally.” Negan wasn’t sure what Shane could have done, but it was a possibility, right?

Carl huffed. “If I went to the doctor, they’d ask too many questions. Plus, what could he have done physically that makes me hate myself every time I eat?” he asked, annoyed.

_ So, it was a body image thing? _ Negan sighed. “I don’t know, Carl. I’m just... trying to figure this out. I just want to help.” Negan reached out slowly and placed his hands softly on Carl’s sides. “But whatever he’s done or said to you is wrong and a lie. You’ve done nothing wrong, you shouldn’t feel bad for anything. And for the record, I think you’re beautiful.”

Carl frowned, looking down and not meeting his eyes. “Can we just not talk about this anymore? Maybe I should just go home,” he murmured, stepping away from Negan.

Negan studied Carl for a moment, heartbroken as the boy moved away from him. “You can if you want, I’m not trapping you here. I’m sorry I brought up the topic again. There were no cruel intentions, trust me.” He sighed and stood up. “If you wanna stay, we can get out of the house. Go to the park, maybe? It looks like a nice day,” Negan suggested. He felt bad but he didn’t want to push the boy into staying if he didn’t want to.

“No offense, but that’s a dumb idea,” Carl said with a huff. “Don’t you think it’d look a little weird for a kid to be out anywhere with his school guidance counselor?”

Negan snorted a laugh. “Kid, I don’t wear a sign. Unless you go to our school, no one would recognize me. We’d probably look like a dad and his son.” He shrugged. “You got any grand ideas then?”

Carl hummed, happy now that the subject had changed. “True, I guess. Um… I don’t know. I guess we could go to the park then,” he said with a shrug.

Negan rolled his eyes but smiled.  _ Gee. _ “Alright, go get dressed and let me drink a cup of coffee here so I can be functional, and then we can go.” He turned, filling his mug with the hot coffee. He took a sip and moaned. “Oh, that’s good.” He looked back at Carl and grinned.

Carl rolled his eyes but grinned. “Could you be any more dramatic?” he teased before turning and leaving the kitchen, going to grab his clothes before going into the bathroom and changing quickly.

Negan gasped dramatically at Carl’s words. “I am NOT dramatic!” He yelled dramatically as the boy left. He snickered and drank his coffee, watching Lucille finish her food. He was glad Carl was alright after their little... disagreement. He didn’t want that to ruin the whole day. He was still so worried though, and was determined even more to get to the bottom of what was making Carl feel the way he was.

He made his way to his own room after a minute and set his coffee down on his bedside table, trying to decide what to wear. He slipped on a pair of jeans and took off the shirt he’d been sleeping in, throwing it on the bed and searching through his drawers for a new one.

Carl finished getting dressed and headed back to the kitchen. When he realized Negan wasn’t in there anymore, he frowned and headed to his room, figuring that that’s where he was. He walked in just as Negan pulled his shirt off, and he paused in the doorway, watching him. Negan was hot, definitely.

Negan dug around some more. All he could find was his dressier shirts that he wore to work, and he just wanted a plain t-shirt. He thought he’d done laundry recently? Maybe he put them in the other dresser by mistake… Negan turned, going for the dresser that was by the door, and saw Carl in the doorway. His footsteps stuttered for a second, but he kept going. “Oh, sorry! I’m trying to find a shirt and then I’ll be ready.”

Carl shook his head, his face flushing slightly at having been caught staring. “Um, no it’s fine. I’ll j-just wait out here, I guess,” he said, embarrassed.

Negan smirked at him, loving the pink in his cheeks. Negan stepped up to Carl before he could leave and lifted his chin up with a bent knuckle. He leaned down and placed a quick kiss to his lips. "Take a picture, kid. It'll last longer," he said when he leaned back, winking.

Carl’s face flushed darkly. “S-Sorry,” he murmured, biting his lip. “I didn’t m-mean to be a creep or anything.”

"Babe," Negan kissed his forehead. "It's fine. I'm just joking." He pet Carl's hair and backed up, going back to his dresser and opening a drawer. The shirts he wanted were right there. He tssked at himself and pulled out a white t-shirt, slipping it on. He looked around for his shoes but remembered he had taken them off at the door. He walked back over to Carl. "Alright, come on then. Let's get a move on."

Carl relaxed as Negan said he was joking, relieved. He nodded and led the way. He pulled his shoes on and made sure he had his phone before heading outside. “Oh, it is pretty nice out,” he hummed.

Negan followed soon after, grabbing his own phone, shoes, and keys. He locked up the door as he stepped outside. “It is!” he agreed with Carl. The sun was out and the temperature was warm but not hot. Negan unlocked his car. “Alright, hop in. We can go to that one park with the lake in the middle? I love walking around that,” he said, getting into the driver’s side and starting it up. 

Carl hummed and nodded. “Sounds good. You got any good music in here?” he asked as he settled into the passenger seat and buckled his seat belt.

Negan scoffed softly, playfully. “Any good music? Look in that cd holder on your mirror,” Negan said, pointing at it before he buckled his own belt and began backing out of the driveway. “Everything in there is ‘good music’.”

Carl rolled his eyes. “Yeah, sure. It’s probably some classical music or something. Isn’t that the type of shit old people listen to these days?” he teased, grabbing the CD holder.

Negan sputtered. “OLD?” He scoffed. “I’m not OLD… and it’s not classical but they are classics. Classic rock, that is. If you don’t know anything in there then we a failing as a society to teach our children.” He shook his head sighing dramatically. Kids these days didn’t respect their elders or their elders’ music like they should.

Carl laughed, a grin on his face as he flipped through the CDs. He eventually just chose a random one and put it in, turning the volume up a little bit.

Negan wooped as the sounds of AC/DC filled the car. He rolled down the windows and sang along as they drove. “Tell me you know these guys? Please!” Negan said to Carl over the sound of the guitar wails and drum beats. 

“Um...” Carl shrugged. “They sound… vaguely familiar?” He shrugged again. “I don’t know, I don’t listen to old people music,” he teased.

Negan sputtered. “They’re  _ famous _ ! How do you not… here, here. What about this song?” Negan shuffled through the tracks until he got to “Back in Black”. He tapped the wheel in time with the opening guitar riffs, glancing at Carl to see if he recognized it. 

Carl nodded after a few seconds. “Of course I know this song. They use it in movies and shit all the time,” he said, leaning back in his seat.

“Yeah, because it’s  _ famous _ and a  _ classic _ !” Negan said, pointing to the radio. “At least you know one song.” He rolled his eyes. “Not all hope is lost.” He glanced over to Carl and winked at him, a smile on his face. 

Carl grinned, humming along to the song as he glanced out the window. It was quiet except for the music playing until they reached the park and Carl got out, stretching with a soft groan.

Negan got out and locked up the car, shoving his keys in his pocket. He looked around. There were a few families with young kids playing on the playground, a couple of people on the walking path getting in some exercise, a guy playing fetch with his dog… overall not as big of a crowd as Negan was expecting for such a nice day.

“Come on, let’s go find the lake,” Negan said to Carl, gesturing for him to follow to the walking path. They’d have to walk about a mile before they reached the lake, going through a little bit of woods first.

Carl nodded, leading the way along the path. He hummed softly to himself, just looking around, taking in the pretty day. It had been a while since he had actually spent any amount of time outside since the only places he really went were school and his house.

Negan smiled just watching Carl and looking at the nature around them. He hoped the vitamin D from the sun would be good for the boy. He was so pale, and it would help with his mental health as well. Amazing what one vitamin could do for the body.

As they stepped into the trees, the sun became slotted through the leaves, and bird calls were heard. Negan pointed to a bird in a tree. Its belly was white and spotted with brown. “You hear that bird? Sounds like a flute?” he whispered. “That’s a wood thrush.”

Carl looked up to where he was pointing and nodded. He looked around in the trees for a moment before pointing to another bird. “What kind of bird is that?” he asked softly, looking at Negan to see if he’d know.

Negan looked to see where Carl was pointing and saw a small roundish bird with a bright yellow chest. “Oh, nice eye. That’s a warbler. A yellow-throated one to be exact,” he explained. “I’m sure you can tell how it got its name.” Negan laughed softly. “Both of those birds are really common to this area of Georgia.”

Carl hummed and nodded, continuing to search through the trees as the two of them walked. He had to admit, he liked being among the trees. It was just so calm like it was a whole separate world.

Negan felt himself relax as they walked, happy to see Carl looking like he was having a good time. He pointed out a few more birds as they walked, but otherwise just kept a companionable silence.

As they broke through the tree line, the sun once again shone down bright on them. Negan had to blink a few times as his eyes adjusted to it. Once he could see, he looked around and grinned. “Oh! Look, there’s the lake!” He pointed towards the lake that sat a little way still down the path. The water gleamed in the bright sun.

Carl grinned. “Can we go and sit by the water, maybe dip our feet in?” he asked softly, leading the way down to the lake.

“Yeah, of course,” Negan said, nodding and following Carl. The path broke to grass which then broke to sand the closer they got to the lake. There was a small beachy ring around the lake. On the far end, there was a couple with their kid having a picnic. Negan crunched his way through the sand to the edge of the lake and looked out over the water. It was beautiful and calm. A nice breeze blew over the top of it. Negan sighed and put his hands in his pockets as he gazed out.

Carl smiled as he stepped on to the sand. He paced closer to the water, watching the slight ripples that the breeze created. He sat down at the edge of the sand, close to where the water was lapping at the shore. He crossed his legs and absently tapped his thigh as he stared out over the water and let himself get lost in thought. It was beautifully serene here.

Negan sat down next to Carl, bumping his shoulder with his softly. “It’s nice, huh?” he said softly, gazing at the boy. The breeze blew his long hair and Negan just wanted to bury his face in it. 

Carl nodded, leaning against him with a soft sigh. “It’s really beautiful here,” he hummed. “The way the light shines on the water an’ all.” He yawned softly, absently running a hand through his hair to push it out of his face.

Negan nodded, wrapping an arm around Carl and squeezing him softly in a hug. He was looking at Carl when he murmured, “Yeah, beautiful.” 

Carl glanced up at him, rolling his eye even as he grinned. “You like what you’re seein’ or somethin’?” he asked with a slight laugh.

“Oh, you know it,” Negan smirked, reaching out to move some of Carl’s hair away from his face and tuck it behind his ear. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Carl’s forehead.

Carl flushed but smiled softly, looking back out at the water. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and sighed before pulling it out. He frowned at the text that popped up on his screen. “My mom wants me to come home,” he sighed.

Negan frowned slightly but nodded. “That’s reasonable. You’ve been gone all weekend. I’m sure she’s worried,” he said, squeezing Carl’s shoulder. “What are you gonna tell her, anyway? Just gonna invent a friend?” he asked, moving to stand up, holding his hand out for Carl to take to help pull him up.

Carl took his hand and stood, letting out a soft groan from the ache in his ribs. “Yeah, I already told her I was at a friend’s house, but if she asks questions, I’ll just make some shit up,” he said with a slight shrug. “I really don’t wanna go home.” He sighed as he started to lead the way back.

“I know you don’t,” Negan sighed, keeping hold of Carl’s hand as they walked. “But hey, I’ll see you at school tomorrow? Why don’t you eat lunch with me in my office?” Negan knew what lunch period Carl had due to examining his schedule previously. It was such a coincidence that his happened to match.

Carl nodded, a slight smile appearing on his face. “Yeah, that’d be cool,” he said softly. “It’d definitely be better than sitting at an empty table by myself,” he said with a slight laugh, trying to pass it off as a joke.

Negan hummed at Carl’s comment, squeezing his hand softly. “Can I be a counselor with you for just a second?” he asked, and then continued without getting an answer from Carl. “Can you see if you can try to make at least one friend in your classes? Maybe, not even a friend. An acquaintance. Meet someone new. Could you do that for me?”

Carl groaned. “You sound like my mother,” he muttered. ”It’s not like I can just walk up to someone and start up a conversation. I look like something out of a fucking freak show,” he said, pointing to the bandages that covered his empty socket.

Negan chuckled. “Well, she sounds like a smart lady,” Negan said, cocking his head at Carl. “And you know, I’ve worked with high school kids for a few years now, and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that they’re into  _ weird _ things.  _ Different _ things.” He stopped walking and faced Carl towards him, reaching out and sweeping Carl’s hair back from his face, and running his fingers softly down his bandaged eye. “ _ Freaky _ things,” he said softly, giving Carl a wink.  Carl tensed as Negan touched the bandages, then sighed and forced himself to relax.  “Plus, they also have short attention spans,” Negan continued, starting to walk again, tugging Carl along by the hand he was still holding. “They might gawk at you for like a week, ask a whole bunch of questions, but as soon as the mystery is gone, they’ll get bored and treat you like anyone else.”

“I guess,” Carl mumbled, continuing to walk with him. “There’s this girl that sits next to me in History. I think her name’s Enid. I could talk to her,” he said with a little shrug.

Negan beamed at Carl, nodding. “Alright! Talk to her and tell me about it, hm?” He squeezed Carl’s hand, glad that that had gone well.

As they broke from the trees, Negan shielded his eyes from the sun with his free hand. They walked to his car, Negan finally letting Carl’s hand go to allow him to get into the passenger side, sliding into the driver’s side himself, starting it up. “Seatbelt, please, and if you could direct me, that’d be great.” Negan had only been to Carl’s house once and it was from his own house. Coming from the park, he didn’t think he could make there on memory alone.

Carl nodded, buckling his seatbelt. “Alright, uh… turn left once you get out of the park,” he said, pulling his phone from his pocket. His face fell as he read the text that had popped up on the screen. He bit his lip and dug his nails into his palm, trying to hold back the panic that was slowly building in him.

Negan pulled out and began in the direction Carl told him. As they were approaching another main turn, he glanced over at the boy to see if they needed to turn or not, noticing the expression on his face. Negan’s eyes flicked to Carl’s phone in his hand. “Hey, everything okay?” he asked softly.

“Shane’s coming over for dinner,” he said with a shaky sigh. He put his phone up in the dashboard, nervously bouncing his leg. “Usually when he comes over he ends up staying late, and when he stays late...” He shook his head quickly, not finishing his sentence.

Negan hummed and reached out, placing his hand on Carl’s shoulder. He didn’t know how to help. He could offer to conjure up some lie about him being Carl’s fake friend’s dad and somehow get himself invited to dinner as well, but that was just convoluted and not likely to work. He knew he had to take Carl home, he’d been away long enough. He sighed.

“If you can think of some way I can help you, I will, but I’m afraid there’s not much I can do,” he said, biting at his bottom lip. “Not tonight anyway. I’ll start getting all the paperwork together tomorrow to get your statement and start the process of getting him arrested.” He glanced at Carl, trying to keep his eyes on the road.

“Oh God, he’s gonna kill me. He’s gonna figure out that I told you, and he’s gonna freak out and he’s gonna kill me,” Carl breathed, wide-eyed as he bounced his leg faster and clenched his fist, digging his nails into his palm.

Negan pulled over to the side of the road, putting the car in park, before turning in his seat, taking Carl’s hand and rubbing his thumbs over the back of it, trying to ease the tension. “Ssh, Carl. Look at me. Look at me, Carl. He’s not going to know. There’s no way he could know.”

“No, no, he’ll know,” Carl muttered, his breathing picking up as he pulled his hands away and balled them into fists again, his nails nearly breaking the skin but he didn’t seem to realize he was doing it. “I don’t know how, but he’s gonna know, of course, he’s gonna know. He found out about that first time I went to see you, and he was so so mad. He’s gonna be pissed.”

“Carl, please. He only knew that you didn’t come home. He didn’t know where you were or who you were with,” Negan tried to explain, coming up with answers on the fly for what he suspected happened. Negan reached out and took Carl’s face in his hands. “Carl, breathe. Breathe.” Negan bit at his lower lip. He had another idea, but he was afraid it could backfire or somehow get Carl into trouble and he didn’t want that. Fuck it. “Carl, what if… what if I drop you off, you eat dinner like normal, and then you leave afterward? Come back to me?”

Carl pulled away from him. He just wanted to get away. Not from Negan, but from everything else. He got out of the car, pacing next to it anxiously. Shit, Shane was going to kill him if he found out.

Negan groaned and got out of the car, coming round to Carl’s side and leaning against the hood. He let the boy pace, not trying to touch him anymore. He didn’t know what to say to Carl, having tried all his options. He figured he’d just let him tire himself out.

As Carl paced, he tried to force himself to calm down. He slowly got his breathing and heart rate under control, though anxious thoughts still swirled around his head. He stopped pacing, unclenching his fists, and only just now noticing that he had broken the skin with his nails, and drawn some blood.

Negan just stood, arms crossed, leaning against his car until Carl finally stopped. When Carl unclenched his fists, he saw the blood his nails had drawn. Negan shook his head, tssking. He held a hand out to Carl. “Let me see.”

Carl stepped closer to him, holding out his hands, palms up. He looked down, his face flushing in embarrassment. He hated it when he got himself worked up like that, especially if other people saw. Negan probably thought he was just an over-dramatic baby.

Negan took Carl’s hands and examined the cuts. They weren’t bad at all. There were just a few beads of blood, but they weren’t even actively bleeding. Negan brought one of Carl’s hands up to his mouth and kissed his knuckles, doing the same with the other one. He looked down at Carl. “Alright?”

Carl nodded, glancing up at him. “M’sorry,” he said softly. “Just, sometimes, I start thinking and I spiral and I get myself so worked up that I just freak out.”

Negan smiled softly. “Yeah, I’ve noticed,” he said lightly. He reached up and booped Carl’s nose. “So, what do you want to do? Are you okay to go home? I don’t want your mother worrying about you but I don’t want you to be in danger.”

Carl ran a hand through his hair with a soft sigh. “I dunno. I don’t want to force you to deal with me any longer, and we’re already on the way to my house.” He shrugged.

Negan put a hand on Carl’s shoulder and ran his thumb back and forth. “Carl, you’ll never be a bother to me, but that being said, I really think you need to go home. Just for a bit. See your parents. Let them know you’re okay. Eat some dinner. Then, lock yourself in your room or sneak out. I don’t know, kid. I just want you to be okay.”

Carl nodded. “Yeah, okay,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I don’t… I don’t mean to be so dramatic and freak out like I do. I just...” he trailed off and shrugged. “Sorry.”

Negan shook his head and took Carl’s face in his hands softly. “No, no. You’re not being dramatic. Your feelings are valid. Your reactions are valid. It’s really scary what you’re going through, Carl.” He tucked some of Carl’s hair behind his ear. “Don’t be sorry. You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

Carl nodded with a soft sigh, a sudden thought popping into his head. “Negan? The, uh… All the stuff that Shane’s done, what do you think coulda caused him to just… snap? I mean, a year and a half ago we were really close and he was nice and all. I don’t remember doing anything that could’ve started everything.” Carl knew it was his fault. He figured it  _ had _ to be his fault since Shane hadn’t done this to anyone else. He just didn’t know what he had done.

Negan hummed. “I don’t know, Carl. I’d need to know specifics of when it started, how it started, etcetera,” he said shrugging. “It could be something with your age, how you’ve grown. You might look like someone else to him and he’s trying to hurt that person by hurting you. I don’t know though. Sometimes, people just change.” Negan wished he had the answers for Carl. He wished he knew why the world worked and why people did what they did. But he didn’t. 

Carl frowned but nodded, thinking. “We should probably get going before my mom freaks out,” he said softly after a few moments, breaking out of his thoughts and looking up at Negan.

Negan nodded softly. “Okay.” He let go of Carl and got back into the driver’s side, waiting for Carl to get back in before starting the car. “Oh, hey. Let me give you my cell number. Just in case,” he said, continuing down the road. “But, do not put me in your phone with my real name, first or last. Use the name of the fake friend whose house you just spent the weekend at.”

Carl buckled his seat belt and nodded. He made a new contact under the name Mike, since he had told his mother that the friend he was staying with was named Mike, and typed in his number as Negan told him it. “Thank you,” he murmured, calming down with the knowledge that he could get in contact with Negan if he really needed to.

"Of course," Negan said. "You call or text me no matter the time, okay?" He glanced at Carl, glad to see him calming down.

Carl nodded, staying quiet and looking out the window as they drove. When they pulled up to his house, though, he looked back at Negan. “Thank you,” he mumbled, smiling softly at him.

Negan smiled back at Carl and reached out to pat his shoulder. "No problem, Carl. Be safe. See you at school." He booped Carl's nose. "Or maybe before that. Let me know how it goes, okay?"

Carl huffed a laugh and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll text you after dinner. Drive safe,” he said as he got out of the car. He shut the car door and headed up to his front door. He knocked and his mother opened the door. He glanced over his shoulder once more as Negan drove away, then headed inside.

Negan waited till he saw the door open before he drove off, glad he saw a woman answer it.

Carl was able to escape to his room pretty quickly, telling his mom that he had eaten at his friend’s house and wasn’t hungry. 

..

When he got home, Negan toed his shoes off at the door and flopped face-first onto his couch, sighing. He hoped all went well for Carl. All this stress and worry was really wearing at him. He dug his phone from his pocket and placed it up by his head, waiting for Carl's text. Lucille mewed as she came into the living room and jumped onto Negan's back. She kneaded him before settling down and purring. He relaxed into the vibrations and quickly dozed off.

..

Carl sat on his bed and did his homework and was in the middle of a math problem when his door opened, revealing Shane. He didn’t have a chance to say anything, though, since Rick called him from downstairs. As he left the room, Carl breathed a sigh of relief and tried to focus on his homework again.   
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl tells his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait! Had some life stuff get in the way haha~  
> Thanks for reading!

The next day, Carl walked to Negan’s office at lunchtime. He knocked on the door, absently zipping and unzipping his lunch bag as he waited for him to answer.

Negan looked up from writing his note when he heard a knock on the door. Assuming it was Carl, he tossed the note in the trash, not needing it anymore. He grabbed his lunch, leftovers, and went to the door opening it. "Hi! I was just about to put a note on the door for you." He stood aside and gestured for Carl to come in.  Carl nodded and made his way inside.  "I have to run to the teachers’ lounge really fast and heat this up. I meant to do it before the lunch bell rang, but I got held up. Just, make yourself at home, and I'll be right back!" he said quickly before leaving and making his way to the teacher's lounge.

Carl plopped his lunch bag down on one of the armchairs and splayed across the futon with a soft sigh. He yawned, absently tapping his fingers against his thigh as he waited for Negan to come back.

...

Negan hurried into the teacher's lounge and claimed the microwave, setting it for a minute and a half. He waved at the two teachers sitting at the table in the middle of the room and they waved back. "Simon. Arat. How are you guys?"

"Doing good. You?" Arat responded, stirring her yogurt cup with a spoon.

"Alright, alright," Negan answered, watching his food spin around.

"Say, did you hear about Dave?" Simon said, looking at Arat but loud enough for Negan to hear.

"I know he got arrested, but I didn't hear why," Arat said, tapping her chin with her spoon.

“He got a little too friendly with a student,” Simon explained. Negan stared at his food, his breath hitching. “Apparently the girl was consenting, but she was only fifteen so it didn’t matter.”

“Ugh,” Arat stuck her tongue out in disgust. “He was always creepy. And, like, I’m not defending him but he would have been smart to just wait till she was sixteen so she wouldn’t have been underage.”

Negan blinked and looked at her. “Sixteen? Don’t you mean eighteen?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. Arat and Simon shook their heads.

“Nah, man. In Georgia, the age of consent is sixteen,” Simon said. At Negan’s confused expression he continued, “It’s different for every state, you know?”

Negan shook his head. “I-I didn’t know that…” The microwave beeped and he jumped a little. He retrieved his food and looked back towards the other two. “I thought it was just eighteen all over.” The other two shook their heads. Negan chuckled softly. This… changed a lot. He shrugged. “Well, I guess you learn something new every day, huh? I’ll see y’all later!” Negan waved, hurrying out of the room with his food. He had to tell Carl.

...

Carl opened his eye as Negan walked back into the room. "Hey," he yawned, sitting up. "So, I talked to that girl, Enid, like you suggested. She actually seems pretty cool. Plus, she's apparently in my last period class too," he informed him.

“Oh! That’s fantastic!” Negan shut the door as he walked in, going straight to his desk, setting his food down without even touching it, and immediately starting to type on his computer. “I’m… glad you talked to… her…” Negan said, distracted as he read something on the screen. He grinned and hit print, turning in his chair and wheeling over to the printer. He grabbed the page and held it out to Carl. “I learned something new!” On the page was a map of the USA with the age of consent for each state on it. Negan leaned forward in his seat, waiting for Carl to read it over.

Carl couldn't help but smile slightly at the grin on Negan's face and took the paper from him, silent as he read it over. "Age of consent is only sixteen here?" he asked, surprised. He had never really bothered to think about the fact that maybe eighteen wasn't the age of consent. He had just always assumed that it was the same everywhere.

Negan bit his bottom lip as he nodded excitedly. “Yeah!” He laughed, running a hand through his hair in slight disbelief. He had doubted his coworkers' words, but once finding it online he trusted it. He stood and made his way to Carl, beaming. “Yeah,” he said softer.

Carl bit his lip, absently bending the corner of the paper as he glanced at the door to make sure it was shut. “I mean, that’s good, yeah. But you’d still probably get in a lot of trouble, right?” he asked quietly. “I mean, I’m a student.”

Negan sighed. He’d looked that up too. “Unfortunately, yes. It’s prohibited for teachers or school staff to engage in a sexual relationship with a student,” he said, rattling off what he’d read. “Even if that student is of consenting age.” Negan sat back down in his chair, rubbing his face. “But, I mean, at least it would only be  _ that _ getting me in trouble and not your age. I feel like it’s easier to get around the teacher-student thing than the age thing.” He shrugged. He didn’t really have a good answer. What they were doing was  _ technically _ wrong, but at least it wasn’t as wrong as he had thought.

Carl hummed thoughtfully. “Yeah, we still gotta be super extra careful. I wouldn’t be able to stand myself if I got you fired or something,” he sighed, handing the paper back to Negan. “So, what’re we gonna do for the whole period? Just chill?”

“Of course, of course,” Negan nodded. He hadn’t meant that they should just announce their status to the world. He had just been excited. Negan folded the paper in half twice and ripped it in half twice before tossing it in the recycle bin. Just in case. He wheeled his chair back behind his desk and grabbed his Tupperware of food. “Well,  _ I’m _ going to eat. You’re free to do whatever,” he said, quirking his eyebrow as he took a bite.

Carl nodded, laying back down and getting comfortable again. He wasn’t going to go to sleep, he just wanted to be more comfortable. His ribs still ached slightly, but he’d honestly gotten used to it at this point. “Shane stopped by my room last night. He didn’t even have a chance to say anything though, since my dad called him downstairs so they could watch a movie.” He rolled his eye. “I spent the whole night in my room, and I’m not even sure my parents noticed,” he muttered.

Negan leaned forward on his desk to see Carl better, taking another bite of his food. He frowned. Carl is gone the whole weekend, his mom wants him home, and then they ignore him? Strange. “Well, I’m glad he didn’t have the chance to do anything,” Negan said softly. “You never texted me, by the way. I was worried.” He tilted his head. “Did you want me to start up the paperwork…?”

Carl frowned, feeling bad. "Sorry, I didn't even think about it. I just did homework and studied until I fell asleep," he said with a slight shrug. Then he sighed. "I'm not even sure we should report him. Nothing will come of it anyway. I mean, he's a cop, not to mention my dad's best friend. And my dad's the fucking sheriff, so if he ends up not believing me, we're screwed."

Well, at least he was doing his homework, but that was the least of Negan’s worries right now. He furrowed his brow. “Why wouldn’t he believe his own son, Carl? You’re covered in proof, and in any sense, you’re hurt. Both of your parents should want to help you!”

“They wouldn’t care. They frickin’ love Shane. It’s ridiculous. Like I said, they didn’t even seem to notice that I spent all night in my room last night,” Carl said with a frown.

Negan sighed, setting his half-eaten food down. He stood and came round his desk, sitting next to Carl on the futon, facing his head, and reaching out to place the back of his hand against Carl’s cheek. “Maybe they were giving you space?” Negan suggested. “Your mom obviously worries if she’s texting you. Could you tell her? I just… I want to help, Carl. I know I say that so much, but I do, and there’s only so many ways I know how to do that.”

“I know, and I’m not trying to be difficult,” Carl sighed, looking down. “I just feel like it’s all pointless. I mean, I feel like he’s always gonna have some kinda hold on me, like he’ll always be able to get to me. He could be dead, and I’d still be scared. I hate it,” he muttered bitterly.

Negan frowned, brushing the hair away from Carl’s face softly. “Even if you don’t want to press charges, if you want to choose to live with this burden, it will get better. You’ll grow up, you’ll move away. At some point, he’ll stop.” Negan wished Carl would eat so he could get strong enough to fight back, but he wasn’t going to bring it up. “And before that, you can come to me. I’ll always be here for you, Carl.”

Carl sighed, curling up and leaning against Negan. He wasn’t sure he wanted to press charges. Yeah, Negan made a good point. He only had seven or so months until he turned eighteen and graduated, but Judith would still be there. Shane had never shown any hint of wanting to hurt Judith the way he had hurt Carl, but then again, up until a year ago, Shane hadn’t seemed like he wanted to hurt Carl as he did.

“I wish I could think of it that way, but there’s still Judith,” he sighed softly. “When I leave, there’s nothing stopping him from going after her instead.”

Negan wanted to yell. There was a way, and that would be to report Shane now so he couldn’t do shit later. God, Negan had half a mind to just do it himself. Submit the paperwork without a statement from Carl. He had enough physical evidence. He could do it. Maybe call in an anonymous tip to Carl’s dad. He hated just sitting by and letting this happen. He became a guidance counselor to help kids, not watch them suffer.

His jaw clenched slightly as he thought this over, his hands fidgeting in his lap. He sighed out his nose and closed his eyes.

Carl noticed that Negan seemed to be agitated, and leaned away, curling in on himself. He hated feeling like he was bothering Negan like he was a burden. He knew he was, but being reminded like this didn’t make him feel any better. He cleared his throat. “Do you really think reporting him would help?” he asked, so quiet it was almost hard to hear him.

Negan looked at Carl. Had he scared the boy away? Crap. He reached out and placed his hand softly on the boy’s arm, running his thumb back and forth over it. “I really do, Carl,” he said softly back.

Carl flinched, surprised at the touch, then relaxed. He was silent for a few moments, then took a deep breath. “Th-then we should r-report h-him,” he stuttered, trying to ignore the wave of anxiety that washed over him.

Negan looked at Carl, studying the boy. He ran his hand up and down the boy’s arm. “Really? You’re going to be okay with that? You’re going to need to be strong through the process. Can you do that for me, Carl?” Negan trailed his hand to Carl’s hand, taking it and squeezing it.

Carl nodded before he could overthink and talk himself out of it. He laced his fingers with Negan’s, nervously bouncing his leg. “Yeah, I can do that,” he mumbled.

Negan nodded, giving him a small smile. “You’ll need to fill out a statement in your own words about what has happened and has been happening, and I’ll fill out my forms documenting what I’ve talked with you about and a description of your injuries. I can… include pictures, but that’s not required,” Negan explained. He squeezed Carl’s hand again before glancing at his closed door. He leaned down over Carl and placed a quick peck to his lips, hoping to calm him in any way he could. “You don’t have to do it right now, but soon, okay?”

Carl nodded again, smiling slightly at the peck on the lips before hugging Negan tightly. “Thank you,” he murmured, burying his face in his chest.“Do you think I should try and tell my parents later?” he asked quietly. As much as the idea scared him, it’d be easier to report Shane if he had his parents on his side.

Negan ran a hand up and down Carl’s back. “They will need to know eventually,” he explained, nodding. “Either you can tell them, or I can when I submit the form. They will also be questioned at some point, statements taken. I’m sure that even if they don’t know exactly what’s happening, they’ve noticed something.”

Carl sighed, looking up at Negan with a frown. "What if they don't believe me?" He suddenly got an idea, and hesitated before saying, "What if you talked to them with me? They'll probably believe me more if there's someone else backing me up."

Negan nodded. “Sure, I can do that,” he shrugged like it was nothing. “I can bring my files and notes and they can look through them. Parents do tend to believe what they read more than what their kids say.” He smiled down at Carl. “Don’t worry. We’ll make them believe and we’ll get Shane locked up.” He tucked a piece of Carl’s hair behind his ear softly.

Carl nodded. "Thank you," he murmured, hugging him tighter. "Would you be able to come over after school so we can talk to them? I just wanna get this all over with," he admitted quietly. Now that he had actually agreed to report Shane and tell his parents, he just wanted it all to be done so he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. "Both my mom and my dad have off today, they always have Mondays off."

Negan rubbed his cheek on the top of Carl’s head. “Sure, Carl. I’ll get all my stuff together this afternoon and drive you home, yeah?” Negan was buzzing with the excitement of getting the ball rolling on this. He wanted Carl to be safe so badly.

Carl nodded again. He sat with Negan a moment longer before standing with a groan. "Gotta go to the bathroom," he explained, absently adjusting his shirt before leaving the room. Negan sighed and went back to his lunch as he started printing out the forms he’d need later.

…

After the last period ended, Carl packed up his things in his backpack and went straight to Negan's office.  Negan had spent the rest of the day getting together his file on Carl, rereading what he’d written from the first day he met him, and updating it with the new info he knew now. Since Carl had told him a lot of things while at his house, a few of the details regarding the times and date Carl had told him these facts were fuzzy, but nothing anyone would notice.

His door was propped open as the last bell rang. He packed everything up and slipped it into his bag. He brushed his hair back with his hand and took a deep breath. Time to meet the parents.

Negan waved at Carl as he arrived, standing and slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Alright, you ready?” he asked, walking over to the door, closing and locking it as they left.

Carl nodded, nervously tapping his fingers against his thigh as he walked with Negan to his car. "You really think they'll believe me?" he asked, looking up at Negan anxiously.

"I don't see why they wouldn't, Carl. Seems kinda dumb for this to all be made up, especially if you're getting the school guidance counselor involved," Negan shrugged. He knew Carl was just anxious, and Negan was too, but he kept it inside, hoping his cool outer demeanor would help Carl calm down. He unlocked his car as they got to it and climbed in, starting it up and waiting for Carl to climb in and put on his seatbelt. It was amazing how this was becoming such a normal thing for them.

Carl sighed as he sat down and buckled up. The fact that Negan was so calm was calming him a bit, but he couldn't help but still feel anxious. He bounced his leg, staring out the window as Negan started to drive. A sudden thought popped into his head, making him frown, and he couldn't help but ask Negan about it. "Negan, after all this is done with, and Shane is locked up… are we still gonna be able to hang out?" That was what he asked, but he really wanted to ask was, ' _Are you even still going to want to hang out with me when you won't_ have _to_?'

Negan snorted and flicked a glance over to Carl at his question. "Of course! We'll figure something out. My room is always open at school, and maybe I can get you on the weekends?" He smiled at him and reached over to squeeze Carl's shoulder. "I'm not gonna drop you, kid. I like you a lot. I want to keep spending time with you."

Carl nodded, leaning back against his seat and relaxing a bit. The closer they got to his house, though, he became more anxious again, bouncing his leg. He scratched at his wrist simply for something to do with his hands, but the skin became red and raw because of how he was scratching at it. He only noticed once they had reached his house, and he automatically stopped himself but made no move to get out of the car.

Negan turned off the engine outside of Carl’s house and looked over at the boy. He noticed his wrist and sighed. Placing his hand over the reddened skin, Negan studied Carl’s face saying, “Alright. You ready?”

Carl chewed on his lower lip, anxiety coursing through him. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, glancing at his house with fearful eyes. “What if they don’t believe me? What if he’s here? I can’t talk to them if he’s here.”

“Carl, calm down. Do you see his car anywhere?” Negan asked, looking around. The road was pretty bare, but there were a few. “If anything, I’ll go to the door with you, introduce myself, and say you had missed the bus and I drove you home.”

Carl looked around but didn’t see his car. “His car isn’t here,” he mumbled. He forced himself to calm and get out of the car, slinging his book bag over his shoulder as he stood. He tapped his finger against his thigh as he stared at his house nervously.

Negan followed Carl out of the car, grabbing his own bag with his files and forms. He walked over to Carl and gave him a small smile. “Come on. Deep breath. In through your mouth, out through your nose,” Negan said, following his own words as well. “It’s going to be fine, Carl. I’m going to fix this.”

Carl did as he said, taking a deep breath. This was going to go fine. They were gonna believe him. They had to. They were his parents, after all. “Okay,” he sighed after a moment of calming himself down. “Let’s go do this, I guess,” he mumbled.

Negan nodded and placed his hand on Carl’s shoulder, softly encouraging him forward and walking with him to the front door. He dropped his hand as they reached the porch, reminding himself that he was going to have to keep his hands to himself during this. He waited for Carl to open the door.

Carl pulled his key from his book bag and unlocked the door, walking in and dropping his bag on the ground near the door. “Mom?” he called, walking towards the kitchen. She usually had a snack when he got home from school.

Negan followed Carl in, closing the door behind him and keeping close to the boy. He looked around the house. It was a pretty nice, middle-class house. Negan couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but he kept his eyes open, cataloging everything.

Carl led the way into the kitchen. His little sister, who was only one, sat in her high chair eating some Cheerios. His mother was leaning against the counter, her phone to her ear. She didn’t notice Negan at first, and simply gave Carl a look that told him to give her a minute.

Negan looked around the kitchen, waving to the little girl in the highchair.  _ Must be Judith _ , he thought. She was adorable with those blonde curls. Negan spotted Carl’s mother but realized she was on the phone and hadn’t seen him. Negan felt right awkward and took a step closer to Carl.

Carl nervously bounced his leg as he waited for his mother’s attention. Finally, Lori ended the call and slipped her phone in her pocket before turning to them. She looked at Negan with a slight frown, surprise clear in her eyes. “And who’s this?” she asked, looking at Carl for an answer.

“M-my um guidance c-counselor,” Carl said nervously.

“Good afternoon, mam,” Negan said, stepping forward. He pulled one of his business cards out of his bag and held it out to her. “My name is Negan Morgan. I’m the guidance counselor at your son’s school. I do hope I’m not interrupting anything, but Carl has been talking to me for a couple of weeks now, and has asked me to come here with him to help bring something to your and your husband’s attention.”

Lori’s frown deepened as she took his card. “Rick’s up in the shower. He got here a few minutes before you,” she informed them, slipping the card into her pocket. “What’s going on?”

“I w-wanna wait for d-dad,” Carl mumbled.

“Yes, I agree with Carl. I’d rather we tell both of you at the same time,” Negan said, nodding. “Is there somewhere we could all sit down?”

Lori sighed, still wanting to know why they were even here. She led them to the living room. “Make yourself comfortable,” she said to Negan. “Would you like anything to drink, Mr. Morgan?”

Carl silently sat on the couch, curling in on himself and pulling his knees to his chest. He heard the water shut off upstairs, meaning his dad was out of the shower.

“Please, call me Negan, and no thank you. I’m fine,” he said, taking a seat next to Carl, but not too close. A normal distance away. He wanted so bad to reach over and comfort the boy, but instead, he started digging through his bag and placing his files out on the coffee table in front of him.  Carl watched Negan as he pulled all the files out, trying to keep himself from getting too nervous.

Lori watched him suspiciously for a moment, but then Judith started to shout. “Ma! Ma!” She went back into the kitchen to see what her daughter needed.

Negan watched Lori leave and turned to Carl, touching his arm gently. “Hey, it’s alright. This is going just fine.” He gave Carl a little smile.

Carl flashed him a weak smile, biting his lip as he glanced towards the kitchen.

...

Rick walked down the stairs, running his hand through his damp hair when Lori came up to him looking a little off. “Hey, what’s goin’ on?” he asked, cocking his head to the side and following her back into the kitchen.

“Carl’s guidance counselor is here, says Carl has been talking to him for weeks,” Lori said with a frown. “Do you have any idea what could be going on?”

“Weeks?” Rick’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head. “I have no idea. Carl’s seemed fine as far as I can tell. You know he spends a lot of time in his room, but what teen doesn’t?” Rick hummed and scratched at his short beard. “Let’s go find out, yeah?” He gestured for Lori to lead the way.

Lori sighed and nodded. She wiped Judith’s face and hands with a wipe before picking her up. As they walked past him, the girl reached out for Carl, so Lori simply passed the girl to him. Carl grinned at Judith, focusing solely on her to keep himself from getting nervous as his parents sat down on the armchairs facing him and Negan.

Negan smiled as Lori and Rick walked in, standing and holding out his hand to Rick. “Hello, sir. I’m Negan Morgan, a guidance counselor from your son’s school,” he said, guessing that Lori had explained a bit but still wanting to introduce himself.

Rick took Negan’s hand and shook it, nodding to the man. “Rick Grimes,” he replied before sitting down. He looked Negan over, before flicking his eyes to the files on the table. “Care to explain what’s going on?”

Negan looked over to Carl holding Judith. “Would you like to tell them, or would you rather I do it?” he asked Carl gently.

Carl glanced up and opened his mouth, looking like he was going to speak. But then he chickened out and quickly shook his head, turning his attention back to his sister. It had been hard enough to tell Negan, but Negan didn’t even know Shane, so he really had no reason not to believe him. His parents on the other hand… he just didn’t know.

Negan nodded and turned back to Rick and Lori. He didn’t think Carl was going to be able to tell his parents, but he wanted to give him the option. Clearing his throat, Negan steepled his fingers together and looked to Lori and then to Rick. “Mr. and Mrs. Grimes, your son is being abused. He says it’s by a man named Shane Walsh.” Negan paused, letting the words sink in.

Rick stared at Negan, speechless. That… that couldn’t be possible. Rick looked at Carl and then over at his wife. “What?” he breathed.

_ Oh God, here it comes _ . His dad wasn’t gonna believe him. Even though he had expected it, the mere thought hurt.

Lori frowned. “That...That can’t be true! Shane sees you as a son,” she said indignantly.

Carl bit his lip as he felt himself tear up. Great, his mom didn’t believe him. Exactly what he had been afraid of.

Rick’s brows furrowed and he reached out towards his wife. Negan’s words didn’t make sense. Shane was his best friend. He’d never been violent towards Carl in his life. But… would Carl have gone through the trouble of talking to a counselor for nothing? Rick needed to get to the bottom of this. “What do you mean abused? What is happening? Son, what is... Shane doing to you?”

Negan fished his glasses out of his shirt pocket, putting them on and reaching for a file. He looked at Carl. “You want to answer, or me?” He wanted to always give Carl the option to speak up. Negan knew that parents trusted him, but they trusted their kids more.

“W-well, he hit m-me, and he...” Carl took a breath, not meeting anyone’s eyes, shame clear on his face. “He… he r-raped me.” He said it so quietly, he wasn’t completely sure anyone had heard him.

Lori stared at him in shock, speechless.

Negan closed his eyes, nodding softly. He was proud of the boy for speaking up. He took a breath before opening the first file. The top page showed a drawing of an outline of a person that Negan had colored in where he’d seen the bruises on Carl. There was also a description next to the drawing and Negan’s notes of his thoughts on what had happened, vague since Carl hadn’t told him specifics. Under that were pages of notes from when Carl had come into his office and talked to him. He slid the file to the other side of the table, towards the parents. “Here are my notes and meeting transcripts,” he said softly.

Rick registered that Negan was talking to them, but he couldn’t stop staring at Carl. He felt his hands starting to shake. “Carl…” He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to believe it. Didn’t want to believe his best friend was hurting and violating his child. Didn’t want to believe that his son had been abused in such a way. But here they were. Talking to a counselor. Listening to Carl. Rick sniffed, trying to keep his eyes from watering. “Carl, when did this start?”

Carl angrily wiped away the tears on his cheeks. He didn’t want to cry, not in front of his parents, not in front of Negan. Well, not in front of Negan  _ again _ . “Um...” He paused to think. “A little over a year ago? Actually, a year and a half ago, I’m pretty sure,” he muttered, smiling slightly as Judith started to play patty cake with him.

Lori shook her head slowly. “Shane… Shane wouldn’t...” She shook her head and fell silent again, taking in the information. It just didn’t make sense. She  _ knew _ Shane, and he loved Carl. He wouldn’t do this. But… here they were.

Rick ran his hands down his face. A whole year and a half. His child had been being abused under his own roof for a  _ year and a half _ and he hadn’t seen the signs. Hadn’t noticed anything. God, he felt like a shitty father. He looked over at Lori at her words. “Lori, I don’t want to believe that Shane would do this anymore than you, but… Carl wouldn’t make this up. Wouldn’t get a professional involved if he was. These are  _ serious _ accusations,” he said, trying to convince himself as well as his wife.

“Mam,” Negan said softly. “I’ve been in this field for a decade, I’ve seen a lot of cases, and I can tell you that it is  _ always _ a person who you would never suspect.” He sighed and took his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Most kids don’t even seek help until it’s much much too late. I’m very proud of Carl for coming to me when he did.”

Rick could feel his heart breaking in his chest. His own son had to turn to a stranger in a time of need. “Carl, why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

Carl frowned. “Are you kidding?” He was angry, all of a sudden. He wasn’t completely sure why, but he was angry. “You guys are hardly ever here! And when you are here, Shane’s either around or you guys don’t even notice that I’m hiding in my room! Plus, you guys love Shane  _ so much. _ I just always figured you’d take his side,” he said the last part quieter, adding it almost as an afterthought. That was the real reason, the fear that they’d take Shane’s side over his.

Lori looked surprised at Carl’s sudden anger, but also couldn’t stop the guilt that flooded her. Everything he had said was true. They hadn’t exactly been checking in with him very much lately, let alone spending time with him.

Rick grimaced at Carl’s words, knowing they were true. He’d been staying later at work and Shane  _ had _ been visiting quite often. Rick just assumed he was lonely. He didn’t realize he had… ulterior motives. “Carl, I’m so sorry. We just… thought you were being a moody teenager and wanted to give you your space.” Rick sighed, looking at his son. “We didn’t know. We should have checked on you more. I’m sorry.”

Negan nodded, fidgeting with his glasses. “Parenting is hard, and so is being a teen. Communication is required on both ends,” he said softly, trying not to interrupt but wanting to help ease the parents’ tension. It wouldn’t do good to have them blaming themselves.

Negan watched as Rick slowly reached forward to take the file he had opened earlier. Negan turned to Carl and asked, “Carl, why don’t you show your parents the bruises?” It was one thing to talk about your kid being abused, but sometimes the parents needed the physical evidence to really hit it home. Though the Grimes’ seemed to be taking it alright as is, it never hurt to put a little shock into them. Negan held his hands open to Carl, asking to hold Judith so that Carl could show the bruises.

Carl sighed and gently passed Judith to Negan. She looked up at him curiously, not knowing who he was. Then she looked back over at her brother, reaching for him. Carl kept his gaze on the ground as he lifted his shirt up. The bruises were fading, but still visible all over his chest. After a moment, he turned slightly to show more faded bruises and a small but deep scar on his side, that was probably a few months old and that even Negan hadn’t seen. There were also the little divots that were left when someone dug their nails into your skin on Carl’s hip, though they were mostly hidden by his pants.

“Boo-boo!” Judith exclaimed, pointing to Carl. Negan bounced Judith lightly on his knee, taking her hand and rubbing the back of it softly.

Lori gasped, shock clear on her face. It was hard to imagine Shane doing this to him, but here was the evidence. She felt like a terrible mother. How had she missed all the signs?

Rick stared in shock as Carl lifted his shirt.  _ Holy- _ He took a deep breath and let it out slow, looking down at Negan’s file in his hands and then back up at Carl.  _ Jesus _ , there were more injuries on Carl than what was even in the file. He closed it and put it back on the table.

Standing up, Rick made his way to Carl and pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head. “Carl… Carl, I am so sorry.” Rick was torn between wanting to comfort his son and wanting to go out and beat the life out of Shane. He hugged Carl tighter.

Carl flinched slightly in surprise at the contact, but then relaxed and hugged him back easily. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Lori joined the hug. "Carl, it's not your fault," she said softly, brushing some hair behind his ear.

Negan smiled at the group hug progressing. He was so happy this was going so well. He knew Carl would be so much more relaxed knowing that his parents believed him and trusted him and loved him.

Rick adjusted his arms in order to hug Lori and Carl at the same time, squeezing them both. “I love you, Carl. I’m not going to just stand around and let Shane, or anyone, do this to you.” He released his hug and rubbed Carl’s head playfully. “Don’t worry, son. I’ll make sure Shane answers for this.”

Negan perked up at that. “Oh, I have forms for you to fill out to do just that!” He pointed to the other files he had on the table. “I know as an officer you probably already know this, Mr. Grimes, but you won’t be able to work your son’s case. Conflict of interest and all that.”

Rick nodded at Negan’s words. “Yes, I’m aware. I’ll do my best to get it pushed to the top of the pile at least.”

Lori kissed her son's forehead. "I love you, kiddo," she said softly with a weak smile and watery eyes.

Carl pulled away from his parents after a moment, knowing they'd want to take a look at the forms and such. He gently took Judith back from Negan and started to play patty cake with her again.

As Carl took Judith back, Negan fished a couple of pens out of his bag and set them on the table. “This file has forms for you to write statements about your general whereabouts during the abuse. Essentially, your alibis and also why you didn’t notice it happening,” Negan said with a small grimace. “It’s not to make you look like bad parents, it’s to help prove you didn’t allow this to happen on purpose. This file contains forms that I just need signatures on. They’ll look familiar to you, I’m sure, Mr. Grimes.”

Rick flipped open the second file. Arrest forms. Already filled out with Shane’s name and offense. He nodded, sighing.

Negan pointed to the file closest to Carl. “Carl, that one is for your statement. It requires a description of the events from the beginning, and I know it’s hard, but I need you to try and remember everything and be descriptive. Also, I need all of your permissions to take pictures to include in the case.” Negan looked to each person in the room, eyes lingering on Carl.

Lori looked through the first file that Negan had given them as she sat back down.

“Everything?” Carl asked with a frown, his eyes on the file. He tried so hard to  _ forget _ everything, and now he was supposed to bring it all back and write it down? He glanced up, considering. “I mean if the pictures will help...” he shrugged.

“Pictures are easier for people to understand,” Rick said, picking up a pen and clicking it, starting to go through the arrest forms and reading before signing. “I give my permission for them to be taken. It will help a lot.” He sighed. The reaction from him and Lori were enough to prove that.

Negan nodded at Rick’s words, turning back to Carl. “Everything you can. I know you don’t want to remember, but… it does help.”

Lori sighed, starting to fill out one of the forms. “I give my permission as well, as long as Carl’s okay with it,” she said, looking at her son. He just nodded. 

Carl sighed at Negan’s words. He gently set Judith down on the couch beside him and grabbed the file, looking through the papers inside. The doorbell cut through the quiet, making him stiffen in his seat. No one was supposed to come over today, but it wasn’t unusual for Shane to stop by on unplanned visits.

Rick looked at Carl, noticing the way he stiffened at the sound of the bell. Had he always done that? Rick was going to be watching Carl so much more closely now. He stood. “I’ll get it,” he said through gritted teeth, his fists clenching. If it was Shane, which he suspected it was, the man was going to get a piece of his fist.

But, as he walked past Negan, the other man reached out and calmly took hold of his arm. Rick looked down at him in confusion. 

“If it is Shane, do not lose yourself. You do not want to gain your own assault charges,” Negan said, cooly and quietly. “Take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Slowly.”

Rick glared down at the man but he couldn’t hold it. There was something inherently relaxing about Negan. Rick wondered if it was just a part of his personality or if it had been picked up from his job. Rick closed his eyes and did the breathing as Negan suggested, actually feeling himself calm down. Negan let go of him and he went to the door. He opened it just wide enough that his entire body filled the opening and kept his hand on the knob, ready to slam it shut.

Shane stood on the porch, flashing Rick an easy grin as he opened the door. He didn’t seem to notice how tense the man was. “Hey man, how are ya?” he asked.

“Heya, Shane.” Rick gave a tight smile to Shane and stepped outside, closing the door behind him and standing in front of the knob.

…

Negan tapped his fingers together, listening for some indication of who it was at the door. When he heard Rick say Shane’s name and then the door close, muffling his voice, Negan looked up at Lori. “Mam, with your permission, may I take Carl up to his room? To remove him from proximity?”

Lori nodded, standing and picking Judith up from the couch. "Go on up, Carl will show you the way," she said, heading into the kitchen to find some takeout menus. She had no doubt this paperwork would take a while, and even though she personally had no appetite, she wanted to get some food in case anyone got hungry.

Carl stood and silently led the way to his room, Negan on his heels. He plopped on his bed, watching Negan as he walked in. He wanted to know why the hell Shane was here in the first place. He knew that his parents and Negan wouldn't let Shane get anywhere near him, but he couldn't help but feel anxious.

Negan closed the door as he walked in and looked around Carl’s room. Some posters on the walls and clothes thrown around. A standard teen’s room. He smiled at Carl and sat down next to him, reaching out to place a warm hand on his back. “Hey, how are you doing? This is going really well, Carl. I told you they’d believe you, huh?” Negan glanced at the door before leaning over and pecked Carl on the temple quickly. “I’m really proud of how you’re handling this.”

Carl sighed, leaning against him tiredly. "I just want it to be over and done with," he mumbled. "Are you gonna stay while we fill out all those papers?" he asked, looking up at Negan.

“Yes, of course. I’ll stay until they’re all filled out. I could actually leave the arrest forms with your dad, but I’ll take them to the station myself just in case. Conflict of interest and all,” Negan explained, rubbing Carl’s back. “It’ll be over soon, Carl. I’ll see to it, and so will your parents. You’re safe now.”

...

Rick put on a smile he hoped was convincing. “I’m doing fine. Lori is trying to put Judith down, but she’s being fussy, so I don’t think you can hang right now. She needs it as quiet as possible, you know?” Rick shrugged, as nonchalantly as he could.

Shane nodded in understanding. "Well, good thing I'm not really here to see you then, huh?" he joked. "I was plannin' on takin' Carl out for another driving lesson. He's home, right? School ended like an hour ago."

Rick shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. He could feel a spike of rage surge through him. How many  _ driving lessons _ had he let Shane take Carl on? “Sorry, Shane. Not tonight. Carl’s got a report to write that he procrastinated on. Due tomorrow.” Rick shrugged. “Kids.” Rick dropped his arms, reaching one out to place his hand on Shane’s shoulder. “Hey, why don’t you and I go to the bar? Have a few drinks and shoot the shit?” He leaned in. “I’m kinda sick of hearing Judith cry, you know what I’m saying?” He flashed him what he hoped was a convincing smile.

Shane sighed, disappointed, then returned Rick's smile. "Sure thing. Wanna take my car or yours?" he asked.

“I’ll drive. Let me go get my keys.” Rick said, quickly stepping back inside, closing and locking the door behind him, and grabbing his keys. He rapidly explained to Lori where he was going and what he was doing, promised he’d be home soon to help with the paperwork, kissed Judith on the head, and popped back out the front door. “Ok, let’s go! Usual place?”

Shane grinned. "Of course, they've got the best liquor in town," he said. He settled into the passenger seat of Rick's car easily.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Files are filled out, and Rick and Shane have a chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad everyone is enjoying this story! Your comments make my day! Thank you~ Enjoy~

Carl sighed softly, relaxing at Negan's comforting words. He didn't want Negan to leave, though he knew he had to eventually. He felt safe with him around.

Lori watched Rick's car pull away before she called upstairs, "He's gone. Rick went with him. Do either of you have any preference on what we get for dinner?"

Carl frowned at his mother's words. "Why would dad go with him?" he asked nervously, looking up at Negan.

Negan hummed at Lori’s words. “Maybe it was the only way to get him away from the house?” Negan guessed. “I’m sure he has a plan of some sort. He seems like a smart man.” He squeezed Carl’s shoulder. “I’m going to go answer your mother about dinner and thank her for offering to buy it for me. You wanna stay here?” Negan stood, walking to the door and looking back at Carl.

"I'll come down too. Might as well start writing everything down. The sooner I start, the sooner it'll be done with, right?" he asked with a tired smile.

Negan pat Carl’s head and gave him a smile back. “That’s the spirit,” he said, leading the way back downstairs. Carl followed him downstairs and went right into the living room, plopping down on the couch and grabbing the file and a pen. He sits for a moment, remembering before he starts to write. 

Negan found Lori in the kitchen holding take out menus. “Hello, Mrs. Grimes. I don’t have any dinner preferences, and I don’t think Carl does either. Thank you for offering to buy it. I can pay you back for my share.” He gave her a kind smile.

Lori shook her head. "Nonsense, you're a guest, and with how you're helping Carl… buying you dinner is the least I could do," she said with a little shrug. Yeah, sure, she knew he'd do this for any student that was in Carl's situation, and that, well, it was his job, but still, she wanted to pay him back somehow, even if it was with something as small as dinner.

Negan sighed softly. “I’m just doing my job, ma’am, but thank you. I appreciate it.” Negan leaned in closer to her and dropped his voice down a level, glancing towards the living room. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, it’s in the file your husband was reading, but Carl hasn’t been eating lately. His first visit to me was a while back, and from then to now he’s lost a  _ lot _ of weight. It’s a very touchy subject and hard for him to talk about with me.” He grimaced slightly. “I’m ninety-nine percent sure it is a result of the abuse, but it’s something I’d like you to keep an eye on for me.”

Lori sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I noticed him skipping dinner sometimes, but..." She played with the corner of one of the takeout menus, folding it and unfolding it repeatedly. "We really should've kept a closer eye on him."

Negan softly placed his hand over Lori’s fidgeting one. “I’m not here to tell you that you’ve been bad parents or how to be good ones,” he said, gently. “I’m just here to help make sure Carl is living in a safe space, and help him get over any trauma he has.”

Lori's hand stilled and she nodded, speaking as a sudden thought struck her. "Do you think we should put him in therapy? I know he'll probably reject the idea, but..." she shrugged a shoulder. "He probably needs it."

Negan took his hand off hers and leaned against the counter next to her. “Therapy for… the eating?” he asked, confused. “I think we should wait and see how he does once Shane is gone and his life can return to a better equilibrium before we start thinking about something like that.” He tapped his chin with his finger. “He is of course still allowed and encouraged to come see me during and after school if he so wishes.”

Lori shook her head. "Not specifically that, but for the whole thing. I mean, no one should go through all that, much less a kid." She pulled her phone from her pocket, typing in the number of the Chinese restaurant but not calling just yet. "Does he talk to you, like really talk to you? He seems to trust you." She hadn't seen much, but from what she had seen, Carl did seem to trust the man.

Negan nodded at her words. If Carl wanted therapy, he had a few people he could recommend for it. He looked at her when she asked her question. “Yes, I believe he does,” he said, smiling. It was nice to know that she could see the trust Carl had in him. “Some things are harder to get him to open up about, but he’s definitely a lot more open now than when he first came to me. The fact that I even convinced him to tell you about this is a phenomenal leap.” Negan shook his head, letting out a breath of incredulousness. “He was so worried you wouldn’t believe him about Shane, or that Shane would find out he was seeing me and do something to stop it.”

Lori bit her lip, saying quietly, "I wasn't sure I believed him, at first. It was just so sudden, you know? I mean, I thought he was hiding something, and I even thought I knew what it was, but," she paused and shook her head. "I never thought it was anything like this."

Negan nodded in understanding. He knew it’d be a shock of course, but he knew they’d come around. He tilted his head at Lori. “What did you think it was?”

Lori laughed quietly, seeming a bit embarrassed. "Honestly? I thought he was gay. I mean, he spent this past weekend at some random kid's house that I've never heard about before, and he didn't exactly give many details. I figured he had a secret boyfriend or something," she said with a shrug.

Negan smiled at Lori’s laugh and her words. Secret boyfriend indeed. “How would you feel if that was true though?” Negan asked. “I mean, it is possible he has more than one secret.” He wasn’t trying to out Carl, but he wanted to make sure his mom would be accepting of him for when he did, if he ever did, come out.

Lori sighed. "I wouldn't kick him out, or something extreme like that, but… I wouldn't agree with it," she said honestly. "It's just… a man is supposed to love a woman, not another man. At least, that's how I was raised."

Negan felt his breath stutter for a split second. Great. Just great. “Not to try and push my ideals on you, but… it is the twenty-first century and things have changed a  _ lot _ since we were kids.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “My advice to you though, if he does happen to come out to you, and I’m not saying he will, he hasn’t said anything to me about it, just… Don’t push him away. Don’t tell him it’s a bad thing. He’s been through  _ so much _ , he wouldn’t need that extra stress on him. You would not believe how many queer kids I get in my office who are so afraid of being in their own households.” Negan sighed and shook his head, hoping to get through to Lori some how. He knew it was almost a fool’s errand to try and change her mind completely, but maybe he could shift it just a little bit.

Lori sighed. "Yeah, I know. I wouldn't say anything to him, it just… doesn't sit right with me," she said with a shrug. "I'm gonna order some Chinese food. What would you like?" she asked.

Negan smiled tightly. Well. He tried his best. “I’ll just have chicken fried rice with some crab rangoon if you don’t mind. Thank you again for dinner.” He lightly touched her shoulder. “I’m going to go check on Carl.” With that, Negan went into the living room and set next to Carl on the couch, sighing heavily.

Carl glanced up as Negan sat beside him, frowning slightly and looking deep in thought, though he now turned his focus to Negan. "Everything okay?" he asked softly.

Negan nodded. “Yes, just fine. Your mom is just worried about you, as she should be,” he said, rubbing Carl’s back softly. “She’s ordering Chinese. I think she likes me.” Negan chuckled and smiled at Carl. He glanced at the form Carl was working on. “How goes that?” he asked, nodding towards the paper.

Carl flashed him a small smile in return, absently tapping the pen against his leg. He sighed, glancing at the paper before looking back at Negan. “I don’t think I’m even halfway through,” he admitted. “I hate thinking about it. It’s like, at the time that certain things happened, it was all kinda… fuzzy, I guess? Like it was happening in a dream or something. But now that I’m trying my best to remember it all, it’s like I remember it in excruciating detail,” he muttered, yawning quietly.

Negan nodded at Carl’s words. “Yeah, that’s normal. Your mind tries to block the pain, but it’s still there.” He continues rubbing Carl’s back. “Take a break if you need it. You have time.”

Carl nodded, leaning against him easily, forgetting where they are, for a moment. He pulled his knees to his chest and shifted slightly, getting more comfortable.

Negan stiffens slightly as Carl shifts, not sure how close Carl’s mother would define as  _ too close _ . Sure, she knows Carl trusts him, but how much is too much? He swallows thickly. Negan doesn’t lean into Carl, but he allows the boy to get comfortable and continues rubbing his back. This is surely okay. If not… well… they’ll burn that bridge when they come to it.

Carl fell asleep easily, breathing easy by time Lori walked back into the living room with Judith on her hip. She gave them an odd look but didn’t say anything as she set Judith down on the couch and picked up the file again.

Negan gave Lori a small smile. “Poor kid is so tuckered out from all the stress,” he said quietly with a small laugh. The hand on Carl’s back stilled, just resting there. He looked at Judith and smiled at her. “You have beautiful children, ma’am. I’m quite jealous. I always wanted kids but… my wife got sick before we got around to it.” He sighed, a sad smile on his face.

Lori nodded understandingly, smiling sadly at Negan as he mentioned his wife. ”That must’ve been difficult,” she murmured sympathetically. “Though, if you still wanted kids, you could always foster or adopt. Single parenting isn’t for everyone, though. I know I couldn’t do it.”

Negan shrugged, gently so as not to jostle Carl. “I’ve thought about it actually, but it would be a lot for me. I kind of consider the students that come to talk to me like my kids,” Negan said, gently brushing some hair away from Carl’s face. “I just want to help them all, you know?”

Lori nodded in understanding, smiling slightly at Negan’s motions. It was clear that he cared about Carl, and she liked that her son had someone to talk to, someone that he was able to go to for help when he felt like he couldn’t talk to his own parents.

Negan glanced up when the sound of a car coming up and parking in the driveway could be heard. It couldn’t be the food. That’d be way too fast. Which meant it was Rick. And Shane. Negan stiffened.

…

"So, how is Carl? Haven't gotten to see him very much these past few days, he's been stayin' at school late."

Rick drove the familiar path to their usual hole in the wall, his hands gripping the wheel just a hair tighter than usual. “He’s alright. He’s... made a new friend and they’ve been hanging out lately. I think it’s good for him. He needs the socialization,” Rick told Shane. Not exactly a lie, just a little bend in the truth.

Shane nodded, glancing out the window. Then he frowned as he remembered something, and looked back over at Rick. "You said he's been hangin' out with a friend? He told me he had tutoring." 

_ Fuck _ . Rick blinked before waving his hand in the air. “Y-yeah, he’s being tutored by this friend. That’s how they met.” He glanced over at Shane, trying to see if he bought it.  Shane gave him a suspicious look, but let himself forget about it as the bar came into view. Rick relaxed slightly as he pulled into the parking lot and parked the car, getting out quickly and shoving his keys into his pocket. He waited for Shane to get out to walk to the door with him.

Inside, Rick took a seat at the end of the bar, making sure there was a spot open next to him for Shane. He signaled to the bartender. “What do you want? Usual?” he asked Shane, keeping his voice light and natural.

Shane nodded, absently looking around the bar, smirking as he checked out a woman when she walked in.

Rick ordered the usual for him and Shane, passing Shane’s to him when it arrived. Rick had a Corona with lime, a simple enough beer that he could sip on and not get drunk. He noticed Shane eyeing a woman. She had long, brown hair, and Rick had to take a breath before he saw red. “So, what’s been going on with you? Anything new?” he asked Shane in a friendly tone.

Shane took a long sip of his own drink before looking over at Rick. "Nothing really. Same old, same old, ya know? How 'bout you?"

Rick shrugged as well, taking a sip of his drink. “You know. Kids, wife, all that,” he said, chuckling softly and glancing at Shane. “I’m actually thinking about taking a little vacation and just spending some more time with them. I feel like I’m gone so much, I don’t even know Carl anymore.”

Shane nodded thoughtfully. "You think we can really spare you, though? I mean, you know how busy we've been at the station lately," he remarked, seeming like he was trying to talk him out of it. He took another sip of his drink.

Rick eyed Shane softly. “The station will be fine. It’s  _ always _ busy, and I haven’t had a vacation in years,” he said, throwing a hand up. “I’m pretty sure Carl’s got spring break soon. I’m thinking we all just pack up and go on a trip somewhere. Get away for a week. Reconnect.” He sipped his beer as he looked at Shane.

Shane's smile slipped minutely. "Carl didn't tell you? He was plannin' on staying with me during spring break, helping me with some repairs around the house," he lied quickly. He had no doubt Carl would agree to the plans. The kid could be pretty stubborn, Shane would give him that, but he always gave in in the end.

Rick frowned, his grip tightening on his bottle. “Hmm, well he didn’t tell me that,” he said, waving his hand in the air. “But, I’m sorry. I’m going to have to pull the dad card here. I haven’t gotten to really spend time with Carl in like… a year or more. That’s just not okay.” Rick shook his head, taking another drink. He wanted to see just how much Shane was going to push this.

Shane sighed. "C'mon man, don't you think you should let Carl do what he wants? He's almost eighteen, and he's only gonna get more distant if ya keep forcin' him to do shit." He easily downed the rest of his drink.

Rick looked at Shane for a moment before turning and signaling for the bartender to bring another drink to Shane and then turning back to the other man. “That’s why this is the best time for me to get some family bonding in,” he argued back. “I haven’t been forcing him to do anything lately. I’ve been ignoring him lately, and I realized that if I don’t pay attention now, I’m going to  _ miss something _ .” The bartender brought the drink and Rick pushed it towards Shane, taking another sip of his own beer that was only about half gone.

Shane snorted. "There's not much you're missin', Rick. All he really does is go to school and study. He's nothing like we were when we were his age," he said with a laugh, taking a sip of his new drink.

Rick huffed. “He’s my kid, Shane. I’m gonna be there for him. I’m gonna teach him how to fish and shoot a gun. I’ll be in his corner his whole life.” Rick fiddled with his bottle. His stomach was turning. The only reason Shane would be so argumentative over this was if he didn’t want Rick alone with Carl because that would mean that his secret would be out. Rick didn’t want to believe it. Tried not to. But this. This sealed the deal. “Even if it’s just sitting on the couch, watching TV, I want to be there for him. This world is a cruel place with cruel people, and he’s already been through so much,” Rick gestured to his eye. “I want to protect him in any way I can.”

Shane rolled his eyes. "He's not a kid, anymore, Rick. Plus, it's not like you'll always be around," he pointed out.

“He’ll always be my kid, Shane. Can’t change that,” Rick said, taking a drink. “And that’s exactly why I need to spend time with him now. So that when I’m gone he’ll have the memories and skills that I’ve left behind.” He looked at Shane. “Maybe it’s hard for you to understand that because you don’t have kids.”

Shane made a face. "I could never do the whole dad thing anyway," he said with a shrug, taking a big gulp of his drink.

Rick scoffed softly at that. He wouldn’t trust Shane around any children now. “It’s not for the faint of heart,” he said, chuckling, trying to lighten the mood back up. He noticed that Shane’s drink is close to being gone again. “You want another?” Rick wasn’t sure what getting Shane drunk was going to accomplish. He wonders if maybe he should stop encouraging the man to drink, but part of him thinks a loose Shane will admit something or give him a reason to hit him over the head with a bottle. Another part just wants to take the man home so he can finish filling out the arrest forms.

Shane looked tempted, but he ended up shaking his head. “I shouldn’t, I’m gonna have to drive later, once we get back to your place,” he pointed out. “Unless… you wouldn’t mind me stayin’ the night, right?” Rick always let him stay over, so he figured he’d just say yes, like always.

Rick hummed and finished off his drink, finally. “Not tonight, Shane. Like I said earlier, Judith has been fussy and Lori is probably at her wit’s end. She is gonna kill me when I get home for leaving her alone with Judy.” He snorts and swirls the last drops of his drink around the bottom of his bottle. “Another time, yeah?” He reaches out and places his hand on Shane’s shoulder, squeezing softly.

Shane sighed. “Right, right. Well, yeah, ‘nother time,” he said with a grin. He finished his drink and stood. “We headin’ out, then? Gotta get you back to that wife of yours,” he laughed.

Rick nodded and paid the tab for the both of them, standing and gesturing for Shane to lead the way before following him out to the car.

Shane plopped into the passenger seat, getting comfortable and propping his feet up on the dash.  Rick rolled his eyes at the feet on his dash but didn’t say anything as he backed out and headed home.  Shane stayed quiet throughout the ride.

...

Once home, Rick turned off the car and stepped out quickly. “Well, thanks for going out with me, Shane. We’ll hang out for real soon, okay?” he said, standing in a way that blocked Shane from going towards the front door.

Shane flashed Rick a grin and nodded. “Tell Carl I said hi. He should come over this weekend since our spring break plans are gonna be canceled,” he suggested with a yawn, digging his keys out of his pocket.

Rick nodded and waved. “Sure. Will do. Drive safe!” He stood at the front door until Shane was in his car with the engine going before he went inside, closing and locking it quickly.

Rick leaned against the door, listening to the noise of Shane’s car, waiting for it to leave, before heaving out a heavy sigh. “I’m home,” he called. “Sorry about that.”

Negan turned his head. He couldn’t see the front door from where he was, not with Carl on him, but he felt relieved to know Rick was back. 

Lori glanced up from her papers. “Why’d you go to the bar with him in the first place?” she asked curiously. Carl stirred, shifting so he was pressed closer to Negan, his head on his chest, and fell back asleep easily.

Rick sighed as he came into the living room. He looked at Carl sleeping practically on top of Negan and his eyebrows shot into his hairline. Rick looked to Lori and then back at his son. He wasn’t sure if this was normal for guidance counselors or not, but his wife didn’t seem to have any qualms and Carl looked relaxed, so Rick didn’t say anything.

“He wanted to ‘take Carl out for driving lessons’ and my first instinct was to just get him away from the house,” Rick explained, coming over to sit in the chair next to Lori’s. He sighed. “But, I got to talk to him, and I didn’t ask him outright about anything, but he got really defensive when I talked about taking Carl away on a family vacation and spending more time with him. Like…  _ really _ defensive and insistent that I  _ don’t _ do that. Even tried to lie and say he and Carl had plans for spring break.” He groaned. “It was a confession as far as I’m concerned.”

Negan nodded at Rick’s words. He was so glad they were addressing this before spring break. Negan couldn’t imagine Carl being in Shane’s clutches for a whole week.

Lori sighed, seeming like she was about to say something when the doorbell rang. “That must be the food. He left already, right?” she asked Rick as she stood.

Carl stirred again as the bell rang, blinking his eye open. He yawned quietly but didn’t bother to move, still half asleep and thinking nothing of the way he was practically on Negan.

Rick hummed. He couldn’t remember if he’d heard Shane’s car pull away. “Wait, Lori,” he said before she could get too far. “Let me get it. Just in case.” He stood and put a hand on her arm before making his way to the door.

Negan looked down as Carl stirred. “Hey, Carl. I think the food is here. You awake?”

Lori nodded and sat back down, looking over at Carl as Negan spoke to him.

“I’m not hungry,” Carl mumbled sleepily, closing his eyes again.

Negan sighed, flashing a look to Lori at Carl’s words.

...

Rick answered the door the same way he had before, opening it only enough that he filled the entire space.

A blonde teen girl stood on the porch with the bag full of their Chinese food. “Lori?” she asked, sounding unsure. She wondered if she had the wrong house since the order had been put under the name ‘Lori’.

Rick relaxed, smiling at the girl and reaching to get his wallet. “Yeah, that’s my wife. You’re at the right place. Do I owe you anything, or did she pay over the phone?”

...

Lori frowned. “Carl? Can’t you just try and eat a little bit?”

Carl opened his eye with a frown. “What’s it matter?” He sat up, putting some space between him and Negan as he looked at him suspiciously. “What did you say to her?”

Negan opened his mouth and then closed it, having the audacity to look a little guilty. He looked over at Lori and then back at Carl. “Nothing that’s not in your file, Carl,” Negan said, truthfully.

Lori sighed. “Carl, you don’t need to keep hiding things from us. He didn’t do anything wrong by telling us.”

Carl scowled. “But it wasn’t...” He huffed. “It’s really not a big deal. There was no reason for him to say anything in the first place,” he muttered, annoyed.

Negan fidgeted with the hem of his shirt sleeve. “Carl, my job is to look out for your safety  _ and _ health. It… it is a big deal. I’m sorry I mentioned it without your permission, but as I said, it is in your file. They would have found out anyway…”

Rick came back into the room with the food, moving some of the files on the table to set it down there. “Found out what?” he asked, looking around. He could feel the sudden tension in the room and was concerned.

"That Negan and mom are making a big deal outta nothing," Carl said angrily, standing up and heading out of the room. "I'm goin' up to my room."

"Carl, you are not going upstairs. Sit back down," Lori said, soft but firm. He stopped by the entrance to the living room but didn't sit back down. Lori looked over at Rick and said, "Carl hasn't been really eating lately."

Rick frowned. “Carl, listen to your mother. Sit back down, son,” he said, voice level but stern. “I know you’re going through a lot right now, and we did a bad job at being there for you in the past, but we’re here for you now.” He started taking the food out of the bags, hoping the smell would attract Carl back over.

Negan looked back at Carl, apology all over his face. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He knew the boy was touchy about the subject of him eating, but it was a concern, and Negan had a right to tell Carl’s parents about it.

Carl curled up in the corner of the couch, crossing his arms over his chest. He ignored Negan when he looked at him, a scowl on his face.

Lori got together a small plate of noodles for Judith, since the noodles and rice were really the only things she ate when they got Chinese. She fed her, not wanting to get food everywhere if she let Judith eat it herself.

Negan took his food from Rick with a thank you, poking at his rice. Now  _ he _ wasn’t hungry. How could he be with Carl sulking because of him?

Rick held a plate of food out to Carl. “Carl. Eat,” he stated, his voice holding a ‘do not argue with me’ tone.

"You can't force me," Carl said petulantly, not even looking at Rick.

"Carl, listen to your father. Eat, even if it's just a little bit," Lori said, glancing over at him before continuing to feed Judith. He simply ignored her.

“Come on, son,” Rick held the plate closer to Carl. “You used to eat like it was going out of style. Why won’t you now? Is it something Shane did?” Rick’s voice got softer at the last question. He assumed it was since that was what was bringing them together, but he couldn’t think of what Shane could have done to just make Carl stop eating.

Negan watched the exchange between the family, taking mental notes, as he slowly started chewing on his crab rangoon.

"Does every single fucking thing have to be about Shane? I'm so tired of talking about Shane!" Carl exclaimed, shoving Rick's hand that held the plate away. "This is ridiculous, you're all making such a huge fucking deal out of nothing!"

"Carl! Language," Lori reprimanded automatically, surprised at Carl's sudden outburst.

Rick glared at Carl at the shove, clenching his jaw. He shut his eyes and sighed, setting the plate down. “Carl, it’s not  _ nothing _ . We’re just trying to help, which is hard when you don’t tell us anything.” He wondered if he’d been more attentive earlier on if this would be happening now. Would Carl have come to him instead of seeking outside help? Would Rick have noticed Shane’s behavior before it got this far?

But it didn’t matter. He couldn’t change the past. So, he had to try for a better future.

"I don't need help," Carl stated, clearly frustrated, but reining himself in. He didn't want to yell at his dad again, he was sure he wouldn't be so forgiving a second time. "You're blowing this way out of proportion. It's no big deal. It's not like I'm planning to off myself or something! I'm just not hungry."

Before Rick could say anything, Negan spoke up, softly, looking down at his hands, “Carl, do you know what happens when you stop eating? When you starve your body? When you’re at a weight that isn’t healthy for your height and age?” He clenches his fingers together. “Do you know how doctors help fix that problem?”

Carl groaned, looking over at Negan and glaring. "What? What the hell do they do?" he asked with a scowl. He was clearly angry with Negan, not seeming to get that he was just trying to help.

“You get a tube shoved down your nose that goes all the way into your stomach and you get pumped full of nutrient-dense brown mush day in and day out until you gain back enough weight to where there’s no fear of your organs shutting down from starvation,” Negan spat, starting to shake, tears springing to his eyes. From the way he spoke, it was obvious he’d seen this done before. Perhaps on someone close to him.

Carl looked like he was about to give a nasty reply, but Lori gave him a look, and he glanced back at Negan. He immediately softened upon seeing Negan's reaction, starting to feel a bit bad. "I didn't mean to upset anyone, okay? It doesn't seem like a big deal to me," he said quietly with a slight shrug. He wanted to hug Negan, but not in front of his parents. He didn't know how they'd react.

Negan sniffed and swiped at his face. “Y-your bathroom. May I?”

Rick nodded and pointed. “Down the hall there. Second door on the left.”

“Thank you,” Negan said, getting up and following the directions, locking himself in, just for a moment, to compose himself.

Rick gave Carl a hard look. “Carl, it’s a  _ big deal _ .” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You apologize to him when he comes back, you hear me? He’s just trying to help which  _ you _ went to him for.”

“It’s not like I knew he’d get upset,” Carl mumbled, pulling his knees to his chest with a sigh. He felt bad now. He really hadn’t expected Negan to get so upset, or his parents to really care so much. To him, it really wasn’t a big deal. Wanting to appease Rick and hopefully make Negan chill out and not be upset with him, as he probably was, Carl grabbed his plate and reluctantly took a bite of his food.

Rick reached over and patted Carl’s knee, giving him a small thankful smile. “I know, Carl. I know.” He sighed. “We’re just all a little stressed. This is a lot to take in. Look let’s just…” Rick looked over all the files on the table. “Let’s just get this paperwork done so we can move on, okay?”

Carl nodded, taking another bite of his food before setting the plate down and grabbing his file and pen again. After a few moments, though, he became concerned, since Negan still wasn't back. "Um, I gotta go… get something outta my room," he said as he stood from the couch. He left the room without waiting for a response, heading to the bathroom. 

Rick watched Carl get up, humming softly to himself as he signed the last arrest form. He reached for the whereabouts forms, looking over at Lori. “I told Shane I was going to take off work for Carl’s spring break and take us on a vacation, and I wasn’t lying. I’ve been working so much lately, and I want to spend more time with you and the kids.”

Lori glanced over at Rick, flashing him a smile. "Yeah, I think that'd be fun. We haven't done much as a family in a while." She looked back at Judith and fed her more noodles.

…

Carl gently knocked on the bathroom door and said softly, "Negan? You still in there?"

Negan gripped the edges of the sink as he hung his head and let silent tears fall into the basin.  _ Shit _ . He had to get a grip on himself.  He laughed wetly at Carl’s question, unlocking the door and cracking it open enough for Carl to come in. “Yeah, kid, I’m still here.” He sniffed and sat down on the edge of the tub, putting his head in his hands. “I’m sorry… I just… I...” He sighed.

Carl silently shut the door behind him as he walked into the bathroom, and stood in front of Negan, awkwardly shifting his weight. "No, it's okay, I just… I'm sorry. I guess I didn't realize how much it really upset you," he murmured. "I just… you know why I don't like to eat, it makes me feel gross. But I'll try. I'll try to eat more, and I'm... I'm not gonna end up in the hospital, or anything, okay? So you don't need to worry about it," he said softly.

Negan nodded slowly. He did know that, but that still didn’t explain  _ why _ Carl felt like that. Negan reached forward and put his hands softly on Carl’s hips, pulling him forward to stand between Negan’s knees. Negan rested his forehead against Carl’s stomach and sighed. “Thank you for trying. I just… never want to see another person with a feeding tube for as long as I live.”

Carl sighed softly, absently running his fingers through Negan's hair. "Was it your wife?" he asked quietly, without thinking. "Sorry, I know you probably don't wanna talk about it," he corrected himself quickly.

Negan tensed at Carl’s question, but he nodded softly against him. “Yeah… it was. She was…” Negan took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around Carl and bringing him closer. “Before she was ever sick, she was bulimic,” he explained softly. “You know what that is, right?”

Carl nodded. "Yeah, I know what that is. Must've been hard to see her go through that," he remarked quietly, looking down at Negan with a slight frown.

Negan nodded again but didn’t say anything. He just wanted to hold the boy for a moment and let the memories fade. He ran his fingers absentmindedly up and down Carl’s back, nuzzling his face into Carl like a cat.  Carl hummed softly, continuing to play with Negan's hair, giving him a minute.

Negan loved the feeling of Carl’s fingers in his hair. It helped calm him immensely. After a couple of minutes, Negan looked up at Carl, resting his chin on Carl’s sternum. “We should probably go back out before your parents start wondering where we are.”

Carl sighed. "Yeah, you're right." He leaned down to kiss him softly and grinned as he pulled away. "Hm, I think I like being the taller one," he joked.

Negan laughed and reached up, cupping Carl’s cheek in his hand. “Remind me to kneel down for you when we’re alone, hmm?” he said, a gleam in his eye, before standing and kissing the top of Carl’s head. “I’m going to leave first. Wait a minute before you come back, ok?” He tucked some of Carl’s hair behind his ear. “Thank you, Carl.” With that Negan opened the door and went back to the living room.

Rick looked up as he heard footsteps approaching, seeing Negan enter the room. The man didn’t look any worse for wear besides some slightly puffy eyes. Rick hummed softly. “We’ve finished signing these,” he said, passing the arrest forms back to Negan. 

Negan nodded and took the forms, flipping through them to check them over. “Okay, very good.” He slipped the file into his bag before looking around. “Where’s Carl?” he asked.

Lori looked over at him and said, "He said he went up to his room for something, I don't know what, though. I'm gonna go clean Judith up and then put her to bed so I can finish up these forms." She stood, picking Judith up from the couch and leaving the room, heading to the upstairs bathroom.

Carl walked back into the living room right as Lori was leaving, and he sat in his seat with a sigh, grabbing the file and continuing to write.

Rick looked at Carl as he came back. He was going to remind him to apologize to Negan, but he started writing on his own file and Rick didn’t want to interrupt.

Negan reached for his dinner, munching on the rice and meat silently. He felt kind of out of place. He wanted so badly to hold Carl but knew he couldn’t. Not here. He watched father and son write on their forms.

Carl finished what he was writing almost twenty minutes later, right when Lori came back downstairs. Lori took her seat beside Rick again, continuing to sign the necessary forms. “I’m done,” Carl said softly, passing the form to Negan. “Is there anything else I need to fill out?” 

Negan took the file Carl handed him, flipping through it quickly. He'd read over it in detail later. He put it into his bag next to the arrest forms and shook his head. “No, nothing more to fill out, but we can do pictures now if you’d like.” Negan pulled a small digital camera from his bag and showed it to Carl. “We’ll need to go somewhere with a blank wall just so that there’s nothing in the background.”

Carl nodded, biting his lip as he stood from the couch. “The dining room should work,” he said quietly. He was getting more nervous again. Even with pictures, he was worried Shane would get out of this somehow.

Negan nodded and stood, following Carl to the dining room. He placed a gentle hand to Carl’s back when he saw the boy getting a little nervous. “It’s alright. It won’t take too long.” He fiddled with his camera, getting it turned on, once they reached the dining room. He looked at Carl. “Alright, I’m going to need full-body shots and also details. We can go as slow as you need, okay? We can start wherever you feel comfortable.”

Carl shook his head. “That’s not really what I’m worried about,” he said with a little shrug. He shifted awkwardly. “Should I… take my shirt off? All the bruises are hidden under it, so...” He shrugged, face flushed lightly.

Negan nodded, smiling slightly. “Yes, I’m going to need your shirt and pants off. You can leave your underwear on for the full body shots, but if there is any mark under them, I will need a detail shot of it,” he explained to Carl, keeping his voice clinical.

Carl nodded, tugging his shirt off. He hesitated before slipping his jeans off as well. He had a few dark bruises on his legs, but the most noticeable marks were the scars on his thighs, clearly self-inflicted, and the most recent ones seemed to be a couple of weeks old. He looked away and fidgeted uncomfortably, not wanting to see Negan’s reaction when he saw the scars.

Negan’s eyes roamed over Carl’s skin as it became visible to him. The bruises on his upper body were a little less shocking to him, now that he’d seen them a couple of times, but there were a few marks he’d missed before that he frowned at.

And then he saw the bruises on Carl’s legs. Then he saw the scars. His breath caught in his throat. He’d seen enough self-harm cuts and scars on the kids that came to him. He knew Carl had done those himself. He swallowed thickly. “O-okay…” he took a breath and let it out slowly. “Stand against the wall, face me, arms up,” Negan said. He’d talk to Carl about the scars when they were more alone. That was for sure.

Carl nodded and did as told, avoiding Negan’s gaze as he stood and waited for him to take the picture. “I haven’t… done that in two weeks, just, for the record,” he mumbled, looking at the scars before stealing a quick glance at Negan and looking away again.

Negan knelt down on one knee to get a straight-on picture of Carl from neck to ankle. He took the photo before looking up at Carl. He gave him a small smile. “Good. That’s good,” he said, softly, nodding. “Turn to the side, please.”  Carl nodded and did as told, turning to the side with a soft sigh.

Negan took a photo from the side then had Carl turn to the other side and then to the back. Once he had all the full-body photos, he stepped closer and knelt back down in front of him. He started on Carl’s upper body, taking close-ups of the bruises. From this distance, Negan could see the deep scar on Carl’s side and the nail marks on his hip. He sighed, taking pictures of them before reaching out and touching the side scar lightly.

Carl, having been lost in his own thoughts, flinched slightly in surprise when Negan touched him. He glanced down at the scar and sighed. "That one's pretty old," he said absently, reaching down and running a finger over it. "Happened one of the first times that Shane, well, you know. Did what he did," he mumbled.

Negan frowned and nodded. “How did he do this? Not with his hands, surely?” Negan felt his stomach clench thinking about Shane using any kind of weapon on Carl.

"Pocket knife. I don't think he actually meant to cut me, just wanted to scare me into staying still," Carl stated with a shrug. "Didn't really work. I squirmed and fought against him, and I guess somewhere in the middle of the fighting, he managed to cut me pretty deep. He stitched it up himself, and I was too scared to ask my parents to take me to an actual doctor. I'm just lucky it didn't get infected or anything." He said it nonchalantly like it was no big deal. To him, it really wasn't anymore. He had become desensitized to all the things Shane had done, at this point.

Negan grimaced at the explanation. God, he couldn’t even imagine being in Carl’s position. Negan glanced quickly towards the living room before leaning forward and placing a quick kiss against the side scar. He looked up at Carl. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Carl ran a hand through Negan's hair with a soft sigh. "It's the past. No point dwelling on it, right?" he asked with a small smile.

Negan smiled and nodded. “Right.” He leaned back and moved to the bruises on Carl’s legs, taking photos of those. When he got to the self-harm scars on Carl’s thighs, he took pictures before running his fingers over the raised skin softly. He glanced up at Carl, glanced back towards the living room, and then leaned in and kissed those too.

Carl tensed and looked away, ashamed. Hurting himself might've been a relief at the moment, but there were few things he was more ashamed of than the scars that were left on his thighs.

Negan softly shushed Carl as he tensed up. “It’s okay, Carl.” Negan held up his left wrist, pulling his sleeve down slightly so that the bandages underneath could be seen. “I understand. I get it.”

Carl relaxed slightly, gently grabbing his wrist and rubbing his thumb softly over the bandages, glancing at Negan with sad eyes. He hated thinking of how depressed Negan must've been to hurt himself.

Negan gave Carl a sad smile. “We’re all a little broken, huh?” He huffed a laugh and looked at Carl’s hand on his wrist, leaning into the touch.

Carl huffed a laugh, flashing Negan a weak smile. "Seems like," he mumbled.

Negan sighed softly. He wanted to stay here with Carl, but he knew they needed to get moving before one of his parents came to investigate. Negan stood, gently pulling his wrist from Carl’s grip and pulling his sleeve back down. He pat Carl’s head affectionately. “Thank you, Carl. You can get dressed now,” he said, turning his camera off.

Carl gave him a small smile and nodded, quickly getting dressed. He glanced towards the living room before leaning up and kissing him softly.

Negan smiled at the kiss, kissing back quickly. They definitely will need to set up sometimes for Carl to come over. Negan doesn’t think he could survive without the boy’s touch. “Come on, let’s get back now,” he says, putting his hand on Carl’s shoulder and squeezing gently.

Carl nodded, flashing him another smile before leading the way to the living room. He curled up in his corner of the couch again. "What'll happen once all these forms are done with?" he asked Negan.

Negan sat down in the middle of the couch and put his camera back in his bag. He looked at Carl and opened his mouth to answer, but Rick spoke up first.

“They’ll start an investigation on Shane,” he explained. “They’ll find and arrest him, able to hold him for a week on the charges alone, but they’ll interrogate him, they’ll question us,” he pointed to everyone in the room, “and they’ll look over these other files and forms we’ve been filling out.” Negan nodded at Rick’s words. “And, honestly, with the physical evidence and my testimony of what I heard him say, he’ll be put away very fast,” Rick concluded.

Carl nodded, biting his lip. He hadn’t thought about the fact that the police would want to question him. He sighed, his gaze falling on his food. He  _ was _ pretty hungry, but if he ate... He sighed. Screw it. He picked up his plate and ate a few more bites.  Negan lit up at the sight of Carl eating without being prompted to. He really was going to try.

“Mr. Grimes, I’ll drop off the forms before work tomorrow,” he told Rick. “So we can get this going as soon as possible. I would also like for you to drop Carl off at school tomorrow and I’m going to wait out front and escort him in.” Negan wanted to make sure a trusted adult was with Carl as much as possible until Shane was behind bars.

Carl frowned. “But I always walk to school.” He likes walking to school, it was time for him to just chill out and clear his head. “Shane never bothers me in the mornings. Hell, he’s probably still asleep by the time I’m walking to school.”

Negan gave Carl a small smile. “It’s just a precaution. It’s not permanent and it would put me at ease.”

“I agree, Carl,” Rick said. “It’s possible Shane will be suspicious after our outing earlier and want to talk to you.”

Carl sighed but nodded. “Yeah, okay, I guess,” he mumbled, leaning back in his seat with a frown.

“It’s not permanent, Carl. This will all be over before you know it,” Lori said, trying to reassure him.

Negan reached over and rubbed Carl’s knee. “Thank you, Carl. Your mother is right. Soon your only worries will be homework and who you’re taking to the prom.” Negan chuckled softly.

Carl huffed a laugh and leaned back in his seat. He curled up, pulling his knees to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. He was tired but didn't really want to go to sleep.

Rick set his pen down and read over what he wrote on his form. He nodded and passed it to Negan. “I’m done.”

Negan thanked him and took his papers, placing them into his bag. He looked towards Lori and back at Rick. “Do you two have any other questions for me about anything?”

Rick thought for a moment but shook his head. He knew how the process worked.  Lori shook her head as well, as she had nothing she could think to ask at the moment. Plus, she knew if she ended up having any questions, she could ask Rick.

"Am I gonna have to testify against him in court or anything like that?" Carl asked, the thought popping into his head.

Negan turned to look at Carl, nodding. “Most likely. If he lawyers up and pleads not guilty, which most abusers do, it will go to court.” Negan sighed. “He probably knows he won’t be able to win the trial either. It’s just a way to extend his time before prison.”

Carl shifted uncomfortably in his seat, growing more nervous the more he thought about it. "So, I might have to talk about the things he did to me, in front of a whole jury and lawyers and a judge and all that?"

Negan reached out and placed his hand on Carl’s knee. “It will mostly be a lot of them reading what you wrote down in your statement and asking if it’s true. Probably showing the pictures, asking what they’re from, that kind of thing.” Negan always hated sending kids to trial. They’d been through so much and then to put them on the stand like that. It was so stressful for everyone involved. He sighed. “But yes, you will have to talk about it.”

Rick moved from his spot to stand next to where Carl sat. He placed his hands softly on his son’s shoulders and leaned down to kiss his head. “You’re strong, Carl. I know it’s going to be scary, but I know you can do it.”

Carl sighed shakily and nodded. "How quick will they start investigating Shane?"

“Well, I’m going to drop all this off before school tomorrow…” Negan said, gesturing towards his bag.

“And I’m going to make sure it gets put on the high priority list,” Rick cut in. “This involves a fellow police officer and the sheriff’s kid. There’s no way this will be ignored, even without my intervention, but I will make sure he gets taken in by the end of the day tomorrow.” Rick gave a hard nod. He massaged Carl’s shoulders lightly. “I’ll make sure he never touches you again, son.”

Carl nodded again, though he looked much calmer now. He yawned. "I think I'm gonna go to bed if that's okay," he said softly.

Rick leaned down, kissing Carl’s head again and hugging him as well he could from Carl’s curled up position. “Of course. You’ve had a long day, I’m sure. Go on. Get some sleep.”

Negan nodded and patted Carl’s knee. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?” He gave Carl a smile.

Carl hugged his dad back and flashed Negan a smile. "Yeah, see ya." he hummed, standing from the couch. Lori pulled him into a quick hug, kissing his cheek before letting him go. He went upstairs and quickly changed into pajamas before crawling into bed.

Negan watched him go before turning back to Carl’s parents. “Is all the paperwork done then?” he asked.

Rick nodded, looking at Lori. “I think so.”

Negan nodded and started collecting his pens. “I thank you both for your time and your cooperation and for buying me dinner.” He smiled at Lori.

Rick put a hand on Negan’s shoulder, and Negan’s breath caught in his throat slightly from the warmth and strength behind it. “Thank you,” Rick said, locking eyes with Negan. “For taking care of our son when we did not.”

Negan swallowed and nodded. “Of course.”

Lori smiled warmly at him. “I’m happy that Carl had you to talk to when he felt like he couldn’t talk to us,” she remarked. “Drive safe, Negan.”

“Thank you, ma’am,” Negan said to Lori, standing up and placing the strap of his bag over his shoulder. “These next couple of weeks might be a bit rough, but it will be over before you know it.” Negan gave them each a smile before moving towards the door. “Good night!”

“Good night, Mr. Morgan,” Rick said, following after Negan and locking the door once he left. He sighed and went back to Lori, wrapping her in a tight hug.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shane gets got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop sorry about the wait yall! Work and life have that annoying habit of getting in the way haha~
> 
> Enjoy!

Negan made his way home in silence, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel anxiously. He needed to print up the pictures and add them to the file and read through all the forms before tomorrow morning. It would be a bit of a long night.

He jumped when he heard his phone go off in his silent car. He quickly fished it out of his bag and answered without even looking at who it was, putting it on speakerphone so he could talk and drive with both hands. “Hello?”

“Hey, Negan,” Carl yawned, running a hand through his hair as he sat on his bed.

Negan smiled hearing Carl’s voice. “Hey, Carl. What’s up? You okay? I just left.”

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just can't sleep, wanted to talk to you," he admitted.

“Aww,” Negan cooed obnoxiously. That was really cute. “Just don’t get caught by your parents. You know they’re gonna be keeping a better eye on you now.”

Carl rolled his eyes, then sighed. "Yeah, I know. I'll probably never be allowed to leave the house alone again," he said, huffing a laugh.

Negan laughed too. “Well, they’re just looking out for you. Parents in situations like this often feel guilty. They’re not gonna know if they should hide you away or buy you everything you want.” Negan chuckled.

Carl laughed. “Mm, but I’d definitely prefer the latter.”

Negan turned into his driveway, grabbing his bag and turning his phone off speaker, holding it to his ear as he got out. “I bet your dad will buy you stuff. He seems like the kinda person who would spoil his kid to make up for being away.” He unlocked his door and stepped inside, making his way to his bedroom.

Carl hummed. "Yup, that's his thing. My mom though, she's more likely to just want to spend time with me all the time. Like if I step out of her line of sight, I'll disappear forever."

Negan chuckled, setting his bag on his bed and flopping back onto his mattress. “Well, you be nice and you let her take you out. Hang out with her, okay? She won’t be around forever, and neither will your dad, and you’ll be glad you spent the time with your parents when you did.”

"Jesus, that's depressing. You make a good point, though," he sighed. "I really don't feel like going to school tomorrow."

Negan chuckled. “Sorry.” He turned over onto his side. “You’ve gotta go to school, Carl. Gotta keep your grades up. Talk to that new friend, Enid? Come visit me at lunch.”

Carl groaned. "The classes are all boring as hell though."

Negan smiled. “They can’t all be boring. Surely there’s something you like?”

"English," he admitted. "But the teacher, Mr. Greene, totally hates me because I never participate."

“Well,” Negan scoffed. “Who’s fault is that?” He grinned, hoping his playful tone came through the phone.

Carl rolled his eyes but laughed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he mumbled with a grin.

“I would like you to speak up more in class, Carl. It might make the other ones less boring. Might help make more friends.” Negan shrugged. “High school is what you make of it. And trust me, once it’s over, there’s no looking back. It becomes a vague blur and you wonder why you were so worried about the things you were worried about.”

Carl sighed. "I'll try speaking up, I guess. I just don't like the attention or the possibility that I'll say the wrong answer in front of everyone."

“That’s a valid fear,” Negan said, nodding. “But that’s how we learn. You’ve gotta get some things wrong to know to do them right. Plus, no one cares, and if they do? Fuck ‘em.”

Carl huffed a laugh. "That's not very professional language, Mr. Morgan," he teased.

Negan snorted. “I’m off duty, Mr. Grimes. I can say whatever the fuck I want,” Negan purred into the phone.

Carl laughed. "Maybe you should wash that dirty mouth of yours, sir," he teased.

“You know you like it,” Negan teased back, chuckling.

"Mm, maybe.” Carl laughed softly.

Negan laughed. “Bet you’d like my mouth better if it was on you, hm?” He growled the hum, wondering if Carl would be up for a little dirty talk or if that was pushing it.

Carl bit his lip but hummed in agreement. "Definitely."

_ Yes!  _ “Yeah? You like it when I kiss you?” Negan asked, voice canted low. “Your soft lips are so perfect for it.”

Carl hummed, his face flushing. He felt awkward like he didn't know what to say. "Wish I was kissin' you right now," he admitted softly.

Negan sighed at Carl’s quiet tone.  _ Maybe not. _ “I do too, babe. I love your kisses.”

Carl frowned as he heard Negan sigh. He glanced at the time and frowned as he saw it was getting a bit late. Negan was probably tired, and he was probably just bothering him, like usual. “I’m gonna go to bed,” he said abruptly.

“Oh?” Negan looked at the clock. He still needed to do some work on Carl’s case so he could turn it in in the morning. Still... that abrupt change didn’t sit well with Negan. “Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?” he asked quietly.

“What? No, it’s not you. I’m just tired,” Carl said with a little shrug before he remembered Negan couldn’t see him. He really wasn’t bothered by anything Negan did, he was annoyed with himself, so really it was his own fault. “G’night.”

“O-okay. Good night, Carl. I’ll see you at school,” Negan said. He bit his lip before quickly adding, “I love you.”

Carl fell silent, not saying anything for a moment.

Negan froze on the other end. _ Shit. Shit. Shit. _ He fucked up. He fucked up. “C-Carl?”

“Love you too,” Carl murmured, absently playing with the hem of his tee-shirt.

Negan let out the breath he’d been holding, laughing breathily in relief. Oh, thank god. “Get some sleep, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See ya tomorrow,” Carl yawned before hanging up. He plugged his phone in and curled up beneath his blanket, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Negan hung up and took a moment to breathe. He had almost really messed up there. He needed to reign it back a bit. But hearing Carl say that he loved him made his chest warm and he smiled.

Quickly printing up the pictures of Carl and attaching them to his file, Negan went over what Carl’s parents had written in their forms, mostly that they had been working long hours and had no reason to suspect Shane of anything. Then he got to Carl’s statement. He was almost afraid to read it. Did he really want to know everything that had been done to Carl?

Well, it didn’t matter if he did or didn’t want to, he had to in order to work the case. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before opening the file and beginning to read.

The first time Shane had sexually abused him had been on Christmas Eve a year and a half ago.  _ Shit, Christmas Eve? Really? _ Negan sighed, fidgeting with his shirt sleeves as he read.  After that, each individual event was explained, kept as short as possible, though the ones where Shane had beat him were longer simply because he listed certain injuries he had gotten. Even those were kept brief, though, like he hadn’t wanted to dwell on any one memory too long.  Tears sprang to Negan’s eyes about halfway through. How Carl had survived some of these injuries was amazing to him. He sniffed, wiped his eyes, and finished up the file.

…

Carl said goodbye to his father before getting out of the car and heading inside the school. Most of the day passed in a boring blur, like usual. In fourth period, right before lunch, he had struck up a conversation with the senior who was in Spanish with him, when he was suddenly called to the office for dismissal.

When he got there, book bag on his shoulder and confusion on his face, he found Shane leaning against the receptionist’s desk. His heart stopped then was suddenly racing.  _ Shit shit shit. _ Why was he here?

“Hey, Carl. Your dad sent me to pick you up,” Shane lied with a grin. “You ready to go?”

…

Negan dropped the files off at the police station in the morning before work. He marked them as urgent but watched as the front desk person set them with the rest of the arrest forms to be taken care of. Negan frowned. At least when Rick got there things would start moving.

He got to school a little later than he’d hoped and missed meeting Carl outside. Shit. He hoped he made it inside without a problem.

The day passed as it was wont to. Negan met with some regular students and those with appointments. He found himself with some free time before the bell for Carl’s and his lunch period, so he figured it’d be a good time to run to the teacher’s lounge and heat his food up.

As he made his way there, Negan caught a glimpse of long brown hair near the front of the school. He did a double-take, stepping back. Yeah, that was Carl... but who was that with him?

Negan’s heart leaped to his throat, and he immediately strode his way to the boy.

“Hey, Carl! What’s going on? How are you?” he asked, loud and friendly-like giving Carl a huge smile.

Carl spun around, the panic on his face melting into relief almost immediately. “Negan, hey!” he greeted with a falsely bright smile. “I’m alright, but Shane here picked me up before I could meet you for lunch, like usual.”

Shane frowned at Negan, crossing his arms over his chest. “Sorry, but we really don’t have time to chat. Carl’s gonna be late for an appointment.”

“My mom or dad would’ve told me if I had an appointment today,” Carl said, much quieter now that he was addressing Shane, unable to actually look at him.

Negan stepped up right next to Carl, practically in front of him, standing to his full height against Shane. Negan had at least four inches on the guy. He smiled down at him. “You know, only a parent or guardian can check out a student from the school, and you sure don’t look like Mr. or Mrs. Grimes,” Negan said, laughing loudly. A few other students and staff in the halls looked over. “Plus, Carl is right, he had a lunch appointment with me and his parents would have informed either me or him if he had an appointment elsewhere.”

“You can check with the office, Rick gave me permission back in September to pick him up,” Shane said with a scowl. “I don’t know who the hell you think you are to tell me that I can’t pick up my godson.”

Negan kept up his grin as he gazed down at Shane, taking a step more in-front of Carl and looming more over Shane. “I’m the guidance counselor here, and I have the ability to override parent permission of a non-guardian if I feel like that non-guardian is removing the student under false pretenses,” Negan explained, voice dark though his smile did not crack. “And I feel like you, sir, are working under some very false pretenses.”

Shane clenched his jaw, clearly beyond pissed off, but seemed to decide to back off. “Fine,” he said, grinding his teeth. He turned to Carl. “I’ll pick you up after school.” He flashed him a smile before walking out of the school.

Carl was shaking, Shane’s anger having freaked him out and sent him into panic mode.

Negan waited until he saw Shane leave and the doors close before he quickly turned to Carl. “Carl? Are you okay? Come on. Can you get to my office?” Negan ushered the boy, softly pushing on him to try and get him into his office as fast as he could.

Carl managed to hold it together until they reached Negan’s office. He pressed against Negan, burying his face in his chest as he cried and sucked in huge breaths that did nothing to help calm him.

Negan hugged Carl tightly, rubbing his back, letting him cry it out. Fuck. How had the police not picked Shane up yet? What had tipped Shane off? What had he been planning on doing with Carl? “It’s okay, it’s okay. He’s gone. He’s not going to get you. I’ve got you. Shh.”

Carl cried himself out, and by the time he pulled away, Negan had a wet spot on his shirt. “I’m sorry,” he sniffled, feeling the start of a headache coming on.

“Don’t be sorry, Carl,” Negan said, taking Carl’s face in his hands and wiping away any extra tears with his thumbs. “Don’t be sorry at all. Come on. Lay down. You want some water?” Negan gestured to the couch in the room.

Carl dropped his book bag before falling onto the couch and curling up, pulling his knees to his chest. He didn’t say anything, his expression kind of blank.  Negan grabbed a water bottle from the mini-fridge under his desk and set it next to Carl on the couch. He brushed some of his hair away from his face and leaned down to kiss his temple. “I’m going to call your father and see what’s going on at the station, okay?”

Carl nodded, picking up the water bottle, and taking a sip. His mind was racing, unable to avoid thinking about what Shane would’ve done if Negan hadn’t stepped in and Carl had had to go with him.

Negan made his way back around to the other side of this desk and called the police station, tapping his fingers on his desk as he waited for someone to pick up.

“Hello, King’s County Sherriff Department,” a young man said, sounding bored.

“Hello, this is Negan Morgan, the guidance counselor at Corcoran High. Is Sheriff Grimes there?” Negan tried to keep his voice level, but it was taxing. He picked up a pen and started tapping it on his thigh.

“Yup, he’s at his desk. I’ll patch you through.”

Rick’s phone beeped as the call was transferred, and he paused in his typing to pick it up. “Hello?”

“Rick? It’s Negan. I’m calling you from the school. Shane was just here trying to dismiss Carl early. I barely caught him in time. What is the status on the case over there?” Negan said quickly.

“I had it given to Dixon, he’s one of the best officers here. He was looking through the file just a few minutes ago, getting familiar with it all, but I’ll ask him to speed things along and we should have Shane arrested soon. Is Carl okay?” Rick asked, concerned.

Negan looked to Carl on his couch. “He’s shaken. Panic attack most likely, but I’ve got him safe here in my office. I’ll keep him here for the rest of the day. Shane said he was going to try and pick him up after school. I’m not sure where he went off too.” Negan sighed.

Rick sighed as well, tapping his fingers against the desk. “Alright. I’ll be there at the end of the day to pick him up, and let him know he can call me if he needs anything. I know you’re there but… I want him to know I’m here, ya know?”

“Of course. Do you want to talk to him now?” Negan asked, looking at Carl pointedly. He didn’t know if he’d actually talk to anyone right now but might as well try.  Carl quickly shook his head. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.

If there was one thing Rick knew about his son, it was that he was not the type to talk about things, that was clear as hell, given everything they had found out yesterday. “Does he even want to talk? We’re gonna have to talk at some point, but right now I don’t wanna force him.”

Negan sighed. “No, no he doesn’t. Alright, well I’ll let him know he can call you if he needs you. Also, when you pick him up, come to my office. I don’t want to let him outside the school building without you.”

“Alright. I’ll let you know when they pick Shane up. Thanks for the call,” Rick said before hanging up.

Carl looked up as Negan put the phone down. “Are they gonna get Shane?” he asked quietly.

Negan hung up and nodded towards Carl. “Yes. Your dad will call when they do and he’ll come to pick you up later.” Negan got up and came back around his desk to sit on the couch next to Carl. “He wants you to know you can call him whenever. He’s there for you.” Negan rubbed at Carl’s back in small circles.

Carl sighed, leaning against Negan easily. "I don't wanna go back to class," he mumbled.

“No, no. You don’t have to go back at all. I’ll email your teachers. You just stay here, okay?” Negan said, softly.

Carl nodded, looking up at Negan. He hesitated before kissing him softly.

“Mm..” Negan tensed for a moment as Carl kissed him but quickly relaxed and eased into it, kissing back gently. He placed a hand on the side of Carl’s face, stroking the boy’s cheek with his thumb. Carl straddled him, settling in his lap easily as he continued to kiss him.  Negan placed his hands softly on Carl’s hips, tilting his head up to lean into the kiss. He had a vague inkling at the back of his mind that he should be worried about them doing this at school, but Carl’s lips on his washed it away.

He did break the kiss for a second to turn his head around and make sure the door was locked. It was.  _ Okay, good _ .

He turned back to Carl, locking lips again. Carl bunched Negan's shirt up in his fists, kissing him hungrily, causing  Negan to let out a choked moan into the kiss. He loved when Carl got a little rougher. He opened his mouth against the boy’s and licked at those soft lips he loved, encouraging them to open.

Carl parted his lips, deepening the kiss and pressing against Negan heavily. _Mmm_. Negan let his tongue explore Carl’s mouth as he let his hands move to Carl’s back and run up and down his spine, pulling the boy impossibly closer to him and drawing a soft mewl from Carl as he nipped at Negan’s lower lip. Negan hummed back, loving everything Carl was giving him. He let his hands fall down from Carl’s back and rest lightly on the boy’s thighs that were on either side of him, squeezing lightly.

“Mmm.”  Carl slipped his hands under Negan's shirt, lightly scratching his nails down his torso.  Negan gasped against Carl’s lips, hands tightening on the boy’s thighs. He started trailing kisses to Carl’s cheek, and then his jaw to his neck. He kissed and licked, afraid to bite. He didn’t want to give Carl bruises that would be examined during the trial. Grinding lightly against Negan, Carl had to bite his lip to hold back a soft moan.

Negan groaned lightly against Carl’s neck. He slid his hands up and down Carl’s thighs, grinding softly back up. He trailed kisses up to Carl’s ear before panting, “Carl, what do you want?”

"I w-want you," Carl whined quietly.

Negan shuddered. “Christ...” he breathed out, feeling the heat pooling in his groin from those words. There was no way he was gonna fuck the kid. Not in his office. That was too risky. Negan trailed a hand up Carl’s thigh, grinding his palm into Carl’s crotch. “You want my hands? My mouth? What do you want, Carl?”

Carl whimpered, grinding against his hand. “Y-yeah…”

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Carl froze.

_ Shit. _ Negan pulled his hands away from Carl and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Yes?” he called out, voice as normal as possible. Who could it be? He was supposed to be on lunch right now.  Carl scrambled off of Negan's lap and sat in the corner of the couch, pulling his knees to his chest. 

"There was a fight, I have the student that started it here," the principal said through the door. "Can we come in?"

Negan cleared his throat as he stood, brushing himself off and straightening his clothes. “Relax, relax,” he whispered to Carl. He went to his door, opening it about halfway. “I’m with another student at the moment. What happened?” he asked the principal, flicking his eyes down to the student at her side.

Carl nervously ran a hand through his hair and peered around Negan to see who it was. He frowned as he recognized Enid, wondering why she had gotten in a fight since she didn't seem much like the fighting type.

"She attacked another student," the principal stated simply. "She said she did it because the other student was making homophobic comments."

Negan looked at the principal, a snarky response of ‘ _ Sounds like he deserved it _ ’ stuck on his tongue. He nodded. “Alright, I’ll talk with her.” He stood aside to allow the girl entrance, looking back at Carl. “You don’t mind, do you?” he asked.

Carl shook his head. "Hey, Enid," he greeted quietly, flashing a small smile.

"Hey, Carl." She seemed confused as to why he was here, with his book bag and everything, but she didn't ask, figuring it wasn't really her business. She sighed as she plopped into one of the armchairs in front of Negan's desk.

Negan thanked the principal and shut the door. He looked at Carl and then at Enid. So, this was the girl he had made friends with? Well, looked like he was picking some good influences. “Enid, is it? Nice to meet you,” Negan said, smiling at the girl. He made his way around his desk and sat down, getting out a new file. “I’m Negan Morgan, the guidance counselor, as you are probably aware. Can you just explain to me what happened that brought you to me today?” He clicked his pen and held it over his notepad.

Enid frowned. "Ron was being a dick," she said with a shrug. "He kept making homophobic comments and he called me a dyke, so I punched him. A few times."

Negan nodded, writing down her words. When she was done he set his pen down and looked up at her, smiling. “Okay, first of all, good for you. I’m glad you stuck up for yourself and for others that could have been feeling hurt by Ron’s words. There’s no room for that kind of talk here,” he said, shaking his head. “Now, how bad did you hurt him? Did he get in trouble at all? If it was up to me, I’d let you go back to class, but I might need to give you detention if you seriously injured him.”

Enid snorted. "The only thing that was seriously injured was his ego. The only real injuries he got was a bloody nose and a wicked bruise on his jaw."

Negan quickly wrote that down, nodding. “Alright, alright. Well, how about you stick around until next period and promise me that next time you hear any hate talk you come get me. It looks like you can handle yourself pretty well, but the school doesn’t appreciate the violence.” He chuckled.

Enid nodded in understanding, then glanced at the clock. There was still half an hour left in the period. She sighed and turned to Carl, offering him a smile. "How've ya been?"

"I'm alright," he said with a shrug. "How 'bout you?"

Negan smiled and turned to his computer, starting to send emails to Carl’s teachers and making a digital version of Enid’s file as well as emailing her last period teacher. He mostly ignored the students as he got sucked into his work. 

Enid shrugged and shook her hand out. “My hand kinda hurts,” she said, smiling.

Carl grinned. "I'm glad Ron finally got his ass handed to him," he said with a soft laugh.

Enid grinned. “Someone was going to do in eventually. Thought it might as well be me.” She laughed and moved to sit on the couch by Carl. She cocked her head towards Negan. “I like this guy though. He seems cool,” she said, just glad she didn’t really get in trouble. It had felt so good in the moment but the worry of punishment had crept up on her long walk to Negan’s office.

Carl nodded. "Yeah, he's pretty chill," he agreed. "How'd you do on the History quiz we took a couple of days ago?"

“Got a B+,” Enid said. “Some of my long answer questions weren’t ‘explained clearly’,” she air quoted, rolling her eyes.

Carl rolled his eyes. "That's stupid. Mr. Jones is so annoying with his grading."

“I knooow!” Enid groaned. “I’ve never gotten an A in his class. It’s, like, impossible!”

"Right? It's ridiculous! He takes points off for the stupidest things, ya know? He literally took a point off of my homework simply because I forgot to write the date," Carl complained.

Enid scoffed. “Oh my god, that’s crap! What a jerk.” She flipped her hand in the air dismissively. “He must get off on causing kids pain.”

"Yup. He loves that he has that power over us," he said with a roll of his eye. He absentmindedly reached up to adjust his bandage, wanting something to do with his hands.

Enid’s eyes followed Carl’s hand and she bit at her lip. “Hey, can I ask what happened?” She said quietly, pointing to her own eye. “You don’t have to tell me, but... I’m just curious.”

Negan’s typing stuttered for a moment but he rebounded and kept going smoothly.

"What- Oh, my eye?" Carl shrugged. "It's not a very interesting story. Just a hunting accident. I was out hunting with my dad, and some other hunter had shitty aim. They hit me instead of the deer or whatever the fuck they were aiming for," he explained with a laugh. He had gotten over being upset about it, though he still hated the scar.

Enid sucked in a breath and grimaced. “Wow, that’s bullshit. I’m glad you survived though. That seems so close to your head,” she said, shuddering.

Carl nodded. "Yeah, having a fucked up eye is much better than being dead," he said with a grin. He yawned and laid down on the couch, though he still kept his focus on Enid, not wanting to be rude. "You ever been hunting?"

Enid shook her head, picking up her legs to cross them on the couch, looking down at Carl. She softly reached out and brushed some of his hair away from his face. “Nope. Never even held a gun.”

Carl hummed. "My dad taught me to shoot a couple of years ago, but it's not really my thing. And hunting? Well, it's even more boring than History, which is saying something, because we both know how many kids fall asleep in History," he laughed.

Enid laughed too. She picked up some strands of Carl’s hair and fiddled with them in her fingers. “Well, that’s still kinda cool. If there’s ever a zombie apocalypse you’ll be more prepared than me.” She snorted a laugh.

"Mm, zombie apocalypse? I think you've been reading too many comics lately, E," Carl teased. The bell rang, meaning Enid had to get back to class, and he pouted.

Enid laughed and shrugged. “Well, that’s my cue,” she said as the bell rang, booping Carl’s nose. 

Negan turned to face the kids, smiling at Enid. “Alright, what did you learn from your time here?”

“Hitting is bad,” Enid said with a smirk as she stood up. Negan grinned back.

“Good answer.”

Carl laughed at Negan and Enid's conversation.

Enid stood and turned to go when she suddenly stopped and turned to Carl. “Oh, give me your phone. Let me give you my number. Text me whenever, okay?”

He unlocked his phone before passing it to her so she could put her number in, not noticing all the text notifications he had gotten.

Enid quickly added her number to Carl’s phone, passing it back to Carl right as another text came through. It buzzed in her hand but she didn’t read it. “Here you go. Oh, you’ve got a message too.” She moved to the door, waving to both boys. “Bye!” Negan waved as well, giving her a small smile.

Carl nodded. "See ya.” He hummed, scrolling through the texts. They were all from Shane, the last one saying "the cops are here, what fucking lies did you tell, Carl?" Instead of getting scared or upset as he had been before, he was just… angry. He hated that Shane wouldn't just leave him alone. "Look at this bullshit," he growled once Enid had left and closed the door, standing and dropping the phone on Negan's desk.

Negan hummed and looked at the phone, scrolling through the texts. He scoffed. You’d think for a police officer he’d be smart enough not to leave a digital trail. “Don’t delete these, Carl. This is some good evidence here.” He looked up at Carl, actually glad that he was getting angry and not scared at the texts.

"Why can't he just go the fuck away?" he sighed, falling back onto the couch. He hissed as he landed wrong on a healing bruise on his hip and shifted to get comfortable.

Negan pointed to the phone. “Well, according to this, the police should have him in custody. We should probably get a call from your dad soon.” Negan stood and came to sit by Carl, handing him his phone back. “Don’t worry. We’re working on making him go the fuck away.” Negan smiled.

Carl tossed his phone on the ground. "I'm so over all this. Why the hell didn't I go to anyone sooner? Shit, I'm so stupid," he muttered.

Negan picked the phone up and held on to it, reaching over to squeeze Carl’s shoulder. “Hey, hey. No, you’re not,” he said softly. “It’s perfectly understandable why you didn’t tell. It’s hard for anyone to tell. I’m just glad that you did.”

"No, if I had just said something that Christmas after it first fuckin' happened, he wouldn't have become this obsessive fuckin' psycho.” He sighed.

“Maybe so, Carl,” Negan sighed, wrapping his arm around Carl’s shoulders and pulling him into his side. “But the past can’t be changed, so let’s look forward now, okay?”

Carl sighed, slumping against him. "Yeah, okay. How much longer 'til school is over?"

Negan placed a quick kiss to Carl’s head, knowing that his door was unlocked. “Two more periods, babe.”

Carl nodded, curling up beside him with a yawn. "I’mma take a nap," he murmured, closing his eye.

Negan settled into the couch and rested his hand on Carl’s back. He really should leave the boy be and get some work done, but he liked having Carl curled up to him, and they wouldn’t get very many moments like this. So, he relaxed into the seat and hummed a soft lullaby, drawing circles on Carl’s back with his finger.

Carl easily drifted off to sleep, feeling comfortable and safe with Negan.

…

Negan eventually did pull himself away from Carl, once the boy was asleep. He placed a pillow under him and a blanket over him and returned to his desk to do some work. He canceled the other appointments he had for the day and wrote down the texts he remembered from Carl’s phone. He’d have to get Carl to open it for him again so he could screenshot it and attach it to the file. He chewed on the end of the pen, watching the boy sleep. He hoped the arrest went easily enough.

Negan's phone ringing cut through the silence, and Carl stirred a bit, shifting to get more comfortable before stilling again, still asleep. Negan quickly grabbed his phone before it could ring twice. “Hello, Negan speaking,” he answered in a slightly hushed voice.

"Hey, it's Rick. We got Shane, he's in a holding cell, and I think Daryl is gonna interrogate him soon," Rick informed him.

“Oh, thank god,” Negan breathed out. He ran his hand through his hand. “Keep me updated. Carl is asleep right now, but I’ll tell him when he wakes.”

"Alright, and will do," Rick said before hanging up. Carl continued to sleep soundly.

Negan breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back in his chair. He gazed up at the ceiling as he thought. Shane was in holding. He was going to be interrogated. Things were going smoothly. This was good. This was good.

...

Carl slept until the bell rang for the end of the period, and he yawned as he opened his eye and looked over at Negan.

Negan was finishing putting his stuff away in his bag when the bell rang. He looked over at Carl, watching the boy wake. He smiled at him. “Hey, sleepyhead. How you feeling?”

“Sleepy,” Carl hummed with a grin. “Is it time to go?” he asked, sitting up and stretching his arms around his head with a soft groan.

“Just about. I told your dad to meet us here,” Negan said, putting his bag strap around his shoulder. “They got Shane. He’s in holding and being interrogated as we speak.”

A small, hopeful smile appeared on his face. "Really? So we're one step closer to this all being over with." He stood from the couch and walked over to Negan, pressing up and kissing him happily.

Negan kissed back for a moment before pulling back gently. “Yes. It’ll be over before you realize,” he said, smiling. He patted Carl’s cheek. “My door is unlocked and your dad will be here soon. Why don’t you go get your backpack and get ready to go, hm?”

Carl nodded. He made sure to put his pillow and blanket away before slinging his book bag over his shoulder and slipping his phone in his pocket.

Negan stood as well and glanced at the clock. He looked back to Carl. “Thanks for always putting the blankets and pillows away,” he said. “Most kids don’t do that.”

Carl shrugged. "No problem." He plopped back on the couch to wait for his dad.

They waited for about ten minutes before there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Negan called from his position leaning against the front of his desk. The door opened and Rick walked in. 

“Hello, Mr. Morgan,” Rick said, walking right to Carl and pulling him into a hug. “Thank you for watching over Carl today.”

“Please, call me Negan,” he said, “and of course, of course.” He nodded.

Carl hugged him back easily and yawned as he pulled away, no longer tired but still a bit groggy. "So, you guys got Shane?"

Rick nodded down at Carl, ruffling his hair. “Yes. He’s being interrogated by Daryl as we speak,” he explained. “I’m not allowed anywhere near him right now due to conflict of interest, but I saw him as they were bringing him in.” Shane had not looked too happy at all when he had made eye contact with Rick.

Carl nodded and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “He texted me. Like, a lot,” he said, unlocking his phone and opening his texts before handing the phone to Rick.

Rick looked over the texts on Carl’s phone and frowned, scrolling through all of them. These were very incriminating, and Shane obviously hadn’t thought before sending them. That meant he was acting out of emotion when he sent them. Out of fear. 

Rick took screenshots of the texts and sent those to himself. He’d get them added to Shane’s file for sure. “Thank you for showing me this,” Rick said, handing the phone back to Carl. “Don’t delete those and don’t block him. If he contacts you again let me know, okay?”

Carl took his phone back and slipped it into his back pocket. He nodded at his father’s words and slung his book bag over his shoulder. “See ya, Negan,” he said with a small smile as Rick started to leave the room.

Negan waved goodbye to the duo as they left, thanking Rick one last time for coming to get Carl. Rick thanked Negan for looking after Carl all day, and they got stuck in a ‘no, no, thank you’ circle for a couple minutes like adults sometimes do. Rick eventually escaped and put his arm ‘round Carl’s shoulder as they made their way back to his car.

Carl yawned softly as he plopped down in the passenger seat of his father’s car. He was not looking forward to the next few weeks, knowing the trial would be a mess. He managed to fall asleep again as his dad drove them home.

Rick glanced over at his son and smiled seeing him asleep. Poor kid was going to be so wiped out from all this shit coming in the next few weeks. Rick knew Carl would pull through. He was a strong kid, but it was still going to be exhausting.

He pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. Getting out, he walked around to the passenger side and opened Carl’s door, unbuckling his son and picking him up carefully. Carl felt so light and Rick frowned. He carried him into the house, after fiddling with the lock on the door, and up to his room, laying him in his bed. He leaned down and kissed Carl’s forehead, brushing the hair away from his face. Carl had stirred slightly but not woken up. As Rick laid him down, he curled up, mumbling Negan's name in his sleep.

Rick cocked his head down at his son. Had he just said his guidance counselor’s name? Rick hummed. Well, he had just spent the day with the man, it was understandable that he was on Carl’s mind.

Rick left Carl’s room, closing his door halfway, and made his way to his room. He sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands, sighing. It’d been a busy day and it was only going to get tougher.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl's parents press for more info over dinner, and Carl spends a nice lunch with Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy everyone seems to really like this story! This chapter is really nice! Has a little bit of drama but mostly some good fluff!
> 
> Enjoy!

Carl only slept for a little while before he woke from a nightmare, covered in a cold sweat and his heart racing. He ran a shaking hand through his mussed hair and checked the time, seeing it was about dinner time. His mom would probably be calling him down to eat any second. He sighed and lied back, wondering if they’d leave him alone if he pretended to be asleep. Probably not, especially since Negan had told them about how he hadn’t been eating.   
He felt his phone buzz and looked at the screen, smiling slightly as he saw a text from Negan. 

‘ _ Hey, how are you? _ ’

Carl replied quickly. ' _ okay I guess. how are you? _ '

Negan sat on his couch, eating takeout, and looking at his phone. Carl hadn’t contacted him at all, not that he said he would, but... Negan couldn’t help but want to talk to the boy. Make sure he’s alright. ‘ _ I’m alright. Eating Chinese. Lucille is sleeping on my foot _ ,’ Negan replied, smiling at how fast Carl replied.

…

Rick helped set the table as Lori finished dinner. He’d told her about the day, about arresting Shane and picking up Carl. He set down the last plate and sighed. “Should I go get him or do you think he’ll answer if you call?”

Lori absently tapped her fingers on the table. "I'll go up and get him," she decided. "I wanna run upstairs and change into something more comfortable anyway.” She had started cooking as soon as she came home, so she hadn't had a chance to change out of her work clothes. 

“Alright,” Rick said, kissing Lori on the cheek before she headed up. 

Lori headed upstairs to Carl's room and knocked on the door in case he was awake. He stayed silent, closing his eyes and pretending to sleep, hoping she would just leave him alone. When she got no answer, she walked in. She gently shook his shoulder until he opened his eyes. "Hey, Carl, dinner's done. You sleep well?"

Carl sighed and sat up. "Yeah," he lied, standing and stretching his arms over his head. 

"Good. I'm gonna go change, but your dad and sister are already at the table," she informed him, playfully ruffling his hair before leaving his room again.

He rolled his eyes and fixed his hair before replying to Negan's text. ' _ nice, pet Lucille for me! _ ' He headed downstairs and plopped into his usual seat at the table. 

‘ _ Will do <3 _ ’ Negan texted back.

Rick smiled at his son as he sat down at the table. “Sleep okay?”

Carl bit back a grin as he saw the text, not wanting his father to question him. He shut his phone off and slipped it into his jean pocket before looking up at Rick. "Yeah," he answered, flashing him a small smile. Lori arrived back down within the next minute and settled into her seat.

“Good, good.” Rick scooped some noodles into Carl’s plate, giving him a normal amount in an attempt to not push the food issue. He also gave him a piece of garlic bread before filling his own plate.

Carl looked down at his plate with a frown. At first, he made no move to start eating, but then he decided he didn't feel like getting lectured by either of his parents. He reluctantly took a small bite.

Rick watched Carl as he ate his own food, making sure his son was eating something and glad when he finally took a bite. Rick looked over at Lori. “How was work, hun?”

"Long," she complained, though she huffed a laugh at the end. "I felt like my shift would never end. How 'bout you?" she asked before taking a bite of her garlic bread. 

Carl only managed a few small bites of his spaghetti before leaning back in his seat with a sigh, not wanting to eat anymore.

Rick nodded at her words. “Well... personally I didn’t have a lot going on, but with the whole Shane incident, it felt the day dragged on for me as well. I can’t wait till this is all over with.” Rick glanced over and saw Carl sitting back. He hummed. “Son, can you please try and eat a few more bites? Please?”

Lori glanced over at Carl as well, concern on her face. 

Carl frowned, looking down. "M'not hungry."

"You don't have to eat all of it," Lori said gently. "Just a few more bites, please?"

"I'm not hungry," Carl insisted with a frown. 

Rick felt like Carl was five years old again and refusing to eat his vegetables. He smiled softly at the thought. Looking over at Judith, the girl had a face covered in sauce and noodles everywhere, but she was still shoving them in her mouth and eating them.

“Carl,” Rick said, voice soft but stern. “I know you’re under a lot of stress, but you need to eat. You need all the strength you can get for these upcoming days.”

"Please, I'm really not hungry," Carl repeated, his tone practically pleading.

Rick set his fork down on the table and sighed. “Why, Carl? Why aren’t you hungry? Please, you can tell us. We are here for you. I know it hasn’t really seemed that way for the past year or so, but we are. We love you and just want to help.”

Carl shifted uncomfortably in his seat, not liking the attention. 

“Carl, you can talk to us about anything,” Lori reminded him. “We’re just worried about you. We want to help you.”

“I just don’t like eating, okay? Can we just, like, not talk about this?” he muttered, looking away from both of them and hoping they wouldn’t ask further questions.

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed. “No, Carl. We can’t just, like, not talk about this,” he quipped, tone one of no-nonsense. “I want to know what’s wrong, Carl. Please.”

Carl scowled and ate a few more bites. "There, I ate more. Can you leave me alone now?"

Rick’s eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed. He shook his head. “This isn’t over, Carl, not until you tell us what’s going on, or at least... why won’t you tell us?” Rick fidgeted with his fork, looking at Lori and then back at Carl. “Your guidance counselor was concerned about this too. You haven’t explained it to him either, have you?” 

Lori watched Carl, concern still clear in her expression as she waited for him to answer. 

Carl huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "There's nothing to really explain," he lied. "I just don't want to eat."

Rick dropped his fist down on the table causing the plates and silverware to rattle. Dammit. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it out slow. “Carl,” he growled as a warning, voice low.

Carl flinched at the noise, tensing up and looking away from his father. Lori shot Rick a look, silently telling him to calm down.

Rick sighed and look between his wife and son. He put his face in his hands and huffed. “I’m sorry,” he spoke through his hands. “Carl, I’m sorry. I’m just...” He ran his hands back through his hair before placing them in his lap. He looked at Carl. “I’m scared, Carl. I care about you so much, and I just want you to be happy and healthy and when you don’t tell me... us... what’s wrong, we can’t help. It makes me feel like I’m failing you as a father. Please, Carl...”

Carl shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Really, there’s nothing to tell,” he insisted, his eyes locked on the table. “Can I go back up to bed? I’m tired,” he lied. He didn’t want to deal with more questions, not right now. His head was starting to ache.

Rick knew Carl was just avoiding the situation. He knew something was wrong and Carl wasn’t telling them. But, god. He didn’t want to push him. Rick didn’t know how much would be too much. “Fine,” Rick said, rubbing his temple. “But come here and hug your mother and I first.” He scooted his chair out and gestured with his hands for Carl to come over. 

Carl couldn't help but roll his eyes as he stood. He hugged his mother first, simply because she was closer. Lori hugged him back and kissed his head as he pulled away. He walked around the table, ruffling Judith's hair as he passed her, and hugged Rick.

Rick stood as Carl hugged him, pulling him in tight and giving a loving squeeze. He kissed Carl’s temple. “I love you, Carl,” he said softly in his ear before leaning back. He tucked some of Carl’s hair behind his ear. “Go get some rest now.”

"Love you too, dad," Carl murmured, flashing him a smile as he pulled out of the hug. He went upstairs and fell onto his bed with a sigh. He didn't feel even slightly tired. He grabbed the remote and turned on his TV, opening Netflix.

…

Negan had moved to his bed after Carl hadn’t answered him. He hoped the boy was eating dinner. Hoped his parents could get him too. As he settled under the blankets, he unlocked his phone and sent a text. ‘ _ Hey babe, can I call you? _ ’

…

Carl pulled his phone from his pocket as he felt it buzz with a text. Rather than texting Negan a reply, he decided to simply call him himself. "Hey, Negan. What's up?" he asked softly.

Negan smiled as Carl called him, answering as he pulled the blankets over himself. “Hey, not much. I just wanted to hear you, wanted to make sure you were doing alright. I miss you when you’re not around, you know?”

Carl grinned. "Aw, don't go gettin' sappy on me now," he teased, curling up beneath his blankets, no longer paying attention to the movie he had on.

Negan chuckled. “Oh, please. You love it,” he purred into his phone.

Carl laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess I do," he admitted.

Negan smiled. “So, how are you feeling? Did your dad say if anything else has happened yet?”

"I'm fine I guess," Carl said, shrugging though Negan couldn't see him. "Nah, he didn't really talk about it. He did decide to bring up my eating habits, though. Thank you so much for bringing that to their attention," he said sarcastically, annoyed.

Negan tssked at Carl’s tone. “I’m just looking out for you, Carl. Just like I’m sure your parents are.” He sighed. “Did you eat at all today?” He asked softly, worry in his voice.

"I ate like a third of my dinner," Carl sighed, playing with the hem of his shirt.

Negan hummed. “Well... that’s better than none. Good job,” Negan praised. “Will you visit me at lunch tomorrow?”

"Of course, it's not like I have any friends to sit with," Carl said, snorting a laugh.

“Hey, now. You’re friends with that girl that was in my office today. Enid? She seems nice,” Negan said.

"Yeah, she's cool," Carl hummed. "But I don't talk to any of her friends, it'd be weird if i sat with her."

“Well, you could talk to her friends,” Negan suggested, rolling his eyes. “You never know how it’ll be until you try. Branch out. Attempt new things. All that jazz.”

Carl wrinkled his nose. "You mean… socialize? Gross. I'm kind of actively avoiding that," he joked with a laugh.

Negan laughed loudly at that. “Alright, alright, Mr. Wallflower. Just come visit me, and I’ll keep you company.”

"Mmkay," Carl hummed happily.

Negan smiled. “We’re gonna have to make something up to get you to visit me on weekends, kid,” he said softly. He reached over and felt the empty side of his bed. “My bed is cold without you.”

Carl hummed in agreement. "I miss laying with you," he admitted. "Got any ideas? I mean, I could always say I wanna spend the weekend at a friend's house."

“Oh, Mr. Anti-social has a friend who he’s spending the night with every weekend?” Negan snorts. “I’m not sure that’d work for the long run... Also...” he bit at his bottom lip. “Your mother is suspicious that last weekend you were with a secret boyfriend... which I mean...” Negan chuckled. “Is kinda the truth, but... she doesn’t like the idea of you not being straight. I... tried to talk to her about it, but she’s set in her beliefs right now.”

Carl sighed. "Yeah, I figured. There's a reason I never came out to them," he said, huffing a laugh. "I think my dad would be okay with me being gay, though," he mused.

Negan nodded against his pillow. “Yeah, he seems like he’s a bit more open-minded,” Negan agreed. He was silent for a moment as he thought. “Well, we can cross that bridge when we get to it,” he said. Maybe they could make up some kinda weekend tutoring gig. Negan didn’t like the idea of lying to Carl’s parents, but until he graduated they couldn’t really be together publicly.

Carl sighed. "Yeah." He rolled over, trying to get more comfortable.

“Do you need to sleep, babe?” Negan asked, feeling himself growing tired. “I can let you go if you need me to. I don’t want you to be tired at school tomorrow.”

“I’m not really tired, but I’ll let you go,” Carl said, thinking Negan sounded tired. “Goodnight, Negan.”

“No, no, you don’t have to. I’m not ti-,” Negan yawned. “-red.” He huffed a laugh. Okay, maybe he was. “I’d talk to you forever, babe. I love your voice.”

Carl felt his cheeks flush and he couldn’t hold back a grin. “I love talking to you, Negan,” he murmured. “But I don’t wanna keep you up if you’re tired.”

Negan hummed and smiled into his phone. “Say my name again?” he asked, voice thick with sleep.

Carl huffed a laugh. "Negan," he hummed softly. "I love you," he said, softly enough for Negan to almost miss it.

Negan’s eyes opened and he grinned. He felt himself warm all over at Carl’s words. “I love you too, Carl,” he said back, trying to pour all his feelings through the phone. “I love you so much.”

Carl smiled brightly, his cheeks flushing darkly. "Me too. I love you a lot," he admitted quietly.

Negan growled softly in content at Carl’s words. He wished the boy was here for him to wrap in his arms and kiss him good night. He yawned again. “I love you more,” he said, playfully.

"Nuh-uh," Carl said with a grin. "I love you more."

Negan chuckled. “Well, I love you most!” Negan couldn’t believe he was playing this game, but he was so happy to do it.

"Sap," Carl teased, glancing at his TV.

Negan giggled. “If I was there, I’d kiss that word off your lips,” he said. “I’d kiss you until we both fell asleep in each other’s arms.” He yawned again. “I’d hold you close and keep you warm. Bury my nose in your hair and drift off,” he murmured.

"I wish you were here," Carl sighed with a pout. "You think I could come over after school tomorrow? I can tell my parents it's tutoring.”

Negan hummed. “That might work. But, you have to promise me if we use tutoring as an excuse, you have to do your homework when you get here. Your grades need to stay up or get better, not even to just keep up the lie, but because I want you to do good in school. Okay?”

Carl groaned. "Fine,  _ dad _ ."

Negan smirked. “Just tryin’ to keep you out of trouble, _ babe _ ,” Negan said, purring the last word.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Carl said with a laugh.

Negan smiled fondly. “Alright. I’ma let you go, okay? Try and get some sleep for me, okay? I love you.”

"Mmkay, I'll try. "G'night, love you too," Carl hummed.

“Good night, Carl.” Negan hung up and placed his phone on his nightstand, pulling the covers over him and drifting off, his mind full of his pretty boy.

Carl finished the movie he was watching and put on another one. He managed to drift off halfway through, and slept soundly through the night.

…

Negan slept well and woke in the morning in a good mood. He got up and got ready for work, making himself a coffee to go, and arrived at the school an hour before the students would show up. He checked over his schedule, making sure his lunch was clear and got settled. He shot a good morning text to Carl as he leaned back in his chair.

…

Carl dragged himself out of bed the next morning, not wanting to go to school. It bored him practically to tears, the only highlight being when he got to talk to Enid and when he had lunch with Negan. He pulled on a tee shirt and some sweatpants since all his jeans were dirty. He didn't check his phone until he was in the car, his mother insisting on driving him to school, and quickly replied to Negan's text.

‘ _ Morning _ .’

' _ How are you today? _ '

' _ fine, but I wish I didn't have to go to school :/,' _ Carl sent the text and stared out the window for the rest of the car ride.

' _ But then you wouldn't see me _ ,' Negan replied, sighing. He knew the feeling. He helped kids every day deal with that same feeling. He just hoped the day would be alright for Carl. He also hoped to get a word from the police station today on any updates with Shane's interrogation.

' _ true, true _ .’

Negan sent Carl a heart emoji before pocketing his phone and getting ready for his first student appointment, opening up their case file, and getting his notepad out.

...

As soon as his mom's car pulled up to the car, Carl got out, even though it was about twenty minutes before homeroom. He decided he could just stop by Negan's office. He waved goodbye to his mother before walking into the building and heading to his office.

Carl didn't bother knocking on the door, knowing Negan wouldn't be with a student this early. He breezed into his office, shutting the door silently behind him. "Good morning," he greeted with a yawn.

Negan jumped slightly as Carl spoke, having been looking through his file cabinet and not looking at the door. "Oh! Hello! I didn't think I'd be seeing you this early," he said, closing the cabinet and walking over to Carl, wrapping him in a hug.

Carl hummed and relaxed against him, pressing up to kiss him softly.  Negan smiled as he kissed Carl back. Oh, he'd missed those lips. He brought his hands up to cup Carl's face, stroking his thumb over Carl's soft cheeks. Carl smiled against his lips, leaning up practically on his tiptoes to wrap his arms around Negan's neck.

Negan huffed a laugh against Carl's lips as the boy worked to get up to him. Negan broke the kiss for a moment, reaching down and wrapping his arms around Carl's thighs, picking the teen up and placing him sitting on top of his desk. He brought his hands back up to cup them around Carl's head, threading them through his soft hair, before leaning in and kissing him again.  Carl hummed happily as Negan lifted him up, and pressed against him, kissing him eagerly.

Negan stepped closer, pressing against the side of his desk and standing between Carl's legs. He nibbled on Carl's bottom lip softly, making sure he wouldn’t leave any marks or make them too red.

Carl made a soft, pleased noise, bunching up the front of Negan's shirt in his fists as if to keep him from pulling back.  Negan hummed and started trailing kisses from Carl's lips to his jaw to behind his ear and down his neck. He let his hands fall down to caress Carl's thighs, squeezing softly.  Carl bit his lip, pressing against Negan with a soft whine.

Negan laughed softly against Carl's neck. "What a nice morning this is turning out to be," he said, kissing back up to Carl's ear and licking at the shell of it.

Carl grinned and hummed in agreement. "Makes me glad I came to school," he said, leaning back slightly to look up at him.

Negan chuckled and tapped Carl's nose with his. "You know, I might just give you a prize if you can get perfect attendance the rest of the school year," Negan said, a gleam in his eye.

Carl bit his lip. "What exactly would the prize be, Mr. Morgan?" he asked, feigning innocence.

Negan hummed, cocking his head. He kinda liked that 'Mr. Morgan' thing. He slid his hands up Carl's thighs softly. "What would you like it to be?" he asked, voice low and husky.

Carl looked down shyly, his cheeks pinking as he thought about what he wanted to say. He felt too bashful, though.

Negan smiled softly and hooked a finger under Carl's chin, lifting it so that the boy would look at him. "What do you want, Carl?" he asked, quieter.

Carl shook his head, his blush darkening. "S'not really school appropriate, Mr. Morgan," he joked quietly, trying to play off his shyness.

Carl was too cute when he was all blushy and shy. Negan kissed Carl's red cheek. Nothing about this was school appropriate. "Tell me later, hm? During tutoring?" he said, pressing his forehead against Carl's.

Carl looked up at him and nodded, flashing him a smile before he kissed him again.

Negan kissed back for a moment before pulling back and patting Carl's thigh. He glanced at his clock on the wall. "You need to get going. Don't want to be late," he said, leaving another kiss on Carl's head.

Carl pouted, pulling Negan close again. "I don't wanna go," he said, half-whining.

Negan chuckled and traced circles on Carl's thighs with his fingers. "You need to go to class, babe. Keep those grades up. Keep that attendance up," he said, leaning forward and kissing Carl's nose. "Get some prizes." He grinned.

Carl grinned. "Alright, alright." He kissed Negan one more time before slipping off of the desk. "See you at lunch?"

"Sure thing," Negan said, walking Carl to the door. He softly tapped him on the butt as he ushered him out the door, smiling and winking at the teen.

Carl glanced over his shoulder and shot him a glare, pretending to be annoyed, before walking out and hurrying to his locker.

Negan watched Carl leave, laughing to himself as he shut the door. He made his way back to his desk and resumed getting ready for his first appointment, now with quite the spring in his step.

…

The morning passed easily, and Carl does as Negan had suggested, raising his hand a few times in some of his classes to answer questions. Once it's lunchtime, he grabbed his lunchbox from his locker and hurried to Negan's office. He knocked once he reached the door.

"Come on in," Negan called. He'd already got his salad he brought for lunch out on his desk and is adding his dressing to it.

Carl opened the door and shut it behind him before plopping on the couch. He placed his lunchbox on the ground, leaning back in his seat and getting comfortable.

Negan smiled at Carl as he sat. "Hey, babe. How's your day been?" He put the lid back on his container of salad and started shaking it to spread the dressing around evenly.

“Good,” Carl said with a smile. “I raised my hand in class a couple of times and got to talk to Enid in English,” he said with a little shrug. “How’s your day?”

"That's great, Carl! I'm proud of ya," Negan said, seriously excited for the teen. He was glad he was listening to at least some of his advice. He set his salad back down on his desk and popped the lid off, grabbing his fork and stabbing at it. "I've been good. Had a couple of appointments that went very well."

Carl hummed and nodded. “That’s good.” He grabbed his water bottle from his lunchbox and took a sip.

Negan shoved a forkful of salad into his mouth and crunched on it. He watched Carl drink his water, waiting for him to eat, but reluctant to say anything about it.  Carl just pulled his phone from his pocket and started to play a game, not noticing that Negan seemed to be watching him.  Negan took another bite of his salad, munching down on a particularly hard crouton. He frowned. Carl didn’t seem like he's going to eat at all.

"Hey, babe," he said softly. "If you're going to spend lunch with me, I'd like it if... you know... you ate some lunch..."

Carl glanced up at him with a frown, but after a moment decided not to argue about it. The last thing he wanted to do was make Negan upset or angry with him. He sighed and grabbed his lunchbox, pulling out the applesauce cup and a plastic spoon. He opened the applesauce and started to eat it, not looking at Negan.

Negan smiled softly as Carl started to eat. "Thank you," he said, eating another bite of his own lunch.

Once Carl finished the applesauce, he put the spoon and empty container back in his lunch bag. He still had a sandwich and a bag of chips in there, but he made no move to grab them, instead relaxing back on the couch and continuing to play on his phone.

Negan finished his salad as Carl relaxed. He packed up his empty Tupperware, took a drink of his coffee, and got up. He walked casually to his door and turned the lock before making his way to the couch Carl was on and sitting next to him, wrapping his arm around Carl's shoulders and pulling him close.

Carl glanced up and flashed him a small smile. “Hey,” he hummed quietly, putting his phone down on the couch beside him.

"Hey," Negan said back, leaning over a bit to place a soft kiss on Carl's head. He reached over with his free hand and pulled on Carl's legs, wanting the boy to lay them over his lap. "C'mere. Let me hold you."

Carl did as instructed, putting his legs over Negan’s lap and curling up against his chest.  Negan hummed and engulfed Carl in his arms, rubbing his scruffy cheek against the teen's head. He was so warm and so soft. Negan could stay like this forever. Carl hummed happily, feeling safe in Negan’s embrace. He rested his head on his chest, relaxing against him.

Laying soft kisses against Carl's hair as he held him, Negan hummed a soft lullaby, running his fingers up and down Carl's arm.  Carl looked up at him with a small smile, happy to just be with him.  Negan smiled back down at Carl, bumping their noses.

Grinning, Carl leaned up to kiss him gently.  Negan hummed against Carl's lips, closing his eyes and pushing forward softly. He kissed Carl lazily, opening his lips against the teens, but not trying to deepen the kiss.  Carl smiled into the kiss, lightly tracing shapes on Negan’s shoulder with his finger.

Negan shivered lightly at the feeling of Carl's finger. He loved touching the boy, but he absolutely adored when the boy touched him. Negan liked being in power, liked being able to move Carl around and play the dominant one. But, there was a part of him who wanted to have Carl take control. He wanted Carl to tell him what to do and how to do it. Wanted Carl to touch him softly and tell him he was loved.

Negan broke the kiss, barely holding his lips an inch away from Carl's to whisper a quick, "I love you," before pressing back against him again.  Carl groaned and kissed back, leaning against him comfortably.

Negan brought a hand up to Carl's face, stroking his thumb over Carl's cheek underneath his bad eye. He brushed the edge of the gauze bandage on accident. He realized in that moment that he had never really asked Carl about his eye. He'd heard how he got it shot out when Enid was there, but Negan had just accepted it as a part of Carl and honestly, almost forgot about it.

Carl pulled back to instinctively reach up and fiddle with his bandages. "Ah, sorry. Habit," he muttered, huffing a laugh. Most of the time he could forget his bandages were there, but the second they were brought to his attention he felt like he had to fiddle with them. When he first started wearing them, he would fiddle with them constantly, until his dad told him not to because the constant moving of the bandages might just mess with his healing wound.

Negan smiled softly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he said, but now that he had, he really wanted to.

Carl shrugged off Negan's apology. "No, it's fine," he hummed.

Negan traced his fingers around the edges of the bandages lightly before coasting right over where Carl’s eye should be. Carl tensed up slightly. He didn't have a problem with it, it just surprised him. Most people like to pretend the bandages weren't there. Sometimes when he talked to people, he'd notice that they'd purposefully avoid looking at his face so they won't have to see the bandages.

Negan kept tracing small circles over the dressings. Carl hadn’t asked him to stop and seemed pretty okay with it. “Have you considered getting an actual eyepatch? It would be a little more discrete,” Negan said shrugging. “I bet they make cool ones.”

"I tried an eyepatch, but I just liked the bandages better, I guess. An eyepatch just made me feel like a pirate," Carl said, laughing at his own joke.

Negan snorted a laugh. He leaned forward and kissed the bandages, right where Carl’s eye should be. He pulled back and tucked Carl’s hair behind his ear. Negan found himself overcome with curiosity all of the sudden. Now that the attention was brought to it, Carl’s eye was like a present that he was itching to unwrap. He licked his bottom lip. “May… may I see… what’s under?” he asked quietly.

Carl bit his lip. "The scar's pretty ugly," he said softly. He didn't want Negan to get freaked out or think it was gross, that he was gross, because he had an ugly hole in his face. "I mean, I'll show you, but just tellin' you now, it's really ugly."

Negan chuckled softly. “I think I can handle it,” he said, pecking Carl’s lips quickly before leaning back and giving him some room.

Carl huffed a laugh and shifted in Negan's lap so that he was facing him. He reached behind his head and fumbled with the knot for a moment before managing to untie it and unwrap the bandages. He set them down beside him on the couch and looked up at Negan, waiting for his reaction.

Negan couldn’t help but gasp softly. Oh, the scar was gnarly, for sure, but it was also fascinating. Negan was amazed that Carl hadn’t suffered any kind of brain damage from it. He licked his bottom lip and reached forward to touch Carl’s cheek, turning the teen’s head slightly so he could see around the side of it. “Wow,” he breathed. “Kid, this is badass.” He grinned. “Can I… can I touch it?”

Carl couldn't help but grin at his words. "Sure," he said softly, shifting slightly to get more comfortable.

Negan giggled as he gently let his fingers trail up Carl’s face and trace around the eye socket. Negan had almost been expecting an empty socket to be staring back at him, but the socket itself was covered in a thick layer of scar tissue. The skin around it was puckered and hard, almost like leather. Negan shivered. He swallowed before moving up to feel the scarred tissue where Carl’s eye used to be.

It was such a strange texture under Negan’s fingers, and it was warm from being under the wrap for so long. He let his fingers linger over every bit of it like he was trying to memorize it with his fingers. “Amazing,” he breathed, looking over to Carl’s other eye and giving him a small smile. “Beautiful.”

Carl blushed at his words. "Didn't realize you had a thing for scars," he teased with a slight smirk.

Negan smirked back and growled softly. “It’s a part of you,” he said. “And I have a thing for  _ you _ .” He leaned forward, dropping his hand and placing the softest butterfly kiss over Carl’s scarred eye.

Carl's cheeks flushed even darker and he looked down. "Shut up, sap," he muttered with a grin before kissing him softly.

Negan laughed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Carl and hugging him. “I’m a hopeless romantic, Carl. Get used to it,” he said, breaking the kiss and winking at the teen.

Carl laughed, rolling his eye. "And I'm gonna tease you for that, so get used to it," he said with another laugh. Suddenly, the bell rang, signaling the end of the period and he sighed, a pout on his face. "I don't wanna go."

Negan kissed Carl’s pouty lips. “You gotta go, babe. You gotta pay attention in class and take notes and raise your hand,” he kissed at Carl’s jaw before leaning back. “We’ll see each other after school. Don’t forget to inform your parents about your tutoring.”

Carl nodded and reluctantly slipped out of Negan's lap. He grabbed his lunchbox and made sure his phone was in his pocket before turning to leave the room. He remembered his bandages at the last second and stopped to put them back on.

Negan stood and followed Carl to the door, watching him replace the bandages. He stopped the teen before he could leave the room, leaning down and giving him a quick kiss. “When you’re in my house, I don’t want you to wear the bandages,” he said, ghosting his fingers over the covered eye. “I like seeing your badass eye.”

Carl laughed. "Whatever you say, sir," he said, tone slightly teasing. He flashed Negan a smile before leaving the room.

Negan closed the door after watching Carl disappear down the hall. He made his way back to his desk and checked his schedule, getting ready for the next student. The end of the day couldn’t come fast enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up with a kudos or a comment! Thanks!


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